Chapter 62
“Love is a choice you make from moment to moment.” – Barbara De Angelis
Rose’s POV
The next day, I was at the pack clinic. If I had been afraid of not feeling anything for my unborn baby, it seemed I had nothing to worry about.
Because the minute the ultrasound showed a tiny blip and the technician let me hear the furious pitter patter of my pup’s heartbeat, I was done for.
I knew I would do anything to ensure the well-being of my baby.
And with this surge of protectiveness came the overwhelming need to share this happiness with the person partly responsible for it.
“Can I get a recording? For Alpha Aiden?” I requested.
He’d wanted to come with me, but I hadn’t felt comfortable agreeing to it. Now I was regretting the decision. He had a right to be here too.
I made my way back to the alpha manor with an extra skip in my step. Aiden was home, as always, and I handed him the usb stick, blushing all the while.
“I thought you’d like to see it,” I confided.
Aiden closed the book he’d been reading and took the recording with a small murmur of thanks.
“Oh, that’s my favorite book!” I exclaimed cheerfully when my eyes fell on Aiden’s book, and I realized it was The Count of Monte Cristo.
“I know,” Aiden admitted before adding bashfully. “I always try to read it for your sake.”
“For my sake?” I looked at him confused.
“Honestly, I’m not a fan of the story. But I always try to read a little bit of it whenever I have the time since you’ve always been so adamant about me finishing the book.”
“You try to read a book you don’t like,” I said carefully, slowly. “Just because it’s my favorite?”
“You’re the one that’s always telling me to give it a chance.” Aiden was a little defensive, ears turning pink. I couldn’t help but think he looked so cute right now.
I realized why he was embarrassed over why he was reading the book. He was reading it for me. I knew it was for me… he was reading the book for me. And that made my heart do a little flip-flop.
After a few days, I firmly deleted my social media accounts from my phone to avoid running across more pictures of me and Aiden.
Pictures that made me wonder who I had become within the past year.
There was a sultry snap of me wearing a crop top, his arms around me, the bare skin of my stomach exposed from my shirt riding up and leaning into him.
My back was pressed firmly against his taught chest as one arm was lifted up, lightly grazing the hair at the nape of his neck.
My luna mark was on full display and if I didn’t know better, I’d say Aiden was kissing my neck.
But that wasn’t right. If this picture was to be taken seriously, the caption denoted that we’d gone to a party together while he was still dating Lexia.
Did he cheat on Lexia with me? Bile rose in my throat.
What kind of person was I to enable such behavior?
And this picture had been taken in April; four months after the time my mind was stuck in.
Had things changed between us that fast?
The questions made my head hurt, made me even more confused and when I tried to ask Aiden, he didn’t offer much in the way of explanations.
His replies were brief, sticking to facts and dates.
Aiden’s curt replies only made me confused.
He said he’d taken me to a party because I’d been crying.
But he wouldn’t tell me why I’d been crying or what happened at the party that resulted in a picture like that being snapped.
Instead, he just looked at the picture fondly like it was some inside joke between him and the Rose who had her memories.
So, to avoid any further unpleasantness, I decided it was better to remove the temptation of over-analyzing my life through social media.
An entire week passed by and every day when I woke up and trudged into the kitchen, Aiden looked at me hopefully. And every day, my heart twisted with guilt as I dashed his hopes because I hadn’t woken up with a regained memory.
Finally, on a Monday, Aiden broke our routine which had consisted of me eating breakfast, asking Aiden questions which he answered as briefly as possible and then me trudging off to go spend time with Layla or my aunt and father.
“Aren’t you supposed to meet with your academic counselor today?” he queried, looking at me searchingly.
I nodded. “I have a meeting later on today.” I looked at Aiden oddly before speaking next. “I have…emails about housing in New York. For the both of us?”
Aiden grinned. It was the first time he’d graced me with a full-on smile, and it took my breath away. He really was cute when he smiled.
“We planned to move up there so you could do your specialisation for med-school.”
“We?” I echoed. Why would he…?
“I didn’t want to live apart from you,” Aiden said quickly. “So I froze my spring semester and decided to transfer in the fall to NYU.”
I blinked. I’d been conflicted that the only reason he was with me was out of a duty to follow the mate pull.
I’d convinced myself he probably didn’t love me since I knew firsthand how much he cared about Lexia.
I had also known that if Aiden wanted to be alpha, he’d have to make me the luna.
So I had deduced that we’d eventually gotten together because Aiden had been forced into it.
As for myself, I suspected I’d fallen in love with him.
It wasn’t hard to understand why. This side of Aiden, that I'd never seen before, was so kind and considerate.
I just had to be near him to make my heart go into overdrive.
“What about your pack?” I finally queried. “How were you going to manage things?”
“Dylan and Tony. And your dad,” Aiden supplied nonchalantly.
Maybe he’d decided it was better to live together to help with the baby.
“Did you know I was pregnant?”
Aiden gave a small chuckle. “I don’t think even you knew you were pregnant until recently.” He looked at me a little sadly. “I found out you were pregnant after you ended up in the hospital.”
And before I could stop myself, the question tumbled out.
“When was my last heat?” Because I had to know how long we’d been…trying to make babies. I must have conceived during my last heat. That was the only logical answer.
Aiden looked at me a little taken aback.
“We didn’t do anything during your first heat.” His words were quiet.
My eyebrows drew together sharply. Why not? If he’d been with me just for the sake of mating, shouldn’t we have done it during my heat?
“Do you think so little of me?” he asked a little sharply. “You think I’d use you like that? Just to breed?”
“I don’t know what to think,” I admitted softly.
“Is it so hard to believe I love you?”
It was like he’d verbally bulldozed me. I took a few steps back as the import of what he’d said sunk in. He loved me?
“That’s…the first time you’ve said that to me.”
Aiden was suddenly there in front of me, crowding in on me. I felt my pulse quicken. He was so close I could have stood on my tip toes and kissed him.
“I’m trying.” He looked at me like a man drowning. “I’m trying to give you space. But I love you. I love you. I love you. I will always love you.”
The admission flustered me. His proximity set me on edge.
I closed my eyes and felt…something. A shadow of a memory or a phantom touch, hands gliding up my arms, lips kissing mine and leaving me breathless…
.a bite on my neck that made my blood sing.
Aiden’s breath was coming hard and fast against my cheek, his gaze was heavy like he wanted to kiss me.
I brought a hand up to touch the bite on my neck.
“When did you do this?” I asked him.
And the moment was broken. Aiden’s eyes shuttered closed as he took a step back and his face became expressionless. “I’ll see you later, I’m supposed to resume my alpha duties today.”
And I was left with more questions than I had answers.
It was when I finally got back to my car after meeting my academic counselor and opened my car trunk to put my newly bought books I’d procured from the campus bookshop, that I found a shopping bag from an expensive lingerie store downtown.
Curious, I set my books aside and reached into the bag.
At once, I dropped the red lingerie in surprise.
It was a red thong and a barely there bra with scraps of crisscrossing fabric that only just covered the wearer’s nipples.
I had a couple of pieces of sexy underwear, mostly to feel confident about myself.
I’d never bought anything for the specific purpose of wearing it to show someone.
This….this had been bought with an intent to seduce.
My finger snaked into the shopping bag again and pulled out a red choker ribbon with a clasp at the back.
I supposed the ribbon choker had been bought to add to the kinky aspect.
A card hung like a pendant from the middle of the choker.
I opened it and my eyes widened at the content inside.
“Happy Birthday, Aiden”
It was written in my own loopy handwriting.
Oh, hell. Who in the world was I? How the hell was I supposed to reconcile this…sex kitten to the person I was now? The person who had no memory of ever being touched beyond a couple of stupid boys and their awkward fumbles?
“Leave it to me to finally have sex and then forget about it.” I spoke bitterly as I flung the choker back into the bag before crossing my arms.
And I definitely did my best to tamp down on a little voice in my head that kept insisting I better put that expensive lingerie to good use before it didn't fit me anymore.