Chapter 7
JESSIE
Again, it’s two in the morning, and I’m lying in bed thinking about August’s hands. Among other things…
This is a pattern now. A nightly ritual, like brushing my teeth or making sure my alarm is set. Only brushing my teeth doesn’t make my thighs press together or make me snatch the sheets and gasp ‘fuck!’ out loud in the dark.
August’s hands. Have I talked about his hands? Because I need to.
They’re so…big. Large and square and capable-looking. Maybe this is weird, but I can’t help but picture him in surgery—holding a scalpel, performing life-saving procedures, nurses clustered around him, ready to do his bidding.
I roll onto my stomach and use the pillow to muffle my moan. It’s a mixture of frustration and feverish horniness. I can’t believe that I’m the same girl who just a few days ago didn’t know what a vibrator was. Had never had an orgasm in her life.
Now I’m lying awake, playing back the way his strong hands spread my legs apart…the way he put his mouth on me…
…threaded his fingers through my hair and guided the back of my head and showed me how to go down on him.
I can’t stop replaying it. All of it.
I reach up under my pillow and find it—the gift my friends bought me. The one August showed me how to use. It lives there now, ready whenever thoughts of him overtake my mind.
I twist it on, the lowest setting. Its hum fills the dark room, and I close my eyes, bringing myself back to his office.
The chair…that leather chair that I made such a mess of. But it’s his fault—his for turning me on so badly that I was that wet.
Ten thousand nerve endings…
Thursday can’t get here soon enough. We both know what’s going to happen. He hasn’t said I’m going to be inside you, Jessie, but I saw it in his eyes. The intention. The possession. Next time we’re alone in his office, I know I’ll be too busy to write anything in my notebook.
The first setting isn’t enough. I twist the knob, increasing the vibration, causing my hips to roll against the mattress as I picture his hands gripping my hips, stripping my clothes off.
“Tighter…” His sexy voice, the way he growled as his head dropped forward. The way his whole body went rigid when he came…
…the taste of his release on my tongue.
Third setting.
My breath comes in short gasps as I press the toy exactly where he showed me. The part of my body that now belongs to him—that is his territory. Now I know exactly where to go, how much pressure, and what angle to use.
My free hand clenches and twists the sheets as I yearn for Thursday. More, I’ll learn more for you, Daddy…
Wow, where did that come from? I don’t even know. But it felt right. In fact, it has me smiling as my body swells with heat.
“Daddy…” I moan again. That’s what I’ll call him on Thursday. He’ll love it. I know he will.
I come hard with my face in the pillow, mouthing the word over and over as my body clenches against a wave of pleasure that starts at the point of contact and twists out through my core, my thighs, causing my toes to curl and my fingers to ball into fists.
It seems to last forever, and when it finally ebbs back, I lie there in the dark, panting and sweating. He did this to me, I think. This is all his fault. His wonderful, incredible fault.
I switch the vibrator off and pick up my notebook. Note to self. Thank the girls for the vibrator. Third setting is life-changing. Fourth setting so far unexplored territory. Will try soon.
Becca is making coffee in the common room when I come out. She takes one look at my face and sets down her mug. “What happened?”
“Huh? Nothing.”
“Jessie.” She frowns. “You look like you were just electrocuted.”
Smiling, I pour myself a cup of coffee and sit on the counter. Huh, I never do that. I always sit in chairs. I’m proper like that. Guess I’m feeling a bit special today.
Dani walks in rubbing her eyes, sees me, and goes back to get Lourdes. In less than a minute, they’re back, and all three of them have formed a semi-circle around me.
“Come on. Spill the beans,” Becca says.
“Okay,” I say, taking a breath. “I…used the vibrator.”
“Alone?” Lourdes asks.
“All by myself.” I nod. “Last night.”
“And!?”
“And it was…” I look down into my coffee and think about how I felt with my face buried in my pillow, moaning like a madwoman. “Really, really good.”
The girls clap and cheer. Dani puts her hands on my shoulder. “And you were thinking about him, right?”
I don’t know why, but I start blushing. That’s all the answer they need. The cheering and clapping rises to a new level. Lourdes pulls out her phone, and my jaw drops as she swipes to reveal a photo of August.
“Well, you can see why, right?” she giggles, flashing it around. “He is a total hottie.”
A hint of jealousy flares in my chest, but I quickly push it away. Why should I be jealous? He is a total hottie, but he’s my total hottie. August could have any girl he wants, but he chose me.
“I’m seeing him again on Thursday,” I say proudly.
“For a little more tutoring?” Lourdes teases, flexing aggressive air quotes above her head.
“Yeah, of course.” I smile.
“Uh-huh,” Dani interjects. “And what is on the syllabus for Thursday’s session?”
I take another sip of my coffee and look at my three best friends—the ones who bought me a vibrator in hopes that I would experience an awakening I somehow never reached on my own. I’m actually a bit blown away by just how much has happened in the last few days.
I am in love with my anatomy professor, and he is in love with me. And the next time I see him, we’re going to have sex.
“Everything.” I smirk.
Becca’s hand flies to her mouth.
“Wait, you’re going to—” Dani can’t even finish.
“Yeah, everything,” I repeat.
Lourdes nods slowly, like a project-manager who is tentative about the next move. “Jessie, are you sure?”
“Am I sure?” I nearly pass out as I think about August, the man of my dreams. “You guys… The way he looks at me—it’s like he wants to know everything about me. Understand me.”
“Oh, so cute,” Dani squeaks.
“And the way he touches me…” My blush deepens. “It’s like my body is the most important thing in the world. Like he’s…studying it because he wants a masters in it.”
“A masters in your body?” Becca giggles, shouldering me softly. “Hot. Can you find me a man like that?”
“What’s his apartment look like?” Dani interrupts. “Is it like a bachelor pad? Or is it all Sherlock Holmes Victorian stuff?”
I burst out laughing. “I’ve only been to his office so far. A leather chair…his desk.”
“You’ve been on his desk?” Becca asks. Her eyes shift as though she’s picturing it. And you know what? I don’t even mind if she is.
“You should wear that blue dress,” Lourdes says, back in project manager mode. “The one with the easy-access top buttons.”
Dani bursts out laughing. “Lourdes!”
“What?” she asks. “It’s important to be prepared. The last thing you want is him fumbling over a bunch of crap while he tries to undress her for her first time!”
I laugh as the girls continue to go on, speculating, arguing, discussing my Thursday tutoring session like it’s the most important thing on social media. Something warm and fizzy starts to bubble up inside me, and I have to cover my eyes with my palms to hide the tears.
Becca notices, though. She always does. She comes and wraps an arm around me. “You really love him, don’t you?” she asks. All I can do is nod, choking back sobs—wonderful sobs of delight.
“Y-yes. I do.”
Thursday cannot get here soon enough.
I’m ready—ready for him to teach me the last thing there is to teach me. Well, maybe not the last, but the most important. The one thing that will solidify our love for good. Bind us together.
I want to watch his face as it happens. Hear what he says when he enters me and memorize it so I can write it down later.
Because no matter what he teaches me, that’s the girl I always will be: the girl who writes things down.
And there’s no way I’m not going to skip the most important thing that’s ever happened to me.
Thursday cannot get here soon enough.