Chapter 30 What Exactly Would You Miss About Him?
"I can't forget it! I'll never forget it for the rest of my life!"
Elsa struggled wildly in Alexander's arms.
She was a living person, not a corpse.
She had seen things with her own eyes and heard them with her own ears. How could he tell her to erase them?
When they reached home, Alexander carried her straight into the second-floor master bedroom.
His phone had been vibrating constantly.
With one hand still holding Elsa's wrist, he picked it up with the other.
"I had a meeting with the president of Thames Group this morning," he said, trying to reason with her. "I've already missed it. Stop fighting me for five minutes while I return the call."
Elsa snatched the phone from his hand and threw it across the room.
"If you want me to stop, buy me emergency contraception."
No matter what happened, she refused to risk pregnancy.
Alexander stared at the phone lying near the wall for several seconds and made no move to pick it up.
Instead, he stood in front of Elsa and held both her wrists.
His voice was as gentle as he could make it.
"Even with Serena and her son here, they won't affect your position in the Horton family. They won't affect our marriage."
Elsa was so pale that she looked ill.
Even speaking seemed to cost her strength.
"Alexander, they have already affected my marriage."
Her voice shook. "If they hadn't come back, even if my husband didn't love me, at least he wouldn't have missed our third wedding anniversary."
"If they hadn't come back, my husband wouldn't abandon me over and over again while sitting beside another woman's hospital bed pretending to be her husband."
"If they hadn't come back, my husband wouldn't humiliate me in front of my coworkers and take away the last bit of dignity I had left."
"Elsa!"
Alexander cut her off before she could continue.
He pulled her into his arms and held her tightly.
"Elsa, believe me. I have a responsibility toward Serena and her son, but it isn't what you think."
Elsa cried so hard her whole body shook.
"Alexander, a person's heart is only so big. It can't hold everyone. You said yourself that you owe them and that you'll take responsibility for them to the end. Then let me go. I'm willing to step aside."
Her voice cracked. "You know I love you. If you force me to keep living inside a relationship that makes me feel like I can't breathe, I really will die."
Alexander's arms tightened around her.
"You won't. As long as you stop imagining the worst, we'll be fine."
Elsa was too tired to continue.
"Let me take the medicine, and I'll stop."
Alexander struggled with the decision for a long time before finally buying emergency contraception for her.
If taking it would calm her down, he would let her have her way.
He wasn't in any hurry to have a child anyway.
After Elsa swallowed the pill and lay down, she finally became quiet.
Alexander pulled the blanket over her. "I called Violet. She's coming to stay with you. I need to go out."
Elsa said nothing.
Alexander turned to leave.
Her eyes slowly closed.
"I actually knew three years ago that you didn't marry me because you loved me," she whispered. "I was the one who kept hoping for more. That was my mistake."
Alexander stopped.
He turned back toward the bed.
Elsa was lying there far too quietly.
The panic and pain that flashed through his eyes were emotions he might not even have recognized in himself.
Worried her emotions might spiral again, Alexander waited until Violet arrived before leaving.
At noon, inside a private room on the third floor of Crown Club, Lucas stopped Alexander from opening a third bottle of liquor.
"By the time you put a paternity report in front of your grandfather, even a lie will become the truth. What are you going to do when Serena and her son start demanding a real place in the family?"
Alexander leaned forward, elbows braced on his knees. He looked exhausted.
"If I don't do this, Grandpa will never leave them alone. Serena's life was already ruined because of me. I can't let her and her son be hurt again. I owe her that."
He rubbed his brow. "Besides, Serena isn't that kind of person. I trust her. She already promised that once she's better, I'll help her find a school far away for the boy so they won't interfere with my life with Elsa."
Lucas didn't bother softening his words.
"Alexander, morality has never been enough to control you. There are a hundred ways to compensate Serena, and you chose the one that hurts everyone."
He continued, "You still have feelings for Serena. You still resent your grandfather for separating you. I can understand those emotions. What I can't understand is why you think that gives you the right to destroy Elsa."
Lucas leaned back. "If Elsa has made one mistake, it's loving you too much. If you still can't let Serena go, then let Elsa go. Go play stepfather to someone else's kid if that's what you want."
Alexander's answer was immediate. "I'll help Serena and her son to the end. But I'm not divorcing Elsa."
Lucas sighed. "You're not going to like this, but divorce her. I feel sorry for the girl just looking at her."
Alexander lifted his eyes. "She's my wife. She doesn't need your pity."
Lucas spread his hands. "Brother, don't be so confident. Elsa treated you like her salvation, and you've been pushing her straight into hell. One day she's going to leave you."
Alexander drank deeply from his glass.
"She's reacting so strongly because what I said in the study hurt her. She's loved me for all these years. She won't really be able to walk away."
Lucas stared at him as though he'd just heard something unbelievable.
"What exactly would she miss about you?"
"Would she miss you lying about business trips while you were actually with your precious first love and her son?"
"Would she miss getting a wedding anniversary gift that you also gave Serena?"
"Would she miss her married husband staying out all night?"
"Would she miss you abandoning her when she was sick so you could sit beside Serena's hospital bed and act like her husband?"
"Or would she miss you playing daddy to another woman's child and spending marital assets on Serena's house, car, driver, and servants?"
Alexander had no answer.
He only kept drinking.
Lucas delivered the verdict. "At the rate you're going, the regret is going to burn you to ashes."
At that moment, Alexander's phone vibrated on the table.
He checked the screen and reached for his coat.
Lucas blocked him. "Elsa is already falling apart over this, and you're still going to see Serena?"
"She's being discharged this afternoon," Alexander said. "I need to go. There are things I have to make clear to her."
Lucas gave him a look that said he was beyond saving.
Then Lucas went to find Violet and Elsa.
Violet had only just managed to coax Elsa downstairs when he arrived.
Elsa forced a weak smile when she saw him.
Lucas rubbed the top of her head. "If you can't smile, don't. You look terrible when you force it."
The tears Elsa had barely stopped immediately fell again.
Elsa and Violet had grown up together, and Elsa had been engaged to Alexander since childhood.
Lucas and Alexander had also been inseparable since they were boys.
The four of them had, in their own way, grown up side by side.
Lucas had always treated Elsa and Violet like younger sisters. Elsa had always looked at him like an older brother.
He had watched her take every step that eventually led her to Alexander.
Now the three of them sat side by side on the sofa, Elsa in the middle.
Lucas had come intending to persuade her to calm down.
But one look at her exhausted face destroyed that plan.
"Elsa," he said softly, "listen to your brother for once. If this marriage can still be fought for, fight. If it can't, leave."