Chapter 16
Keelie
Somethings up.
Aercek is naturally less talkative than Ahstahl, but he was almost eerily silent and introspective after his wrist comm went off before we ate supper.
He and Ashtahl are being quiet, but the fact that they slipped into their own language means it’s something serious.
Anxiety starts building the longer they talk in low tones, and somehow, I know they’re talking about leaving.
Getting to know them has been wonderful.
They’ve filled the deep well of loneliness I’ve had since Wayne died, and the last several days have been some of the best I’ve had in the last two years.
At my request, neither of them has brought up any more sensitive or deep topics of conversation.
Instead, they’ve filled our days with stories about growing up on their planet, amusing anecdotes, and the basic getting to know one another information.
Aercek has been completely transparent about Rahyk and Luulae.
The first time he brought them up in casual conversation, Ahstahl tripped and almost face-planted into a tree; he was so shocked.
That tells me how deadly serious Aercek is about me being his second chance.
He doesn’t want anything to prevent me from choosing them, even if it hurts to talk about his loss.
Honestly, the emotional vulnerability he’s shown gave me the courage to open up about Wayne.
Ahstahl remained mostly silent during those talks, but was never far away, ensuring he was close in case one of us needed support.
It’s been cathartic for both Aercek and me, and I’ve gotten a lot of closure out of speaking to someone who understands my grief.
Last night, after I went to bed, I evaluated what it would mean to take a leap of faith and leave Earth with them.
Both my parents and Wayne’s parents are deceased.
Neither of us has siblings, and I distanced myself from all our couple friends because it was too painful to be the third or fifth wheel at every social gathering after Wayne died.
My conclusion was… There really isn’t anyone to miss me or grieve for me if I were to disappear on my annual camping trip.
Anything could happen out here, and on top of that, it’s a long drive from my home in Texas.
Sure, there are a few friends who would be sad, but I didn’t ever have that typical “best friend” or friend group.
I had Wayne. In reality, there are only a few keepsakes at home that I can’t see myself leaving without, but other than that, there isn’t anything here left for me to miss.
What do I really have to lose? If the last several days are anything to go by, Aercek and Ahsthal are going to treat me like spun glass and with the utmost care. They’ve been clear about how mates are treated on their planet and how their culture is based around respecting females.
More importantly, do I want to lose how they make me feel?
After a moment, I decide I don’t.
Wayne wouldn’t want me to be alone for the rest of my life, and after experiencing what it’s like to be with Aercek and Ahstahl, I don’t want to go back to a cold, empty existence. The only other thing that worries me is sex.
The only person I’ve ever been with was Wayne, and while we weren’t exactly vanilla, it was still two humans having sex.
Not one human and two creatures from a sci-fi romance novel.
Aercek and Ahstahl have been scrupulously polite and haven’t tried to instigate any sort of physical or sexual gestures.
The few times they’ve touched me, it’s been hesitant as well as platonic.
It’s clear they’ve been terrified of doing something wrong lest I have another panic attack or feel pressured into something.
Taking a deep breath, I reach for twenty seconds of bravery.
“Hey guys, y’all wanna clue me in on what you’re talking about?”