Chapter 7
“Sir, we were unable to procure the list of attendees from last week’s event,” Inho, one of the Eumia members still located on Synastry, said as soon as Sarang picked up the call.
He cursed as he dried off from the shower, then wrapped the towel tight around his waist and wiped the steam off the mirror.
“Turns out the Wardrobe was recently added to the White Frost’s businesses,” the other alpha continued. “For obvious reasons, the staff there weren’t cooperative with us. Should we go back and insist?”
“No.” It’d been a long shot anyway. He stared at his reflection, noting how the hot water from the shower had done nothing to ease the tension from his shoulders or between his brow. He’d been like this ever since his rut, twisted and on edge. It was the omega’s fault.
He’d been too good. That weekend had been the best Sarang had ever experienced, and after a few days’ deliberation, he’d finally caved and decided to seek the other man out. If he could claim the omega he’d slept with, then that could be the end of this fucked up obsession he had with the prince.
The omega had been enough like Shiloh physically, Sarang could be satisfied.
There was no telling about the personality, but beggar’s couldn’t be choosers, and at this point, Sarang was desperate.
He’d take a stand-in over being alone, and every day keeping himself from reaching out and sinking his teeth into Shiloh’s neck…
it was torture. If he locked himself to another, those feelings would end.
His instincts would be satisfied.
Only, in order to do that, he had to find him first.
They hadn’t exchanged names, and he hadn’t gotten a look at the omega’s face.
There was literally nothing for him to go off of, no clues, other than getting the list of names from the Wardrobe itself.
Everyone who came for Den Night had to sign contracts waving their rights while participating on the floor.
Even his name was on that list, so of course the omega he’d bedded would be.
But if the Wardrobe now belonged to the White Frost, their biggest rival, there was no way they were going to simply hand it over, and if Sarang insisted and caused trouble, it could come back on the Eumia.
They had enough going on looking for Elm, they didn’t need him adding to their problems, especially not over something like this.
It was on Sarang to manage his misplaced feelings for the prince. It was bad enough that he’d been unable to shake them, but the more time he spent with Shiloh, the deeper into things he got, especially when Shiloh lost composure and got bratty.
If things were different, Sarang would have tried coaxing that side out of him more often, but his position as the underboss prevented him from doing so.
The extreme difference in their social standing, coupled with the fact that Shiloh was too classy to handle how Sarang liked things in the bedroom were two reasons he’d resisted.
The other reason, his greatest secret and shame, was arguably even more important.
Sarang had already formed a life-bond with the prince against his will. How could he possibly dare wish for more? These yearnings were wrong.
His desire to own and consume someone as delicate as Shiloh was wrong.
The worst part was how the prince looked at him.
It was clear Shiloh thought Sarang was a saint.
Viewed him as a good and moral person. But the truth was, Sarang was alpha, and just like every other alpha, he craved his omega’s touch.
If not for fear of breaking him holding him back, Sarang would have done something about it by now, consequences be damned.
Sarang refused to be like his father.
Linking them through the bond had at least been an accident.
Marking Shiloh wouldn’t be.
The bite technically had to be accepted by the omega as well. Sarang risked losing everything if he tried dominating Shiloh only to be rejected. And that was if he remained in his right mind enough to take a rejection.
Coercion was pretty common when it came to the claiming mark. Since the dawn of time, alphas had blackmailed, threatened, and manipulated omega submission.
Sarang was confident he could force Shiloh to accept the bond once he had his darling omega trapped on his cock, but…in the end, neither of them would be happy.
Shiloh cared for him, he knew, but it wasn’t love.
The omega deserved to be claimed by someone he loved. Deserved rose petals and soft, slow lovemaking.
When Sarang entered a rut, it was like all the carefully pent-up aggression he was able to hide regularly flared to life and exploded out of him.
He couldn’t recall a single hookup in the past four years where he hadn’t inadvertently torn the omega he was with.
His cock was larger than most, his stamina great, and when those two things were added to his internal struggles for control, his frustrations turned into violence.
In his defense, he’d never gotten any complaints.
The omegas he slept with where always also in heat.
The two of them were only together to offer a service and help each other through the debilitating mating period.
Even when it’d ended, and he’d gotten dressed while they still lay boneless and aching in bed, they’d all thanked him for his services.
But Shiloh…
Shiloh would never be able to handle that.
He overreacted about bug bites, and shut down whenever Sarang tried to discuss anything serious.
Sarang understood that last one, at least, knowing how traumatic this past year had been for the prince, but it only helped bolster his belief that showing his true self to Shiloh would be a mistake.
The last thing Sarang wanted was to become another traumatic experience. Another thing the omega couldn’t talk about. The thought of Shiloh no longer being able to look him in the eye, of him cowering away when Sarang was near, was enough to tear his heart out of his chest.
That day when he’d created the life-bond against both of their wills, he’d sworn an oath. He would keep Shiloh safe from everything and anything.
Including himself.
Finding a compatible omega at Den Night was like a gift from the heavens.
Since it was impossible for him to be with the prince, he could try diverting that attention to someone else.
Someone more suitable to his alpha needs.
This way, he could keep Shiloh safe and satisfy the raw possessiveness he couldn’t shake.
“I know someone,” Inho said after a moment of silence. “She used to be a member there. I can ask for her help?”
He didn’t want to drag his friend into this, but Sarang felt like he was losing his mind.
Ever since that weekend with the unknown omega, he’d been unable to be around the prince without getting semi-hard. Just one whiff of him was enough to call to his alpha nature. It was like his body hadn’t gotten the memo that the omega he’d fucked may have smelled like Shiloh, but wasn’t him.
Sarang was worried he’d forget himself and deliver the bite before he could be stopped, and then what? He’d destroy his life, betray the prince who he owed everything to, and no doubt be murdered by Kian.
Shiloh was too good to be forced into a loveless bond.
Though he’d grown up in the mafia, he was meek, constantly protected by others.
Even if there’d been no baby, Sarang still beat himself up over the fact he wasn’t with Shiloh that day he was attacked in the corn maze. A broken rib was still painful.
Sloane didn’t require nearly as much care, and whenever Sarang asked about their differences, he was told Shiloh hadn’t taken to his training the same was as his sister.
He could believe that. Though the prince wasn’t skilled in combat, he was stubborn, refusing to partake in anything he wasn’t interested in. He’d been talking back more and more, an act of defiance Sarang had sickly found himself turned on by.
It was getting harder to resist.
“Do it and get back to me.” He ended the call with Inho before he could talk himself out of it, his instincts already trying to argue that no one could ever replace the real thing.
Using getting dressed as a distraction, Sarang took his time getting into the clothes he’d laid out for himself.
He’d agreed to this birthday dinner with Shiloh, and was admittedly excited for it, despite all of his thoughts about putting space between them.
A more intimate meal was romantic, definitely a step above the group party Kian had wanted to throw him.
He’d already made his way downstairs and had just entered the parking garage when his multi-slate rang again, this time showing his sister’s name flashing across the screen.
“Yuna, is everything all right?”
“Can’t I just call my big brother?” her lyrical voice came through the line, instantly easing some of the tension in Sarang’s shoulders.
At ten years apart, their relationship was more that of a parent and child than siblings.
This was especially the case since their Gray father had run off less than a year after Yuna had been born.
The bastard had formed a life-bond with someone other than their alpha mother in one reckless moment of weakness that had caused all of them to suffer—and not just in the obvious ways.
Sarang had an aversion to the bond now, a trauma made all the more real that day fate had introduced him to a bleeding omega in the throes of heat.
“How is mom? Is rehab still going well?” Thanks to his job with the Eumia, he’d been able to hire help for back home. They’d sold off most of the farm during hard times, but had been able to keep a decent amount of land surrounding their cottage after he’d agreed to join the mafia at Shiloh’s side.
An agreement he hadn’t really had a choice in, in more ways than one.
If the prince ever found out about Sarang’s secret, would he still cling to him like he did now, or would he reject him and have him stripped of his position?