Chapter 23 #2
“I can protect myself,” he stated. “That isn’t the same. It’s not the same as having someone bring me a coat when it’s cold. Or hold an umbrella over my head when it’s raining. Buying myself cake isn’t the same as someone giving it to me.”
“Anyone can do those things,” the alpha pointed out. “Bishop—”
“I can order anyone else to do them,” Shiloh said. “I’ve never ordered you to do any of it. I didn’t have to.”
He’d thought for sure as soon as his wounds had healed, the alpha would stop being so thoughtful toward him. But that never happened. Even after Shiloh’s injuries were gone, Sarang had still treated him with warmth.
“We’d clearly slept together that night we first met, but you never came on to me again, and never brought it up.” It was clear now what had actually happened. Sarang had healed Shiloh, which had taken so much energy, he’d been unable to resist the pull of heat any longer.
“I don’t remember,” the alpha told him.
“I know. Neither do I.”
“Was that it then? Have you been curious about what it was like, trying to jog your memories?”
“It was obsession,” Shiloh told him. “Not the forgotten sex. The way I felt like I didn’t have to be guarded around you.
Believe it or not, in the beginning, I was content with just that.
Just having you by my side. But then I got greedy.
Obsession turned to possessiveness, and that fed my insecurities.
I’ve never been worthy of anyone’s affection, Rang.
What if one day you woke up and realized that I wasn’t worthy of yours?
I was scared that I might lose that warmth, and there was only one thing I could think of to ensure that never happened. ”
“That’s why you want my bite.” It was impossible to tell what the alpha was feeling now, but Shiloh pressed on.
“Yes.” He’d realized he couldn’t handle losing him, especially not to someone else.
That there was always the possibility that Sarang might find another, fall for them, and try to leave.
There was no escaping a mated pair. An alpha wouldn’t run from their claimed omega.
“I see the error in my judgement. If you’re trying to lead me to that truth, there’s no need. ”
“Oh?”
“It’s the same as it is with love,” Shiloh figured. “Just like how you don’t need to love me to claim me, you don’t need to like me to do it either. Even if I’d successfully gotten you to bite me in the parking garage, we would have ended up exactly where we are now, wouldn’t we have?”
“We would,” Sarang confirmed. “You can’t build anything real on lies, omega. Especially not a lifelong partnership. But that’s why we’re here.”
Shiloh didn’t understand.
“We’re here to rebuild, so that when I do finally give you the bite, there’s no longer any misunderstanding between the two of us.”
“…You’re planning to give me the bite? Really?” He hadn’t just been saying that to get Shiloh to play along and remain still?
“You won’t be allowed to go on murder sprees to release that pent up tension anymore,” Sarang said. “If you feel an itch for violence building, you’ll inform me, and we’ll deal with it together, be that in the bedroom, or out in the field.”
“I never killed innocents.”
“I know that.”
“It matters?”
“It does.”
Shiloh had thought as much, but he’d never been certain. Since he usually wasn’t the type to bother playing things safe, he was beyond grateful that he had with this. Though, mostly it’d been to avoid drawing unwanted legal attention to the Eumia.
“You don’t want me to hate you because I’m the only one who’s ever treated you like you’re a person with thoughts and feelings. You like that I take care of you, how it makes you feel. You like being good for me, don’t you, omega?” Sarang’s tone shifted slightly, turning silky and suggestive.
The alpha stepped around the bed, pulled a marble from his pocket, and then tossed it to the ground in Shiloh’s direction.
Shiloh dropped to his knees to get it, snatching it off the floor. He brushed the dust off and held it up to the light, pleased with the yellow sparkle.
“You’re the prince. Shouldn’t it bother you to kneel before me?” Sarang asked.
“Why should it?” He shrugged. “My mother was all pride and unhappy right up until the day she died. Unlike her, I’m not afraid to make myself look the fool to get what I want.”
“You want happiness?”
“Who doesn’t?”
“What does that look like in your head, omega?”
“You, alpha.” Shiloh stood.
“What if I kept you in this room forever?”
“I would like something to do,” he said. “But otherwise? Okay.”
“Okay?”
“So long as you keep coming here like you have been.” Shiloh would do anything to see him. Give up anything. “Did you not realize that part already?”
Sarang frowned. “I don’t follow.”
“You trapped me the day you brought me home. These walls are no different from the invisible ones you erected back then. I may have lied and manipulated throughout the years, but that was only to ensure you never tried dropping the leash. There’s no physical collar around my neck, but you’ve owned me from the start.
Even when you refused to be my alpha, I have always been your omega. ”
Shiloh had pictured himself that way and had acted accordingly. Refusing the attention of others, aside from when he’d gotten desperate and tried that whole fake relationship with Lane.
Something flashed across Sarang’s face. “The breeding den. If not for me—”
“If I didn’t already have an alpha,” Shiloh figured out where he was going with this, “I probably would have enjoyed it. The Leviathan is skilled at eliciting both pleasure and pain. I might have even hunted him down and asked for another round, seen if he could be rougher, if things were different. Is that gross?”
“You’re bothered by the experience because you—”
“I was afraid you wouldn’t want me after learning I was bred by someone else.”
“Have you realized that isn’t the case?” Sarang pressed.
“Yes.”
“Since I wanted your honesty, I won’t punish you for basically telling me to my face that you enjoyed being forced onto another man’s knot.”
Oh shit.
Shiloh opened his mouth, but Sarang wasn’t done.
“Get on the bed, omega.”
He could have argued, but what would have been the point? They both knew he wasn’t good at playing hard to get, and that no matter what the alpha intended, Shiloh would allow it to happen.
Shiloh crawled onto the mattress and reached for the bed tray, blinking when his wrist was captured in a strong grip before he could pick up the fork.
“No.” Sarang released him long enough to move the tray to the end table, then he planted a knee onto the bed and hauled himself up.
In one swift move, he had Shiloh on his back, and was situating himself between his spread thighs.
“You’re being rewarded for your honesty.
The cake isn’t a gift. I feed it to you because I want to. Now, I’ll give you something you want.”
Shiloh wanted the cake, but he wasn’t about to ruin the moment.
The alpha was fully clothed, but there was no mistaking the hard bulge in his pants, and Shiloh’s dick responded in tune, lengthening proudly between them.
This time, he didn’t bother covering himself up, lying there while the alpha’s hot gaze roamed over his body, taking him in.
It was not the look of someone who was disgusted.
“We’re going to play another game.” Sarang began smoothing his palms up and down the sensitive skin of Shiloh’s inner thighs, pressing them further apart in the process. “So long as you keep answering my questions truthfully, I’ll keep going. The second I sense a lie, however…”
Shiloh shook his head against the pillow, anticipation bubbling over. Precome leaked from his slit, the musky smell of his juices, and the spike in his pheromones, impossible to miss. “I won’t lie to you, alpha. Not again.”
“Never again,” he corrected, and Shiloh nodded.
“Never.”
Sarang’s left hand slid up slowly, until his pointer finger was flush against the root of Shiloh’s dick. His thumb pressed lightly against his sack, massaging him in slow, circular motions until Shiloh moaned for him.
“It’s an unfair game,” the alpha told him suddenly. “There are questions you won’t have the answers to. Things you’ll lie about without realizing it’s a lie. Still want to play, omega?”
“What’s the alternative?” he risked asking, only for Sarang to grunt.
“I pull away and we take out the deck of cards.”
He scrunched up his nose. “Absolutely not.”
“Sick of cards?”
“Those types of games are boring.”
“Only because I told you you weren’t allowed to cheat,” Sarang said.
He wasn’t wrong.
“Seems like you know me well enough now,” Shiloh replied. “Is this really necessary?”
“Want me to stop?”
“Forgive me, alpha.”
“For which part? Being a brat right or…” He moved to swirl his thumb over Shiloh’s wet tip, laughing when his hips jerked from just that light touch. “Focus. I’m asking a question.”
“What?” Shiloh blinked at him, trying to clear his mind and ignore the way his lower region screamed for attention.
It’d been so long since he’d been touched. He wasn’t sure he’d be able to last.
“Do you want to be forgiven for deceiving me, or for being a brat?” Sarang gave one pump of his fist, then stilled with his fingers wrapped around his crown, waiting.
“Both.”
“You won’t be taking my cock today.”
Shiloh paused, considered, and then decided, “Still both.”
“Good.” Sarang smiled, then tightened his fist. “Fuck my hand.”
“What?”
“Use me. Isn’t that what you’ve always done?”
“No.” Shiloh grabbed the alpha’s wrist, but a low growl had him instantly releasing it and returning his arm to his side. He twisted his fingers in the sheet. “I never thought of it that way.”
“I’m your employee.”
“You’re my alpha,” Shiloh corrected firmly.
Sarang seemed to be considering those words, then he hummed. “Take your pleasure from your alpha’s hand then, omega. Show me you’re willing to work for it.”