Chapter Ten
Kas
She loves me. She fucking loves me, and she was the one who pulled the trigger first. I’ve been wanting to say it for a couple weeks but was so scared I was going to lose her. To scare her off. Instead, I saw her take on my mother, the woman whose shadow has caused nothing but nightmares for me. She did that for me. It had to be the sexiest thing I”ve ever seen.
We hung out on Sunday with our friends on the beach. Played in the water, and I even got to rub sun lotion all over my girl. I had to place her on my lap to hide my reaction from everyone standing around. Pretty sure I wasn”t fooling anyone, especially since Grayson seemed to be in the same boat as me. Riley seemed out of it all day yesterday, but when I got him alone, he told me it was nothing to worry about. I wanted to push, but if you push him too far, he closes up like one of the dusty old books he likes to read.
Tonight, I”m dead on my feet. We just finished a long day of work and all I want to do is shower and hold my fairy in my arms. As we shower together in the tiny shower in the apartment, I can”t help but love this life. It feels so normal. We got every bit of Tony and Barb”s things out of the apartment, so it”s officially ours, and I couldn”t be happier. The one cloud hanging over our heads is the end of summer. It”s getting closer with each breath we take; I can even see it taking a toll on Grayson and Harper. I know Charli and I will have to figure these things out, but I”m so hesitant to burst that bubble.
“So I need to talk to you about something,” Charli says nervously as we finish dinner at our small kitchen table. It only fits two chairs, but it”s perfect. We found it in the back storage shed when we were moving things. Tony said it was one of the original diner tables, and we could have it. It”s not pretty to look at with its wood paneling finish, but it”s ours.
“Of course, Fairy. Shoot,” I say, taking my last bite.
“I need to go back home.”
I choke on that last bite. Did I fuck this up already? Holy shit, what did I do? I…
“Stop that right now, before you think it was anything you did. I don”t mean for good, but I need to talk to my parents. I need to get the rest of my stuff and tie up all the loose ends of my old life,” she tells me, and I feel like I can breathe again.
“Oh, okay. I’ll go with you,” I say, shrugging like it”s a no-brainer.
“Actually, I was kind of thinking I should go alone.” She winces at her statement, and it makes me angry.
“After the hell you gave me to get me to let you go with me, you”re really going to ask me to stay behind now?” I want to keep the anger out of my voice, but in the back of my head, all I can think about is maybe she”s embarrassed of me. I wince at the thought and have to know. I need to know now if she is embarrassed because if she is, she might as well ride back to Georgia with my heart in tow and stay there. I won”t be with someone who isn”t all in. I know what I want now, and it”s not to hide. So instead of worrying about it for the rest of my damn life, I decide to ask her straight out.
“Are you embarrassed of me? Is that why you don”t want me going with you?” I can”t look at her. Voicing my fear is enough, but I can”t make eye contact. Instead, I stare out of the window.
“What!? Of course not, Kas!” she says, jumping from her chair and rushing over to me. “Look at me, baby.” She uses her hands to turn my face in her direction.
“If I was embarrassed by anyone, it wouldn’t be you. I would be proud to introduce you to them, but it”s them who I’m embarrassed by. The main reason I said I should go by myself was actually because you couldn”t get off work. With Mitch hurting his hip, Tony can”t afford to lose you right now. Harper is leaving tomorrow. I figured I could ride back with her, say goodby to my parents, pack up my bags and car, and head home to you. We have a lot of things to prepare for before you start back at school.” She smiles at me, and I relax completely. Knowing she wants me to go makes this easier, and knowing she”s also right about the diner kills me. I’m already worried about Tony and the diner when I head back to school, but he told me he”s looking to hire another cook. As long as I can finish out the summer, he should be good. Still, I sigh, not liking the idea of her leaving.
“Fine. I get it, I really do, but I still don”t like it. I should be there to help you pack and move all your heavy shit,” I tell her, making her laugh. “I don”t know that I’ll be able to sleep without you in my arms.”
“I’m going to miss you so much,” Charli says, tearing up. I hold her close for a little longer before deciding to call it an early night and take her to bed.
This time, I take it slow; I cherish her body, and she lets me, soaking up every moment of praise and adoration I pour onto and into her. She knows this will be our last night together for a while, and we both need this connection.
The next day comes all too soon, and before I know it, I’m standing there with Charli in my arms as she and Harper get ready to set out. I want to hold her forever, and as I look over her head and see my best friend, I see that same heartbreak and thought in his eyes. I give him a nod in sympathy, and we pull back from the girls. I hear Harper sobbing but don”t take my eyes off Charli. I wipe a tear from her cheek before leaning down and kissing her softly.
“Come home to me,” I whisper against her lips.
“Always,” she says before turning and rushing to the car. I understand why she’s doing it. If she stays much longer, I don”t think I”ll be able to let her go. As we watch them drive away, I feel my heart nearly break for the second time this summer.
“Fuck!” Grayson shouts as we watch our girls drive away again. I just nod my head in agreement. I know this is harder on him. It could be months before he sees Harper again. At Least this time, I know she”s coming back. Or I at least hope she is. The thoughts flood in the longer we stand here and watch.
What if this was all her way of getting away clean and free? What if she really didn”t want to hurt my feelings? Or worse, what if she gets back home and her parents talk her into staying? They could convince her how stupid of an idea it would be to throw her college career away to run away and live with some guys. It sounds irresponsible. If Charli was in the least bit interested in her studies or wanted to get her degree in law, I would never ask her to move. Hell, I would move to her and figure my life out, but I want her to go to art school. To draw for the rest of our days if that makes her happy.
“Want to meet up with the guys? I need something to take my mind off this shitty ass day.” Grayson asks. I shrug, not really feeling up to being around people, but what’s worse than that is returning home.
Returning to our little studio apartment has seemed like a paradise since the last box was taken out. Now, without Charli, it seems more like an empty space full of bittersweet memories, kind of like my heart.