Chapter 4
ALEXIS
“Hey, Sexy Lexie, looking good, baby!” Justin, one of the guys from my class, calls out, already in his cap and gown.
I try not to cringe at the nickname bestowed on me last year.
Ironically, it was the last time I let myself believe dear ol’ dad would show up like he said he would.
When he hadn’t, I decided to stick it to him.
It was my junior year and I had been asked to prom by a senior, who also was the captain of the baseball team, and all around popular and sexy.
At nearly six feet tall with blonde hair and blue eyes, Connor was your typical All-American boy.
When he asked me, I nearly peed my pants.
Marcee and I spent weeks searching for the perfect dresses.
Marcee ended up with a dark green silk ballroom gown with a sweetheart neckline.
On the taller side for a female at five-foot-seven, the shape suited her perfectly.
Paired with her gorgeous olive skin, thick dark hair that had a natural beach wave, and to-die-for green eyes that matched the dress, she was stunning.
Where hers had been princess like, mine had been sexy and revealing.
It was fire-engine red with an open back.
At only a couple inches over five feet, I had opted for a more fitted dress as any pouf swallowed me whole.
I’m a stark contrast to Marcee, having a more golden complexion and blonde hair that is straight as a pin.
My eyes are light brown, and fade to green around the edges.
Although not an exciting color, I love the shift from brown to green, and I swear they are like a built-in mood ring.
When I'm mad, they look completely brown; if I have been crying, the brown seems washed away and gives them more of a light green appearance. But most of the time, they’re boring old brown.
Luckily, I hired a makeup artist to teach me a few tricks to accentuate my eyes and now people love to remark about how striking they are.
The open back of my dress showed off plenty of skin, and I shiver as I remember the feeling of Connor's hands on my bare skin while we danced. But it was the slit in the skirt that gave it real spice, going all the way up my thigh to my hip. If I stood with my legs together, it wasn’t even noticeable, but I loved the way my leg peeked out when I walked.
I felt gorgeous in that dress, relishing every inch of exposed skin.
When everyone met for pictures, all the parents were hovering and snapping photos non-stop.
Craning my neck, I searched for my dad but had no luck spotting him.
Worried, I checked my phone for the hundredth time, and this time, I found a text waiting.
Dad:
Sorry Alexis, something came up at work. Have a blast and I'll see you Monday for dinner.
My blood boiled, and tears pricked behind my eyes.
How dare he do this to me! He thinks he can just push me aside like I’m nothing?
My rushing thoughts stalled as I caught Marcee watching me closely and her face said it all.
She knew he wasn’t coming, and her stare held such pity, I almost gave in to the tears.
Instead, I made a few calls and set up a huge after-party at my dad’s place, then spread the word.
That night, I let Connor lead me into my dad’s room and gave him my virginity.
It had felt so daring and rebellious, and Connor had spent all night going on and on about how gorgeous I was and how I needed to come see him at college next year.
His words filled a void in me like a balm to the hurt from my dad’s abandonment.
As soon as the bedroom door closed, we slammed into each other, clothes peeled off and toppled onto the bed.
He showered me with kisses, praising my body, okay, not my body, my tits, but he was a teenage boy, so no surprise there.
When he lined himself up with my entrance, I had never felt more beautiful.
Connor sunk into me with one rough thrust. Unable to stifle the cry of pain at the abrupt intrusion, I had given away just how inexperienced I was.
He froze, staring into my eyes with his face lighting up like I was the most precious thing alive.
All pain forgotten, or at least not acknowledged, his moans quickly grew louder then he shouted my name and came inside me.
My eyes went wide as I realized he hadn’t used a condom.
It was over so quickly, I didn’t even have time to process that, but it was fine that it was quick since it kind of hurt.
I knew it would, but I also knew it would be better the next time, so I didn’t care much, not with Connor looking at me like I was his everything.
When I brought up the condom, he laughed, saying, “Nah, baby, I’m too big for those things! ”
He wasn’t—not even close.
We went back down to the party and Connor went to get us drinks.
Within minutes, people were staring at me and whispering.
Panicking, I looked down at my dress then fiddled with my hair.
I had checked the mirror before leaving my dad’s room and didn’t think it was obvious what had happened, but the way people were staring, I was sure my tit had to be out or something.
Marcee ran to my side, grabbing both my hands and searching my eyes. “Oh, Lexie,” she breathed, but whatever she was about to say next was lost as a few of the baseball players came over.
“Well, well, well, if it isn’t Sexy Lexie!
Hear you spread those legs of yours for Connor.
If you ever want to ride a real man, give me a call.
” He grabbed his crotch before pinching my ass as they walked off laughing.
My eyes met Connor’s, betrayal pouring through me.
That little fucker toasted me with the red solo cup in his hand then started laughing.
By Monday, the whole school was talking about him popping my cherry and saying I was an easy lay.
Huddling in the bathroom, I cried through all of first period.
A senior girl, that I recognized as one of the cheerleaders, burst into the stall I was crying in.
She handed me a paper towel and said, “What’s done is done.
Do not let that fucker see you crumble. Pull your shit together and give Connor a big middle finger as you walk with your head held high.
If you let that douche win, I will personally kick your ass.
” Spinning on her heel, she walked out of the bathroom and we never spoke again.
But what she said unlocked something in me.
Sure, my parents may have abandoned me, and that asshole used me in a disgusting way, but I’m Alexis Fucking Wayfield, and this will not break me.
I did just as she suggested. I pulled it together and walked out of that bathroom like a fucking queen, chin up, shoulders thrown back, owning exactly who I was. I wore my new moniker of Sexy Lexie with pride and never let them see that it hurt.
Shaking myself out of the memory, I do the same thing I’ve done every morning since that event.
I square my shoulders and step into the limelight like nothing can touch me.
Plus, in a couple of months, Marcee and I are moving and starting college, giving me a chance to start over and lose that damn nickname.
I may have leaned into it to survive high school, but I'm more than the girl Connor used and discarded, and I'm ready to let the rest of the world see it.