Chapter 43
ALEXIS
Well, Finn definitely accomplished his mission of making sure I can feel it after we’re done.
I'm sore, in the most delicious way. Each time I feel the tiny twinge of discomfort, I'm reminded of the mind-blowing sex we had last night, and I get all hot and bothered again. Will I ever get enough of him? I’m in the kitchen raiding the cabinets for something sweet, trying not to think about the fact that tomorrow will be my last night here before I head back for school.
His phone bings on the counter; it's a calendar reminder.
That’s the new French restaurant that just opened.
It’s supposed to be very elegant and romantic.
Shit. Is he seeing someone else? Is he still planning to see her?
Jealousy rips through me at the idea of him with another woman.
I sat around pining for him for the last two months.
Was he dating? Of course he was, what woman wouldn’t want him?
She’s probably closer to his age, with a career and more sophisticated than I am.
Shit, shit, shit.
All thoughts of food forgotten, I grab my shoes and head out the door needing to run, move, do something before I spiral into a full-blown panic attack.
I vaguely register Finn calling my name as I take off through the yard at a pace I only reserve for my most intense workouts.
The beach and random people pass by in a blur, my lungs burning, but I don’t care, and I do not ease up.
If anything, I push harder, fueled by the riot of emotions that I can’t process—anger, confusion, heartbreak—all clogging my throat and seizing up my chest. My legs scream for me to stop, but I push on.
My foot clips a rock and I stumble, falling to my knees, my hands sinking into the wet sand, doubled over as the tears break free.
Behind me, I hear footsteps pounding on the sand, rushed and closing in.
Somewhere in the back of my mind, I know it's Finn.
A wave of embarrassment and vulnerability slams into me as he drops beside me, pulling me into his arms, kissing my head.
His breathing is ragged as he pants, trying to catch his breath.
Slowly, my muscles loosen and I let myself melt into him.
“Lex.” He smooths my hair away from my face but I can’t meet his gaze. “Lex, baby, talk to me. Please, tell me what happened.”
“Who’s Julia?” My voice barely above a whisper.
“What?” He leans in closer to hear me.
“Julia, who the fuck is she, and why are you going out with her on Monday?”
“Oh, thank God,” he breathes, pulling me in tighter. I push at him, not liking the flippant response. Before I can get away, gentle hands cup my face as Finn hunches over so our faces are right in front of each other. I finally meet his eyes and see such relief my heart stutters.
“Julia is my cousin from New York. She’s in LA for a work thing and is coming through the area on Monday and wants to get lunch. She has an unhealthy obsession with all things French, so I knew I had to take her there. How did you know about that?”
Fuck.
I look around hoping for a tsunami, or a sink hole to swallow me whole. Anything to avoid him realizing I acted like a crazy, immature, jealous psychopath just now.
Gentle but firm fingers grip my chin, pulling me back to him. “No hiding, Lex.”
“I saw the calendar reminder on your phone and kinda freaked out that you were going on a date, which I know isn’t fair.
We haven’t even discussed what we’re doing here, and we weren’t doing whatever this is a few days ago, and I don’t expect you to have lived like a monk the last two months.
Just because I wasn’t getting laid, doesn’t mean you couldn’t—”
His lips crash into mine, kissing me like he can’t get enough, effectively silencing my unnecessary rambling.
“I’m sorry you saw that, and I'm sorry that I have been a coward and not talked to you about all of this. It just has been such a perfect week, and I didn’t want to broach the topic and risk losing even a second with you.
” Nodding, I lean into him again, but he shifts back so we’re face to face, holding my hands in his.
“First, I'm not seeing anyone else. I have not seen anyone else since the night you asked me to leave your place, nor do I want to see anyone else. It’s a relief to hear that you haven’t been with anyone else either.
My imagination has been running wild with all kinds of scenarios about how—and with whom—you might have spent your time.
I wouldn’t have judged you if you had…but it would’ve really hurt. ”
A small smile tugs at my lips, but I wait, letting him speak into all the fears and hurts of the past.
“Now, for the rest of it, the conversation we should’ve had months ago. I'll do whatever you want, but I want to be with you and only you.”
My throat tightens as I nod. “Me too.”
“Good, cause I have a feeling I’ll be the jealous type when it comes to you, and I don’t want to share you with anyone, ever. “
Warmth floods through my veins hearing him say exactly what I needed to hear.
“But before we get to labels and logistics, I want you to hear one thing, Alexis. I'm fucking crazy for you and have been since before we hooked up at the club. You have ruined me for all other women, you are it for me, baby.”
Tears course down my cheeks again, but this time it's from overwhelming happiness. “Finn, thank you. You…” I look away, composing myself before continuing, “I still can’t believe you want me, that you still want me after the fit I just threw. You are everything I didn’t know I needed in my life, and it has felt like I’ve been walking through the last couple of months missing a piece of myself. ”
His crystal-blue eyes are glassy with unshed tears. We kiss a soft and sweet kiss full of promises.
“Well, I had planned to show you this later but…” Shifting to pull his phone out of his pocket, he scrolls for a second before handing it to me. It’s a note to Marcee, telling her about us.
“When did you write this?”
“The night I came to your place to check on you. I wrote it hoping I would get to use it someday, clinging to the hope that I hadn’t ruined the best thing to ever happen to me.”
“Finn…” My words are wobbly as I try to rein in my emotions. “Thank you.”
With a curt nod, Finn stands and pulls me to my feet, not releasing my hand as we make our way back to his house.
“If it’s okay with you, let's wait just a little longer to tell people about us.”
He arches a brow at me, the look saying, Are you serious?
“I just needed to know it was going somewhere. I know it’s a big step, especially with Marcee, so if you want, we can wait just a little while to tell people. Just enjoy being us before the noise of everyone else's opinions and chatter join the mix.”
“Okay, but we'll tell her before Christmas, deal?” Beaming up at him, I can’t believe I got so lucky.
“Absolutely.”