Chapter 47 Finn
FINN
Alexis is less tense in the morning, but her mood is still subdued, and it physically hurts me seeing her like this. Then I think about the hurt look on my daughter’s face and overwhelming guilt settles in my gut. I need to fix this. I cannot, and will not, live without either of them.
After breakfast, I walk down the two flights of stairs to Marcee’s place, carrying a coffee and scone as peace offerings. She opens the door, frowning at me.
“Can I come in?”
“Dad. I’m too tired to do this right now. I’m meeting someone for coffee, so, yeah, I gotta get going.”
I grab her arm as she makes to pass me. “Marcee, I know I messed up, we messed up. Can we meet for dinner and talk through this, please?”
She shakes her head as she moves down the hall, pressing the elevator button with more force than necessary. I watch as the door closes on her, feeling defeated. A second later, the doors open again. “I’ll meet you, just you, for dinner tonight.” She doesn’t step out of the elevator as she speaks.
“I’ll send you details soon.” The door closes and the numbers tick down to the ground floor. With my shoulders slumped, I head back to Alexis, wishing I had better news but it’s a start.
I arrive at the restaurant thirty minutes early and am sitting at a table alone, getting sad looks from patrons that all think I’ve been stood up. God, I hope she shows up. A few minutes later, Marcee slides into the seat across from me. She isn’t smiling, but the anger seems to have cooled some.
Getting right down to business, I meet her eyes. “So, want to eat or talk first?”
“Let’s order so the poor server doesn’t have to wait on us.” We place our order then sit in awkward silence. It has never been like this between us and I'm a little out of my depth.
“Marcee. First, I'm so sorry you found out the way you did. I won’t apologize for the relationship or happiness I have found with Alexis, but we never wanted you to find out like that.”
“Relationship.” She huffs in disbelief. “Now it’s a relationship? I thought it was just sex. Fuck, Dad. What were you thinking?”
I take a deep breath to calm my nerves before speaking.
“Honestly, I don’t know when the way I saw Alexis changed.
It was slow, a little here, a little there, and then when I came back from Dubai, it hit me.
We both fought it for a long time and even ended things for a few months at the start of the year because I was afraid of what people might think… what you might think.”
She bites her lip, looking away, and I can see the wheels turning in her head as she dissects every moment since I came back.
When her eyes meet mine again, they are deep green and flashing with more anger than I have ever seen from my daughter.
“I just want to know why. Why her? Why Lexie? Why did you have to go after my best friend of all people? You could have anyone, but you end up with the one person that would hurt me. And if that’s not bad enough, now I find out it was going on for months, months, behind my back.
Did you ever plan on telling me? Or was the plan to sneak around behind my back forever, keeping me in the dark, looking like a fool? ”
Her words are like a knife in my heart, because she’s right.
Alexis was the one person who should have been off limits.
I’ve already experienced what it feels like to fail Alexis, and I’ll be damned if I let that happen between me and my daughter.
I can’t let Alexis go—I won’t. I have to make Marcee see that this is real, and somehow, we can work through this for all our sakes.
I breathe in slowly, weighing my words, knowing what I say next is crucial in repairing the rift between us.
“I know it doesn’t make sense, and it’s a shock, but I really care about her.
We never wanted to hurt you, and honestly, until recently we hadn’t even really figured out what it was we had.
The plan was to tell you sometime before Christmas.
I know it sounds like a cop-out, and you might not believe it, but we were going to tell you.
As for the ‘why her’ question. I don’t have a logical explanation for that, because what I feel for her was so unexpected and still feels a bit surreal.
It wasn’t a conscious decision, it just happened. ”
Marcee shakes her head, looking away. I can see a tiny crack in the resentment, so I continue, praying I find the right words.
“We ended things for a couple months, and during those two months apart, I was more miserable than any other time in my life. You’re all grown up, honey, and since the divorce, I’ve been alone.
I thought I was okay with that, but once I lost her, I just felt so empty and alone.
I realized too late that what we had was real and that she made me happy.
I’ll always regret hurting you, sweetie, but I promise that was never my intent. ”
Marcee’s quiet for a few seconds as tears threaten to spill from her eyes, but she sniffs them away and nods. “I don’t know if I can get used to this, whatever it is…” She waves her hand at me. “But I'll try.”
“That’s all I ask, sweetie. You know I love you more than anything else in this world, right?”
She nods, reaching for my hand. “I love you too, Dad.”
The rest of dinner is spent talking about Marcee’s classes, student teaching, and the new guy she went on a date with. It’s still a little strained, but by the time we say goodbye, it feels like we are on the mend.
Pulling out my phone, I call Alexis from the car. She answers on the first ring. “How did it go? Is Marcee okay? Did she say if she would talk to me? Finn, tell me, is it going to be okay? Fuck, are you breaking up with me?”
I try, I really try not to laugh, but I can’t help it. My poor girl is so worked up, and I might be going to hell for thinking it, but it’s adorable.
“I'll be at your place in a few minutes and will tell you everything.” She huffs a big breath at me, clearly not pleased with waiting. “Lex, everything will be fine, and don’t for one second think I'm breaking up with you. You’re stuck with me. I’m not going anywhere. It’s you and me, baby.”
“You’re amazing, Finn.” Hearing the quiver in her voice has me pressing on the accelerator, needing to get to my girl.