Chapter 51 Alexis
ALEXIS
Finn convinces Marcee to spend Christmas Eve with us at his place before we take her to the airport so she can head to Napa and spend the holiday with Vivian.
I try to hide my nerves at seeing her. We haven’t spoken since Thanksgiving and my heart is still raw from her hateful words, but I'm committed to sticking with her through this. I can’t lose her, and unless Finn walks away, I’m planning to be with him forever.
The day is kept very lowkey. We have dinner and exchange presents.
Marcee just seems off, and my gut is telling me it’s more than just the thing with Finn and me.
Standing at the sink, I watch her as she sits in a chair by the pool, staring off into the distance.
Every fiber of my being is calling me to go out there, but I don’t know if I’m welcome anymore, and after Thanksgiving, I’m terrified of what she might say.
Her knees start to jiggle and she twirls her hair. Fuck, she really is anxious or upset.
Alexis, time to put on your big girl panties and be there for your friend, even if she doesn’t want you there. You can do this; stop being a twat and walk out that door. Pep talk done, I grab a bottle of wine and head outside.
Marcee barely reacts when I sit on the chair beside her, the same two we lounged on this summer.
Damn, was that really just a few months ago?
It feels like forever. Clearing my throat, I replay my kitchen pep talk.
“Marce? I know things are still weird between us, but you can talk to me about anything. You know, if you want.” Holding my breath, I wait to see how she will react.
With a deep sigh, she turns toward me, putting her back to the house and I see that she has the necklace I gave her gripped in her fist. “Things are…” She hesitates, looking out over the water.
“Messy. My life, my thoughts, us. It’s all just so messy, and I don’t do messy, you know that.
Usually, I come to you with stuff like this but now,” she spreads her hands in front of herself, “I don’t know who to talk to, to help me sort it all out.
What I really need is my best friend…” Voice cracking, she looks straight into my eyes.
“I miss my best friend, but I’m still so mad at you, and not there, you know… ”
She looks so lost and vulnerable, I choose my words with care.
“I get that, and for what it’s worth, I miss my best friend too, so much.
” Before she can say anything, I hold my hand up to finish before I lose my nerve or cry.
“What if we suspend the whole me and your dad thing for a few minutes? Pretend that we’re still us, best friends that share everything.
Whatever you’re going through, let me be here for you, and then we can unpause the friendship break until you’re ready again. ”
Smiling, she nudges me with her leg. “That was uber corny, Lexie.”
“Yeah, please don’t tell anyone.” We both laugh awkwardly.
“Ooookay.” She twirls her hair again, opening and closing her mouth several times. It takes all my self-control to not urge her to hurry up.
“I hooked up with a guy I met at a bar last night. Like, I had a one-night stand thing.”
It takes me a second to process what she just blurted out. Marcee, my conservative, quiet, planner friend that just lost her virginity eighteen months ago, had a one-night stand. Of course, I’ve had more than my share of hookups and don’t think it's a big deal, but for her, I can see it's huge.
“Oh. Okay. Well, um, how do you feel about that?” I’m trying to give her the respect she deserves and not make light of it.
“That’s what I'm so confused about. It—the—you know, ugh, the sex, was mind blowing.”
My mind is still trying to process what about that makes her so upset. Is it just because it was a first, or something else?
“It’s what happened after we had sex.”
“Was he nice? Was everything consensual and safe?” My heart stutters, if someone hurt her, I’ll hunt them down and make sure their little friend never hurts anyone else again.
“Yes, yeah. I mean, there wasn’t a lot of talking or anything. But we used protection, and he made sure I enjoyed stuff too. No pressure to do anything I didn’t want to do.” Relief sweeps through me, my lungs expanding with it.
“So, what’s the issue, hun? I’m a little lost.”
“We fell asleep after the third round.”
“Marcee!” I squeal, my horny self is so excited for her. Marcee’s cheeks turn pink, but she grins at me.
“Yeah, turns out when it’s good, you don’t want to stop.
” She laughs and I keep my damn mouth shut because boy do I get that statement, but no way in hell can I say it.
“I really liked him, or at least, what he did to me.” She laughs ruefully.
“But when I woke up, he was gone. He snuck out without a goodbye.”
I nod, trying to read between the lines but still a little lost. That’s my usual MO and my preference for any one-night stand.
Lord knows, there's nothing worse than a stage-five clinger that tries to have a slumber party and spoon. Again, trying to be sensitive to Marcese's feelings, I say, “That’s pretty common, hun. Unless you’re looking for more, whoever is the guest leaves before sunup.”
She rolls her eyes, not in a mean way, more in a self-deprecating way. “Yes, I remember the drill from your walks of shame, love, and the parade of guys from your room in the wee hours of the night.”
I wince at the memories of all the men I cycled through trying to numb the pain.
“What can I say, I knew how to have a good time.” Hiding behind my protective barrier of jokes and my own self-depreciation, I make light of it, but inside, I’m so damn glad I found Finn and that part of my life is over.
“I guess, I just didn’t realize how it would feel to actually do the hookup thing.
I’ve never had sex outside of a committed relationship.
I knew it would be different, and I’m not looking for a boyfriend.
It just made me feel cheap and used, is all.
I know I sound pathetic and needy. But…” she trails off and I reach over to take her hand in mine.
“It’s okay to have feelings over all of it. Your feelings are valid, and you have a right to have them. Now that you know how it feels, you can decide if you want to do that sort of thing again.”
“You want to know the really crazy part?”
“You know I do!” I wink, squeezing her hand.
“I do. I really want to do that again. I don’t want to be tied to one guy. I’ve never really explored what I like, what I want in regards to sex, and last night, let’s just say I realized I liked things I never thought I would.” Her cheeks are pink again, but the weight in her eyes seems less.
“You know I'm all for exploring your sexuality.” She snorts, and I laugh alongside her. “Just be sure to check in with yourself regularly. Make sure you are truly comfortable with what’s happening and you’re being safe.”
“Thanks, Lexie, I’ve felt so adrift lately. This really helped.”
“I’m always here for you Marcee, I really do love you.”
“I know, Lexie, I think I just forgot for a while. It’ll never not be weird, the whole you and my dad thing, and I’m not ready to just be besties again, but I’m trying.”
I give her a quick hug, grinning at her. “Before we go back to the paused friend status…how was it, and what all did you do?”
Her cheeks turn bright red. “Well, I guess it’s only fair, you have shared all your adventures with me and I sure as hell don’t want to hear your current exploits.” Hope surges in my chest. If she can make a joke about it, maybe she's on the road to acceptance.
“Well, after all that, I think we deserve some wine, don’t you?
” I ask, holding up the bottle, only just realizing I didn’t bring glasses.
“Hope you don’t mind drinking from the bottle, you know, like classy ladies over here.
” Marcee grins and accepts the offered bottle, taking a healthy swig before passing it to me.
We sit as she tells me about the experience and visibly releases some of the tension in her shoulders.
She just needed to get it all out, to process it outside of her own head.
By the time Finn calls us to head to the airport, she's smiling and looking lighter than she has in a while. She’ll be fine, and hopefully this opened the door for our friendship again too.
Finn and I watch Marcee go through airport security, waving her off as she heads to her terminal.
It’s so surreal standing here hand in hand with Finn.
No more secrets, no hiding, just us. A squeeze on my hand drags me from my thoughts.
Finn is grinning down at me like a goob and bouncing on the balls of his feet with excitement. “What?”
“I have a present that I want to give to you a day early.”
“Really? Yes, please!” I love presents. My parents gave me money and cars and big stuff like that, but I rarely got special or thoughtful gifts, and the idea of one from Finn has me giddy as a schoolgirl.
“It’s in the car, let’s go.” Grabbing my hand, he takes off in a jog.
I laugh in shock at his public antics. So at war with the mature adult I know, but just another side of this man I love with all my heart.
We race to the car, where a little red gift bag is waiting on my seat.
How did he put this here without me seeing him?
I open it and pull out two pieces of paper, then ugly cry when I see two tickets to Switzerland.
With tears coursing down my cheeks, I gasp when I see the date.
“We fly out today? Finn! I don’t have any bags packed or anything ready.” His smile grows larger as he rounds the car to the trunk, pulling out two large suitcases. One black, the other is bright red with a large bow on it.
“One step ahead of you, Lex.” Looking at his watch, he closes the trunk and starts walking back toward the terminal. “Well, you coming or not?”
With an undignified squeal, I run to catch up. “Are you serious right now, baby? Are we really going to Switzerland for Christmas?”
“Yep, I’m taking you skiing on the Alps, then going to spend all night worshiping your body before a roaring fire. Five days, just you and me.”