Chapter 22
AMBER
The twins woke up in the middle of the night, one at a time.
First, Emily pulled me out of the deep sleep that hit me after Roman and I showered and fell into bed.
He’d needed me so fiercely. The bruises on my body proved how harshly he’d loved on me, and I didn’t consider holding back once.
I’d wanted to talk, but he’d wanted to feel. After the horror at the church, I couldn’t fault him for the desperation to reconnect and remind ourselves that we were alive and together.
So when I heard Emily fussing, he slept through it, worn ragged and exhausted.
Once I calmed her down and she was back in her crib instead of in my arms, it was Henry’s turn. Roman still slept.
After I put Henry back in his crib, I probably managed a few more hours of sleep. But once again—before I wanted to think about getting out of bed and facing the day—they fussed and protested in their cribs.
I didn’t want to wake Roman, and I realized that the twins would probably settle down faster if they were together. I was no expert, but I suspected that sometimes, their twin bond was all that they needed. Maybe it was an infantile way of grounding themselves. Or maybe it was all in my mind.
But as soon as I scooped them up out of the cribs and kissed them, shushing them, they were better.
I arranged them side by side in the middle of the bed.
Roman and I never wanted to risk letting them sleep in the bed when we were bound to doze off.
The fear of suffocation or them rolling and falling was too dangerous to allow.
I was wide awake, though, knowing that I wouldn’t be able to easily fall back asleep now.
With the sun shining and the light showing through the crack in the curtain, my “clock” was triggered.
Sure, I was tired from getting up in the middle of the night, but I was physically used to that happening as a caregiver of babies.
And yes, I was still tense and on edge from the kidnapping attempt yesterday, but Roman’s hard fuck had mellowed me out.
Roman lay on his side, his eyes closed and his chest rising and falling steadily as he slept in.
Emily and Henry lay on their backs in the middle of the enormous king-size bed, snuggling against me as I lay on my side facing them.
Rubbing my fingers over Emily’s tummy soothed her.
Henry lay there and stared at his sister, patting at the zipper that lined the side of her pajama leg.
Careful not to let them wake Roman, I sighed and watched them, marveling that they were okay. The gift of healthy children was too precious to ever take for granted. I knew that more than anyone else from my years in the system.
In the peaceful quiet of the morning, I propped my head in my hand, elbow up by my pillow, as I embraced the gratitude that they’d been spared from being shot or taken.
I’d never be able to live with myself if they’d been hurt. If that sinister man had taken them.
Especially…
I cringed, zoning out as I thought back to the flicker or recognition that had taken hold of me yesterday.
The man who’d crept into that room where I was with the twins looked like one of the thugs who’d been with William’s friends.
There were so many of them over the years.
So many creepy predators who’d come to dinners and parties.
I avoided it all, hiding in my room almost exclusively.
But I heard them. I caught glimpses of them.
Was it him, though?
Was that man one of William’s associates?
Now, in the light of a new day, I couldn’t be entirely sure of what I thought. I had been so scared, so panicked, and running on emotions with the need to defend the babies. Thinking clearly in an adrenaline-packed moment like that wasn’t feasible.
But what if he was?
What if that man was one of William’s friends?
Does that mean he knew I was there? And that I’d be with the twins?
Or is it the other way around? He’d come there to get them and happened to run into me?
Another cringe crossed over my face as I debated which was most likely.
He was there for the babies. He demanded that I hand over Henry. He didn’t come for me, but for Henry.
I gazed at the sweet baby boy, trying to tamp down the rising anger that surfaced with the thought of anything happening to him. He was an innocent. Just a baby, and he deserved no part in any violence.
That was why I struggled with the possibility that I could’ve been a connection to bring danger to them.
I don’t see how, though? I’m not out and about often. And when I do go somewhere, Lorne and the guards are with me.
I scoffed lightly, shutting that idea down. It didn’t matter. William was so rich and powerful that he could afford to have eyes and ears everywhere. On the street and even in offices.
Roman sighed, shifting slightly as he slept. His eyes didn’t open, and he was still at peace.
I turned my focus to him, admiring the rugged, lean lines of his face. The expanse of muscles and taut skin of his chest. Even at rest, he looked like such a force of nature. Larger than life.
And with him, I did feel safe. Secure. He proved it yesterday in such a gruesome way that I wished hadn’t happened.
He hadn’t hesitated to reach me after I screamed for help. He hadn’t debated killing that man, removing the threat to the twins or me.
I don’t know what I’d do without you.
I stared at him, wishing that he could know it without a doubt. He’d become my savior, not just my boss. He’d become the source of my smiles, not just my orgasms.
In his bed, with his twins, I felt like I was truly home. For the first time in my life, being with him and these adorable babies showed me a glimpse of the peace and inclusion I’d never felt before.
Even if his world was soaked in blood.
I furrowed my brow as I thought back to how ruthless he was.
Not just him…
All of them. Sergei, Lorne, Andre, and all the guards. Mikhail too.
Images from the church replayed in my mind, and each time the loop of violence ran like a movie reel, I couldn’t shake off the hunch that he wasn’t just a businessman. He wasn’t only in the investing and consultation industries like he’d so vaguely claimed.
None of them ever talked about what they did, what actually happened on a supposed workday.
But enough clues were slotting into place, solving more of the puzzle.
They were wealthy, careful, with guards who were all armed. They had a sense of lawlessness in the way that their first thoughts never steered toward calling 911 for help in an emergency.
The Orlovs seemed like they were… in the Mafia.
I don’t think I can deny it anymore.
These past few months, I’d shut down the ideas like that, that Roman belonged to a Mafia family. That Sergei and Andre were lieutenants of some kind.
The first time the thought came to mind, I dismissed it. Little things were adding up here and there, but I couldn’t ask. I was scared shitless to even think it.
Because it was all too similar to what I suspected when I lived with William.
His friends were in the Mafia. I didn’t know names—I didn’t want to know any names—but there was no doubt in my mind that William was bankrolling mobsters.
That he was giving, organizing, or accepting bribes. And handling dirty money.
I can’t have this lousy of luck, though.
I dreaded the possibility that I could have run from one connection to mobsters just to end up in the clutches of another mobster.
Emily gripped my finger and waved it, jarring me from my thoughts.
“Hi, sweetheart,” I whispered to her. “Ready to get up?”
Even if she wasn’t, I’d had enough of ruminating and worrying, of wondering and second-guessing.
If I was too scared to ask Roman about what, exactly, his family was in charge of or capable of, then I’d have no one to blame but myself for my cluelessness.
Ignorance was bliss, but if I was getting mixed up in the middle of Mafia families, it seemed like the wisest outcome for everyone was if I extracted myself from this situation and left.
But I can’t. I got up and reached for the twins to pick them up off the bed. They, too, were getting restless lying around.
I couldn’t imagine leaving them. I kissed the tops of their heads as I carried them out of the room. They’d become so much more than a job.
Pausing at the door, I glanced back at Roman to make sure he was still sleeping in and resting. He was.
The same goes for you.
Roman had become so much more than my employer.
He was the one I ran to, the one I wanted to love freely, and because of that, I couldn’t confess the secrets of my past that would make him want nothing to do with me.