Chapter 24
AMBER
Roman was busy the rest of the day, but ever since he went into his office with his uncle and cousin, I worried.
They had to be talking about what happened at the church.
And for the first time since I’d come into this home and had been around this family, I sorely wished I could know what they were talking about.
If they knew that man who’d tried to snatch Henry.
If they were aware that the man sometimes hung out with William and his friends and associates.
Claire was a helpful distraction. So were the twins. But an uneasiness settled over me that carried into the afternoon and well into the evening.
Claire hadn’t offered any information when she visited in the morning.
Her comments and questions were more geared toward how Emily and Henry were holding up to the scare.
Perhaps that was just because she was a doctor.
It was in her nature to inquire about “patients” in the manner that she never shut up or stopped being a medical professional.
Once she left, though, I had too much space and quiet to think. And dwell and worry and stress and fret. I was idle in my mind even though I was active and busy with Emily and Henry.
Unfortunately, they both were on the crankier side than usual. I assumed it was a residual reaction to the scare in the church. Being traumatized would impact everyone differently, and perhaps with their being so young, they were still dealing with how frightened they were.
After all, who could really know how babies’ minds worked?
I could do my best to decipher which cries meant what need that they wanted met.
And that was how I ended up spending most of the day. Cooped up inside and feeling like I was going to go nuts with how fussy they were.
Taking endless turns, I fed them, changed them, sat with them, rocked with them, walked with them, read to them, played with them, rubbed their backs, offered new toys and rattles and teethers. I even tried pacifiers—which neither had any interest in.
It was one of those reminders that the days could feel so long but the years would pass so swiftly.
Reminding myself of that seemed like a cruel joke. Because while I felt like this was my home and while I loved them like they were my own children, I knew that I wasn’t set here. Roman wasn’t my husband. I wasn’t even his girlfriend with how often we reminded each other that it was just sex.
Until yesterday, that worked for me with my mentality of assuming I’d need to move again or hide further from this city and William’s reach.
After that heart-stopping moment of fear at the church, though, I stood by the instinct to call for him, to want him to be at my side.
Because that’s where he fits. Where he belongs.
With the full day and evening of trying to make the twins happy and failing consistently, I was more than eager for Roman to come home. It didn’t make me feel like I wasn’t doing my job. I was, one hundred percent. But I could use the backup.
Unfortunately, I was on my own when his text came in after I’d made a quick salad for myself for dinner, one I consumed all through Henry fussing and Emily whining despite how I sat him on my lap and I bounced her in her bouncer chair with my foot on the edge of it to ensure she had movement.
Roman: I won’t be home until late tonight. Sergei is out with me at an important meeting.
“A meeting, huh?” I quipped wryly out loud.
It wasn’t my business what he did. I had no right to be nosy and wonder what Roman and his family did. But now that I’d been thinking more seriously—and not stubbornly denying—that they might be in the Mafia, I wished I could know one way or the other what I was getting myself tied up with here.
Henry blinked up at me.
Emily pouted and fussed.
“What do you think he’s got a meeting for, huh?” I asked them in the vein of always talking to them, which felt more like talking to myself.
Henry grimaced, proving that he was constipated—again.
Then he cried, and I gave up on thinking about Roman or my half-eaten salad or literally anything else.
In tandem, they made the rest of the night impossible.
Baths seemed to sort of appease them, but then Henry splashed and got water in Emily’s eyes and she freaked out.
Then when I was drying them both off and trying to get Henry zipped up into his pajamas, he peed all over the fabric and I had to hustle to find another one for him, which meant Emily was still in her towel and not warm in her pajamas, triggering yet more fussing.
I wasn’t sure when I got them settled in the crib.
Roman and I didn’t want to ever risk them rolling onto each other and covering up each other’s faces while they slept, but that twin bond was magic.
I set them up in the crib together, leaned my arms through the slats to rub both of their tummies to soothe them to sleep, and I finally earned blissful quiet.
Before I could doze off myself with my arms in the openings between the slats and my face smushed against the railing as I leaned forward, I slowly pulled my hands away and straightened.
Ow. I winced, arching my back. But I didn’t linger. I hurried to shower and get into bed, so grateful the twins continued to sleep per the baby monitor.
Roman was there the next time I woke up. He must have come back shortly after I’d fallen asleep. It meant that he was there to help Emily as she fussed. I groaned into the pillow, knowing that Henry would wake up too.
“Let’s find your favorite teal blankie,” Roman said from the nursery. His tired and impatient tone reached me through the open doors.
I rolled over so my face wasn’t pressed against the pillow. Right then, Henry cried.
“It’s not her favorite anymore,” I called out.
“What do you mean?” he replied as I got up and cringed at having to lose sleep with the day I’d had.
“Henry likes it now.”
“But it’s hers,” Roman said as he held Emily and walked with her.
I scooped up Henry and sat in the rocker with him. “Henry claimed it,” I repeated.
“But she likes teal-colored things—”
“She probably doesn’t really know what teal is yet,” I replied curtly.
He scowled at me. “Henry doesn’t like it when you sit.”
“He seemed to like it when I sat and rocked earlier,” I shot back, my fatigue getting the best of me.
“He doesn’t seem to like it now.”
I wished I could flip him off. But he wasn’t just my lover. He was my boss. It was clear we were both exhausted and irritated, and I tried not to lose my cool.
“He’ll like it in a second,” I replied. “Wait. No. Maybe it was Emily who liked it earlier.” I closed my eyes and groaned. “I can’t tell. It’s been a long day.”
“Welcome to my world,” he groused. “I’ve had a long day too.”
I opened my eyes and frowned. “You don’t have to take it out on me with that attitude.”
“I’m trying not to. I’m fucking exhausted and not in a good mood. I think sleeping might help my case.”
“Me too,” I shot back defensively. “I would love to sleep and put this day behind me.”
“Then how do we calm them down?” he asked hotly.
“I don’t know! Nothing I’ve done today has worked.” I stood up to hand Henry to him and to take Emily. Maybe she was the one who liked the rocking chair earlier. I was so frazzled, I was losing my mind and forgetting which one liked what right now.
“For fuck’s sake.” He switched babies and I sat with Emily, rocking at the steadiest pace I could.
She stopped fussing, clutching the collar of the loose tank top I was using as pajamas tonight.
Roman paced, holding Henry, and he stopped crying too.
We didn’t argue. We didn’t speak. I couldn’t know how Roman was handling it, but I was trying my best not to even breathe deeply lest that set Emily off and wake her up.
When it seemed like they were out, we carried them to the crib and put them down. All was well and quiet—until we got into bed and pulled the covers up.
They fussed again.
Once more, we bickered with each other over how to get them to calm down. Eventually, they did settle, sleeping in the crib at last.
Roman got in bed and I crawled back under the sheets.
“Come here,” he growled, tired and annoyed.
I rolled my eyes, peeved about his arguing with me. Scooting back, I tucked against him and let him spoon me. With his arm around me, his chiseled chest a solid brace against my back, I was warm and secure.
We lay there, breathing steadily and relaxing.
I was waiting with bated breath for one of the babies to wake up again in this game of sleep deprivation.
But they didn’t stir. They slept soundly.
Roman must have noticed too because he held me closer and sighed deeply. “Sorry for losing my cool.”
I smiled, rolling over and looking at his handsome face in the darkness. “I’m sorry I snapped at you too.” Leaning closer to him, I kissed him and savored the heat of his mouth on mine.
He responded in kind, rolling under he had me beneath him, pinned to the mattress.
Kissing me. Tugging at my clothes so he could run his callused hands over my skin.
Groping me with his fingers between my legs as he stroked my pussy.
Gasping into my mouth as I found his dick and wrapped my fingers around it.
“I’m sorry I didn’t get to see you all day,” he whispered as we tugged our clothes off.
“And night,” I added.
He chuckled lightly as he lined his thick dick up to my slick opening. “I’m sorry it’s been so long since we’ve been able to do this.” With a long, steady thrust, he rammed into me.
It stole my breath. Like every time he was balls deep inside of me, my heart kicked faster and my mind blanked out.
“Oh, God…” I breathed, fully taken aback by how perfectly he filled me. Stretched me. Completed me.
“Fuck. Just like that,” he whispered into my ear. “Squeeze me just like that.”
“What do you mean…” I tried not to make any loud sounds as he fucked me, slow, hard, and with all of his body.
He pushed me into the mattress as his heavy body covered me, rubbing every inch of contact between us.
His dick slid into me until I was so full to bursting.
And his mouth never strayed from leaving hot kisses on my lips and skin.
“What do you mean, it’s been so long?” I asked when I could get the full question out.
“Too long since I’ve had this sweet pussy,” he replied before kissing me harder.
When I parted for air, I smiled and almost laughed under the rhythm of him driving into me, no inches between us. “You had me last night,” I reminded him.
He nipped at my lower lip. “And it would be a crime if I ever went another night without you.”
At the sound of those sexy and sweet words, I shattered.
I came, trembling and clinging to him as my orgasm ripped through me.
He was quick to cover my mouth with his, muffling my cries.
And he was just as quick to follow me, jerking deep inside me as he came and shot his cum into me, rope after rope of it.
Hearing him make something like a promise was too much to bear. The idea that he could be wanting a real future was a fantasy I hadn’t dared to believe in.
But if he meant it. If he wanted me as something far more than just something physical…
Don’t tease.
Please don’t tease.
It would make it all the more harder for me to convince myself that I wasn’t falling in love with him.