Chapter 29 Roman
ROMAN
Amber cried softly on my lap. I held her close, hoping that I could have the patience to be tender and let her find peace again.
Her chest heaved with slight sobs. Wetness spread on my shirt from her tears. Her whole body, so small and petite, trembled as she stayed put, her thighs draped over mine as she cuddled with me.
If she wanted comfort, I’d give it to her.
But if she needed security, I had to hear her secrets. My uncle was right. Things were getting too mixed up and complicated. Her past connection with William Rossen, which was an indirect link to the Popovs, couldn’t be something trivial that we dismissed.
But they said they wanted her. They weren’t going to let my woman get away.
That didn’t track.
If the Popovs were trying to get to her because she was associated with William in any way, then they wouldn’t have said that. Giving a reason for her capture was a clue. And they’d wanted her because of her ties to me.
And that didn’t surprise me. Letting a woman in to matter was a risk we all had to take into careful consideration.
When Mikhail met Claire, he’d had to ensure the enemy couldn’t hurt her.
When Sergei met Natalie, Niko Popov fucked around and found out what happened when he captured her.
And last, when Andre and Sofia became close, we’d had to protect her against her family.
It was taking me a long time to fully acclimate to the fact that Amber was mine.
She’d started as my nanny, but she was mine in every sense of the word that mattered.
If being unable to imagine her absent in my life meant that I was making a solid commitment, then yes, that was fucking it. Or she was it for me.
If anything, this was all my fault. My fault for not claiming her as mine. Not announcing to the world—to all our friends and foes—that she was under my protection.
It’s not like I’m dragging my feet for the hell of it.
I hadn’t tried to put too much energy into defining our relationship because I was still missing the details about her past.
“It will be okay,” I told her again as I rubbed her back.
Watching my son and daughter in the crib, I savored the peace that they were all right.
And they had been safe with Amber watching over them.
Again. I could trust this woman with my children, but I needed to get to the point that I could trust her with my world and what it took to be my woman. All the risks included with that, too.
“It isn’t,” she protested weakly.
With one more deep but shaky inhale, she lifted her face toward mine.
Her auburn hair was mussed from how she’d tucked against me.
With glossy, teary eyes, the green in her irises popped.
Her cheeks were pink from crying, but as I raised my hand and tucked her bright red waves back so I could clearly see her face more, I marveled at her beauty.
How breathtaking she was no matter what mood she was in.
Scared. Sad. Happy. Excited. Impatient or relaxed.
She stunned me through all the waves of her emotions.
“It isn’t okay, Roman. Those men endangered the twins because of who I am.” Her lower lip trembled as she conveyed her worries.
I had come to the same conclusion, but I wasn’t sure if she had the same concept in mind. Because of who she was to me? Or because of who she was with her past that she was being secretive about?
I continued caressing her cheek. “You mean because of your association with me? And my family? Because you work for me and because we’ve been together?”
She nodded, but the gesture only lasted a couple of seconds. Furrowing her brow, she stopped midway and shook her head instead. “No. Not that.”
“Then what?”
This was it. The moment of truth I’d been waiting for. The moment she’d let me in and share her past, whatever those secrets were. I witnessed the timid defeat in her eyes. She couldn’t shy away from this topic now.
“Because my adoptive father is William Rossen the Second.” She blinked, but she didn’t lose my gaze. “He’s… he’s a very wealthy and influential man. A… a banker.”
I set my hand on her thigh, so fucking relieved she was opening up with me. I knew this already, but she hadn’t been aware of that knowledge. With her freely opening up like this, she was giving me what I’d wanted. She chose to tell me this. She trusted me with this.
“I’ve heard of him,” I told her. “My family is aware of who William Rossen is.”
She nodded. “I… I wondered. Because you’re so rich and he is too and I wondered if you could know of him but not know him to the point that you’re his friends and associates like those men are.”
“Like which men? The ones who took the car today?” I did my best not to reveal too much. That we’d known those Popovs. I had to know what she knew about them.
“Yes.” She nodded and lowered her gaze but returned it to mine. “The men who took the car are like the men William used to have over at his house. For parties and… gatherings.”
Gatherings? That sounded vague as fuck and in a bad way.
“And the man who broke into that room at the church and came at me with the twins, I thought he looked like the security guys who used to be with William’s friends.
” She swallowed and kept going. “I… I thought I heard one of them, too. When I was at your office that one time and you had me move the twins to another room. I thought I heard one of their voices, and it reminded me of when I lived at William’s mansion. ”
She was giving me a lot to pick through, but I could tell this was only the tip of the iceberg.
“What else?” I asked, leaving it open-ended. I couldn’t push her. But there had to be more.
She hesitated, but I couldn’t tell if she was searching for the right words or if she was losing the courage to speak up.
“You told me before that you’d changed your name because you wanted a new start on your life after some things that happened when you were a teenager.”
She gulped again and nodded.
“What things?”
She shook her head.
“It looks to me that you changed your name when you left William’s residence, right?”
“Yeah.”
“How come?”
Please. Don’t shut me out. Please fucking talk to me.
“I didn’t want to live there anymore. I couldn’t.
” She pierced me with her gaze, so soulful and lost. “William adopted me when I was about ten years old and I’ve always been wary of him.
I went through the system, in and out of homes as a child after my parents died when I was a baby.
He was the first one who wanted to give me a home, and I knew that having a home and a family was good. But I was always nervous around him.”
“Did he ever hurt you?” I asked. Rage threatened to consume me at the mere idea of that fucker touching her and abusing her.
“No. He didn’t. But he always had friends and associates over. And they creeped me out.”
“Men like the ones who took you?”
She nodded. “It’s why I wanted to get away. It’s why I wanted a new life and a new name. To get away from him.”
“Amber, you’re not a child. You’re an adult and he couldn’t make you stay there.”
“He was very controlling. I wasn’t allowed off the property and…
and… I did have to run away. That’s why I was so glad to start working for you right away.
Here, where you have so much security. But I was stupid to think that he’d ever let me leave and be out of his life.
It’s clear that he’s still going to look for me and expect me to come home again.
He’ll ask his friends to look for me and… ” She sniffled and dipped her chin.
“Those men will not get close to you again.” I put my fingers under her chin and lifted it until she faced me. “Those men belong to the Popov crime family.”
She winced slightly. “I always assumed they had to be mobsters.” Then with more of a wince, she asked, “Are you also…?”
“My uncle is the Pakhan of the Orlov Family,” I explained without missing a beat.
“So I ran from one Mob to another?”
I shook my head. “Don’t do that. Don’t twist some connotation of who I am and what my family represents. I won’t discuss any details with you, but I think it would serve you best if you consider what you’ve experienced since being here. A job. A home. All your needs met. Security.”
Me. You found me, Amber.
“I know.” She sighed and leaned against me. “I… I know. And no one here is like any of the thugs and mobster guys that William ever had over.”
Thank fuck.
For all those times she’d seemed so oblivious to our being a crime family, she wasn’t that na?ve and simple-minded. She got it. And to my great relief, she could wager the differences between us and the Popovs.
“But since you are here, as part of my life and my home, as part of the twins’ lives and their happiness,” I said, stroking her back again, “that makes you part of us. And if the Popovs think you need to be back with William…”
“I won’t.” She jerked her face up. “I won’t go back to living with him. If these Popov guys are trying to bring me back to William—”
I kissed her to quiet her, so as not to wake the twins. “That won’t happen. It will not. I want to give you the world, Amber. I will do whatever it takes to make you feel safe. Do you hear me?”
She nodded, and I kissed her again.
“But as long as William wants me to come back to him…” She cringed, as if the thought nauseated her.
“Why would he?”
She licked her lips and furrowed her brow. “Because he adopted me.”
“Which means you are family,” I said, trying to get her to spill the rest of what she was hiding.
There had to be something more. “Maybe he could have some delusion that you owe your life to him or something, but this kind of control won’t stand up for anything.
He can’t decide where you live and what you do. ”
She kept her gaze downcast. “I will never be safe so long as he’s alive and able to demand my return.”
“That’s not true. You are safe with me. You’re safe with my family.”
When she stared me down for a long moment, I wanted to believe that I had convinced her. But then she frowned again. “When you said you would do anything to keep me safe, did you mean it?
I opened and closed my mouth, already guessing where she was going with this.
“William is rich and powerful and has dangerous friends. But so do you. You have the means to do anything you want, and you have a whole… whole army of guards.”
“Amber…” I shook my head. “I can’t kill him for you. Not like I killed those other men who tried to capture you and the twins.”
Her chin dipped again, but I caught her face and framed it so she’d look at me.
“I can’t kill him without starting a bigger war between our families.
Mafia politics will throw a major block into putting a hit on someone like Rossen.
He’s got the Popovs’ protection, and it’s not a minor thing to eliminate him. ”
Her throat strained as she swallowed hard. I hated the possibility that she was disappointed in my answer. This sweet woman wasn’t bloodthirsty at all, and I knew she had asked for the sake of self-preservation.
But that only made one question burn hotter like neon flashing in my mind.
Why?
Why was she so scared of William insisting that she go back to him?
Why would she worry about what her adoptive father would want when she was no longer a minor?
He hadn’t even given her his name when he legally adopted her.
“That doesn’t mean I will let him rule your life like this. I vow to crush him another way. Yes, to answer your question, I did mean it. I will do whatever it takes to make you safe.”
She sniffled and pierced me with her gaze.
“I will discuss it with my uncle, with Sergei and Andre. We will look into this and you will be safe.”
“Okay,” she replied softly.
“Is there anything else you can tell me? Anything else about why William would be this controlling and expect you back at his house?”
I waited with bated breath as she stared at her lap.
“Amber?” I prodded after too-long of a moment of quiet.
“I can’t go back there,” she said, shaking her head.
Dammit.
She was still holding back. Still keeping secrets.
“I can’t leave you or the twins. Or the safety I have here.”
“You won’t.” I hauled her tighter into my arms and held her close. “You won’t,” I repeated, wondering what it would take for her to tell me what seemed like the rest of her secret.