18. CHAPTER EIGHTEEN #2
“You like more than that.”
I smile. “Unfortunately.”
His mouth curves. Then he kisses me, and the conversation disappears for a while. He holds my hips in place and rails into me while rubbing circles on my clit, and it’s euphoric how he makes me feel –– physically and emotionally.
Later, I’m sprawled over him with the sheet tangled around my legs and his hand moving lazily up and down my back. His chest is warm underneath my cheek, and I have been internally repeating one word for the last five minutes like I learned it this morning.
Boyfriend.
It makes me happy in a way I wasn’t prepared for.
I lift my head. “Boyfriend.”
He looks at me.
I grin and test the words. “My boyfriend.”
“G.”
I smile and perk up on his chest. “Say it.”
He inhales. “Girlfriend.”
I smile so hard my cheeks hurt. “Oh, I like that.”
He laughs. “I can tell.”
I nod, unable to hide my smile. “I’m going to be unbearable.”
“You already are.”
I hit his chest. He catches my hand and kisses my palm before letting it go. That shuts me up for approximately three seconds. Then I remember Hawthorne.
My smile fades slightly. “Oh.”
“What?”
“We have to tell everybody.”
Rowan looks completely unbothered. “Okay.”
“Do you understand what I mean by everybody?”
“Yeah.” He nods.
I start listing everyone. “Stanley.”
He nods.
“Lucy.”
He nods.
I pause. “Benson.”
Rowan looks at me.
The only name that feels different, so I don’t continue down my list.
“What?” Rowan asks, noticing my hesitation. “You think he’ll care?”
I take a moment to think, and I say, “I think he already knows.”
Rowan’s mouth twitches. “You think?”
“Have you seen his face lately?”
He nods. “I live with him.”
“Exactly. He keeps looking at us.”
Rowan runs his hand down my back again. “What are you worried about?”
I think about it. “Nothing, actually.” I sit up a little.
“I don’t think I’m worried. I just don’t want to do the thing where we tell people separately for the next week.
I’ll have to explain it to Lucy, then Benson, then Blue will find out from Benson, and Mara will tell everybody she knew first, and Stanley will somehow turn it into a town hall. ”
“Yeah.”
“So everybody,” I offer. “Tonight.”
“Tonight?” he says like he’s thinking about it.
“Yes.”
Rowan reaches toward the nightstand for his phone.
I laugh. “What are you doing?”
“Getting everybody there.”
“Right now?”
He says, “You said tonight.”
He types something. His phone immediately starts vibrating in his hand.
“What did you say?” I ask, looking at his screen.
“Food at seven.”
I stare at him. “That’s it?”
“What else do I need to say?”
“You’re announcing a relationship.”
“They don’t know that.”
He looks at the screen. “Stanley wants sushi.”
“Of course Stanley wants sushi.” I laugh.
“Blue says yes. Percy says yes.”
I grab my phone. “I’ll get the girls.”
Me: Hawthorne tonight.
Me: Sushi.
Me: Be there at seven.
Mara replies almost immediately.
Mara: Why?
Me: Sushi.
Mara: I’ll be there. Get me a dragon roll.
Lucy: Already here lol.
Of course she is.
Melly says she’ll bring Mila. Aspen sends a thumbs-up.
I put my phone down.
Rowan is looking at me. “You’re smiling.”
I waggle my eyebrows at him. “I have a boyfriend.” I crawl up his body until my face is above his. “Boyfriend.”
He looks at my face. “G.”
“Boyfriend.”
“G,” he warns.
I kiss him. “I’m happy for us.”
His hands settle around my waist, and he chuckles. “Yeah.”
That admission gets him another kiss.
By seven, the happiness has turned into nerves. Not enough to make me regret anything. Just enough that when we pull into Hawthorne, and I see the cars lining the street, my stomach gives one hard flip.
Everybody is here.
I was fine in my apartment. I was fine picking up sushi. I was fine in Rowan’s truck. Now I can see people through the front windows of Hawthorne, and suddenly this feels like walking onto a stage.
Rowan shuts off the truck. “You good?”
“Yeah.” I look at the house. Then at him. “Excited.”
He gets out and comes around to help with the food. I carry two bags, he takes the rest, and we start toward the porch.
Halfway there, Rowan shifts everything into one hand and reaches for mine. His fingers slide between mine. I look down at our hands. This is the part that feels new.
Walking into Hawthorne holding his hand and knowing nobody is going to pretend not to see it. I squeeze his fingers once.
He glances down at me. “Ready?”
“No.”
He smiles. “Okay.”
“Don’t okay me.”
His smile widens. Then he opens the door.
The house is already loud. Blue and Melly are on the couch, Percy and Penelope beside them.
Lucy is at the kitchen table with her legs across Benson’s lap.
Aspen is leaning against the island while Stanley stands in the middle of the kitchen telling some story with both hands.
Mara and Mila are digging through something on Mara’s phone.
Stanley sees us first. He’s standing in the middle of the kitchen with a plastic cup in one hand, halfway through telling Aspen something that has his other hand moving through the air.
The second Rowan and I step through the door, the sentence dies in his mouth.
His head pops out of the kitchen. Then his whole body.
His eyes land on my face first, then shift to Rowan beside me. He looks down at our hands. Then back up.
His mouth drops open.
That alone is enough to get Mara’s attention, because Stanley Ermington going completely silent in a room full of people is basically an emergency alarm. She looks over from where she is sitting with Mila near the island, follows the direction of his stare, and her whole face lights up.
“Oh my God.”
Every head in the house turns.
Bodies spill out of the kitchen.
Blue looks from me to Rowan. Aspen takes one look at our joined hands and starts smiling. Percy’s eyebrows rise, which is probably the biggest outward reaction I have ever seen from him.
And Benson—
My eyes find him without meaning to.
He is sitting with Lucy’s legs stretched across his lap, a drink in one hand, and when he sits forward and looks at us, there is no shock in his face. No confusion either.
His eyes drop to Rowan’s hand around mine, then return to me.
That’s all it takes for me to understand that my brother knows. He has known. Or suspected. He’s not shocked. He’s probably been watching this develop for longer than I gave him credit for.
Mara points at us so violently that Mila has to lean out of the way.
“I knew it!”
Stanley whips toward her. “No, you did not.”
“I absolutely did.”
“You guessed.”
“No, I knew. I’ve just been waiting.”
I laugh, partly because they are ridiculous and partly because my heart is suddenly beating much faster than it was on the porch.
Lucy is already getting to her feet. “Gianna.” There is enough accusation in my name to make me laugh harder.
“Hi.”
She looks down at my hand inside Rowan’s, then up at me again. “You live with me.”
“I’m aware.”
“And you didn’t tell me?”
“I was going to.”
“When?”
I glance around the room. “Approximately now.”
“That does not count.”
Before I can answer, everybody starts talking at once.
Blue asks Rowan something over the noise. Stanley is still arguing with Mara about who knew first. Melly has both hands clasped under her chin like she has been waiting months for this moment, while Aspen is laughing hard enough that she has to set her drink on the counter.
Rowan does not let go of my hand. He’s standing beside me with sushi bags hanging from one hand, taking the chaos like this is a normal Sunday at Hawthorne and not the first time we have walked into a room together without pretending we are nothing.
I look at Benson again. He’s still sitting there, watching the rest of us lose our minds.
I point at him. “And you.”
His brows lift. “What?”
“You are being suspiciously calm.”
That gets a smile out of him. “I have eyes, G.”
The room gets even louder.
I stare at him. “You knew?”
“I knew something.”
“How long?”
Benson shrugs. “A couple weeks.”
I immediately turn toward Rowan. He looks back at me with a small smile.
Benson shakes his head. “You two really aren’t subtle.”
“Thank you,” Stanley shouts from the kitchen.
I twist toward him. “We were incredibly subtle.”
“No,” several people say at once.
My mouth falls open. “That is bullshit.”
Mara starts laughing.
Lucy crosses her arms. “You’ve been smiling at your phone for weeks.”
“I smile at my phone all the time.”
“No, you don’t.”
“Yes, I do.”
“You literally walk into walls when he texts you.”
I chuckle. “That happened once.”
“Twice,” Mara adds.
I point at everybody now. “Can you all shut up?”
Nobody does.
“Everybody shut the fuck up for two seconds!”
That finally works. The room settles into laughter and muttering, and all at once every person is looking at me.
For one second, I feel nervous again. Then Rowan’s thumb moves over the side of my hand.
I look around Hawthorne at all the people who I love more than life itself. My brother. My best friend, Lucy. My other best friend, Mara. The pain in my ass but party partner, Stanley. Blue and Melly. Percy and Penelope. Aspen and Mila. My best friends. My favorite people in the world.
Then I look at Rowan. The nerves disappear.
I squeeze his hand. “So, Rowan’s my boyfriend.”
The room absolutely loses it. Mara screams loud enough to make me flinch. Lucy makes a sound somewhere between a laugh and an accusation and comes straight at me, while Melly jumps up right behind her. Aspen starts clapping. Even Percy is smiling.
Stanley points at Rowan as if he has personally betrayed him. “Boyfriend?”
Rowan nods. “Yeah.”
“Since when?”
“Today.”