20. CHAPTER TWENTY #3
I turn onto my side. “Do you ever think about how this is going to be over soon?”
His eyes stay on mine. “All the time.”
The honesty of it catches me.
“You do?”
“Yeah.”
I don’t know why I expected another answer.
Maybe because Rowan rarely says things before they become necessary.
“What part?” I ask.
“Hockey.”
I blink. “Yeah.”
“Hawthorne.”
I wait.
His hand slides over my waist. “This.”
My heart shifts. “Us?”
“No.” The answer comes so fast I almost laugh. Rowan’s brow pulls together. “I mean this version.”
I understand what he means. It’s the sound of Stanley yelling downstairs, the rink ten minutes away, and maybe me in his bed because I have nowhere else to be this week.
“This version ends,” he says. “Doesn’t mean we do.”
I look at him. There are moments with Rowan where I wish he understood the effect he has on me. Then I’m grateful he doesn’t because I think my heart just squeezed. Internally, I’m screaming. I move closer and kiss him.
He rolls onto his back and pulls me over him.
I smile against his mouth. “Was that your romantic speech?”
“Pretty good, yeah.”
“It was.”
His hands settle at my hips.
I kiss him again, slower.
“I really love—” The word almost comes out. I catch it so quickly it turns into something else. “—being on spring break.”
Rowan pulls back.
I stare at him.
He stares at me.
My heart beats so hard I am convinced he can feel it where I’m lying on top of him.
Then one corner of his mouth lifts. “You love spring break.”
I close my eyes. “Yes.”
“A lot?” he asks.
I nod. “Very much.”
I open my eyes and laugh. Then I kiss him.
He doesn’t say anything more. Thank God.
Saturday night against Minnesota goes to overtime.
By then, everybody is back at Hawthorne.
Spring break is technically still happening, but nobody has gone anywhere anymore.
Lucy is beside me. Mara is sitting cross-legged on the floor with a pillow against her stomach.
Aspen has abandoned pretending she can calmly analyze anything and is standing near the television.
The score is tied two-two.
Overtime stretches.
Five minutes.
Seven.
Nine.
I have stopped sitting.
Mara looks up at me when I pass in front of her again. “You are doing the thing.”
“What thing?”
“Pacing.”
“I’m not pacing.”
“You’ve passed me six times. Gianna.”
Minnesota dumps the puck into Camden’s end.
Rowan goes back for it. I know the way he moves now.
Not enough to understand everything happening on the ice, but enough to recognize him before the camera finds the number on his back.
He turns his head once before he reaches the puck.
Then again. The forechecker comes hard. Rowan doesn’t rush.
He pulls the puck behind the net, waits for the lane that isn’t there on the first look, then moves it up cleanly when the second one opens.
Camden gets through neutral ice. The puck cycles back high. Rowan has it again. He sends it across. The next pass goes down low, somebody redirects it toward the middle, and the whole play collapses into bodies in front of the net.
For half a second, I lose the puck. Then the red light comes on.
The room erupts. I scream before I even know who scored. Lucy grabs me from one side, Aspen from the other. Mara jumps up so quickly the pillow goes flying behind her.
On TV, Stanley is over the boards. Camden’s bench empties toward the corner.
3-2. Overtime.
They’re going to the Big Ten championship.
The replay starts.
Aspen points at the screen. “Rowan.”
“I know!”
“No, look.”
I look.
There he is at the beginning of it. His pass starts the sequence. Another angle shows it again. Rowan sees the ice, waits, moves it across, and three touches later the puck is in the net. Primary assist.
I put both hands over my mouth. Then I point at the television like he can see me through it.
“That’s my boyfriend!”
Mara starts laughing. “Yes, Gianna. We are aware.”
“MY BOYFRIEND.”
The broadcast cuts to Rowan on the bench, and somebody is hitting the top of his helmet while he smiles in that small way he does when he is trying not to look as happy as he actually is.
Another win. Another week. More time.
My phone buzzes less than twenty minutes after the broadcast ends.
Rowan: You still up?
I stare at it.
Me: NO, I WENT TO BED DURING OVERTIME!
The dots appear.
Rowan: Okay.
I laugh.
Me: ROWAN!
Me: THAT WAS SO GOOD!
Me: THAT PASS!
Me: YOU’RE GOING TO THE CHAMPIONSHIP!
His answer takes longer this time.
Rowan: Yeah.
Then another.
Rowan: Wish you were here.
Everything in me goes soft.
I sit down on the arm of the couch while the room continues buzzing around me.
Me: Me too.
Three dots.
Rowan: Come over when we get back tomorrow.
I smile.
Not if you want.
Not maybe I’ll see you.
Just come over.
Me: I’ll be here waiting.
I look back at the TV, where they are replaying the overtime goal again.
Every win still buys them another game.
Another practice.
Another week of Rowan walking into a rink with Camden on his chest.
I know it can’t keep going forever.
But tonight, he wants me waiting when he gets home.