Epilogue
Later, the house is finally quiet by the time I go back inside.
Not normal Hawthorne quiet. Empty quiet.
There are cups still sitting on the kitchen counter, a roll of packing tape by the stairs, and one of Stanley’s shoes under the coffee table that I have no intention of touching. Rowan is outside with Blue, Benson already left with my parents, and I don’t actually need anything from the house.
I just wasn’t ready to leave yet.
I walk through the kitchen and push open the garage door.
The light is still on.
The whiteboard is leaning against the wall. The rules from January are wiped away.
In their place, Stanley has written across the top:
THE FIVE RULES OF HAWTHORNE HOUSE.
I laugh before I even get close enough to read them.
1. SERIOUS GIRLFRIENDS ARE NOW ALLOWED IN THE HOUSE.
Underneath it, in smaller writing:
APPARENTLY WE WERE WRONG ABOUT THAT.
Then, squeezed into the corner:
THEY DO, HOWEVER, HAVE TO LIKE HOCKEY OR BE WILLING TO PRETEND REALLY WELL.
I laugh.
“Jesus Christ.”
2. IF I AM PLAYING AN NHL GAME, THIS HOUSE IS REQUIRED TO WATCH.
I laugh hard enough that it echoes through the garage. “Of course.”
3. IF SOMEBODY FALLS IN LOVE, EVERYBODY HAS TO ACT NORMAL ABOUT IT FOR AT LEAST TWENTY-FOUR HOURS.
Then Stanley added: THIS RULE WOULD HAVE SAVED US ALL A LOT OF TIME.
I’m still smiling when I get to rule four. The handwriting changes. Smaller. Straighter. Neater. Benson's.
4. WHATEVER GIANNA SAYS GOES. THIS IS NOT UP FOR DISCUSSION.
I laugh. And then, because apparently I have not cried enough today, my eyes fill immediately.
“Oh my God,” I whisper.
It isn’t even what Benson wrote that gets me. It’s that he wrote me into the rules at all. He’s leaving. Stanley’s leaving. Next year this house will belong to different people in different ways, but Benson still made sure my name stayed here.
I wipe under my eyes and read the last rule.
Stanley kept that one exactly the same.
5. WHAT HAPPENS AT HAWTHORNE STAYS AT HAWTHORNE.
Then I notice Stanley added something underneath. It’s smaller this time. Almost squeezed in after the fact.
EXCEPT WHEN IT’S IMPORTANT. THEN TELL EVERYBODY.
I laugh so hard I have to bend forward. That is so fucking stupid. And somehow it is perfect. Because the original rules were supposed to keep everything contained.
For a second, I just stand there looking at all five. The old rules were supposed to keep this place simple. No girlfriends. No complications. No falling in love. They failed at almost every one. Thank God.
Benson fell in love. Blue fell in love. Stanley did. Percy did. Rowan did.
Half the people who made this place what it became weren’t even supposed to be here according to the original rules. Me included.
I look at Benson’s line again. Then I stop before I start bawling my eyes out again.
Next year, Rowan will still be here. Percy will be here. Blue will be here.
Two new guys will move into the empty rooms. Somebody will fall in love with somebody they absolutely were not supposed to. Apparently that is tradition now. I take one last look at the board. At the one rule they kept: What happens at Hawthorne stays at Hawthorne.
Maybe that one was never about secrets. Maybe some things just belong to a place. A version of yourself. A group of people. A few years you don’t understand are becoming important until they’re already almost over.
I reach for the light switch.
Then I stop and turn back.
The board can go up in the house in the fall. For Percy and Blue. For Rowan. For whoever comes next. They can add to it. They can cross things out. They can make their own stupid rules.
I switch off the light and pull the garage door closed behind me.
For once, I don’t feel like I’m taking Hawthorne with me.
I think I’m finally okay with leaving some of it here.
Thank you so much for reading!!!