Chapter 10
Chapter Ten
Vidar
Two months, eleven diurnals, and approximately nine hours.
I know these numbers the way I know my own name.
I’ve calculated this many times per day since the vow began.
A giant countdown clock in my head. Originally, when I first made this vow of celibacy, I had no idea of a potential bound and no prospects for even a pleasure mate.
It seemed like the right thing to do in order to rid my planet of a faulty legend that had been plaguing Hyrrokin for hundreds of years.
And now I am tormented by that decision.
I lie on top of the bedding in the dark, in the lower suite of another male’s domicile with my cock hard against my stomach.
I have accomplished nothing this entire evening.
Many diurnals of unattended recordings need to be reviewed before the alignment. Finalizing the equipment placement for tomorrow night, which is the single most important night of my professional life, needs to occur. I have not opened the file.
Plus, I was trying to get plenty of sleep.
Heh.
The entire difficulty is that Margaret Reyes is sleeping two floors above me. There is a floor, a staircase and layers of stone between us and yet I can find her in my awareness at any moment I choose, which is a thing I have never been able to do with another being in my life.
She has been in that room upstairs, with Hannibal’s bound for hours.
I want her here, with me.
I have spent this evening, instead of working, doing my best to ignore how much I want to take my erection in my hands and shoot my come as I shout out her name.
I want to know what her mouth tastes like.
Her thighs around my waist, my claws in the follicles at the back of her head. Does she cry out when she orgasms?
And I cannot do the one thing that would help. Not once. Not here, in a shut room, in the dark, in a domicile where every other being is asleep and no being would ever know.
I put both claws flat on the bedding on either side of me, which is undignified, but it seems to work.
Thinking about Margaret’s lush body is not a violation.
And then underneath all of it is the other worry. After this is over, her vacation ends and then she will leave on a transporter disk. Will my female want to return to Salo and never return to Tarvos?
She would send messages, for a while, but I assume this would end.
After all, why would a female of such value wait ten more months for my vow of celibacy to end?
Yes, I can constantly scent her arousal for me but that does not mean that she wants anything more than pleasure mating.
And I now understand that I want more than that.
I am falling in love with this female.
I want her as my bound and my mate for life. I want her as the mother of future Coalstones. But would she be willing to give up her life on Salo to live with me on the grounds of the Academy, here on Tarvos? And does she even want to have offspring?
I do not know.
At the third hour I get up and leave my room, telling myself I want something to eat. Mainly, I’m having trouble staying asleep and I think a snack might help.
I exit through the inside door that leads to the rest of the house.
The domicile is quiet. Skylo sleeps on the top floor with both of the smallest children. I have been in this domicile six diurnals and have never once gone upstairs in the night. The dispenser in the lower suite functions perfectly well and I have used it at all hours without difficulty.
I go up anyway.
The Hellstone residence is large and comfortable. Staying in the downstairs guest quarters with its own exit to the backyard has been no hardship. The only problem is the proximity to Margaret at night, which leaves my body and mind vulnerable to the desire that plagues me constantly.
Somebody has left one small light on in the kitchen. I continue towards my destination. Then I turn the corner and bump directly into Margaret.
She makes a sound, startled, and entirely human. The glass in her hand goes sideways.
I catch her by both arms. My hands are touching her warm skin.
Water splashes across the stone floor and neither of us looks down.
“Vidar.” Her voice is a whisper and her heart beats hard enough that I can hear the thump. “I didn’t…I thought everybody was asleep.”
“I did not expect to meet anyone in the hallway either.”
Neither of us lets go.
Her human hair is pushed back from her face with some sort of head band. She wears whatever humans wear to sleep, which in her case is very little and appears to be made of something soft.
“Oh,” she gasps and steps back and there is a wall.
I follow her.
My body moves, unbidden. And suddenly the lengths of our bodies are almost touching.
My pajamas are tented with my leaking erection throbbing in my pants.
I let go of her arms and my claws are braced on the stone wall on either side of her head.
Her back is against the wall and there is perhaps a hand’s width of air between us.
Neither of us moves.
Her breathing has changed.
Her chin lifts.
Heat comes off her in waves. My forearm is braced beside her head close enough that several strands of the follicles are touching my skin and I can feel each one.
Thinking about sex with Margaret is not a violation.
Standing near a female is not a violation. But all I can think about is my mouth on her delicate skin, my forked tongue licking her nipples and my face between her thick thighs.
I have not touched her mouth. I have not touched her mouth. I have not…
My barbed tail flicks behind me. “Margaret,” I rasp as I gaze at her mouth. “My control is fraying.”
She licks her lips.
“I am telling you,” I say, “so that you can stop it. Because I am not going to be able to.”
She places a palm against my chest. It feels like a brand. “No. Vidar. Step back,” she orders.
My arms drop. I take a deep breath and move back a step. Smoke wafts from my nostrils.
“Oh gods,” she sighs. “I really did think I was just getting a glass of water and going back to bed. I didn’t think you would be up here. I didn’t mean to do this to you.”
“I didn’t mean to do this to you either,” I tell her.
“You didn’t do anything wrong, Vidar. I want everything you have to offer, but I can’t let you break your vow.
Remember, I promised to be strong enough for the both of us.
I promised, out there, the first night.” Her voice is barely above a breath.
“I said that I was going to help you win this. I refuse to be the reason you break your vow.”
I rub my hand on my head. “I cannot sleep,” I growl. “I have not slept properly in six diurnals. I lie on that bedding with my claws flat on either side of me like a youngling because it is the only method I have found that functions.”
Her eyes are enormous in the dark.
“And you are two floors above me. Every night. And I know where you are without trying to know it, which is not a thing I have experienced before. I have never felt this way for another female before.”
“Vidar.”
“Margaret, I want you as more than a pleasure mate. I’m hoping you can be patient and wait for all of this to end. And start to think ahead of what it might be, staying here with me. I’m hoping you can entertain thoughts of moving from Salo to Tarvos.”
“I have been thinking of this too.”
“You have? And you believe you can wait ten more months?”
She exhales. “It would be pure torture, but if you can wait that long then I can wait that long too.”
I stand three paces away with smoke coming out of both nostrils and my cock aching against my trousers and I have never been more grateful to any being for anything.
“I have to tell you something,” she says.
“Yes.”
“Avery told me tonight about how all the Hyrrokin can scent my arousal for you.”
“Ah…Margaret…”
“You knew how I felt about you from the very beginning.” Her voice is very steady now. “That means you knew in the preserve when I stood there and argued with you about it.”
“Yes.”
“Why didn’t you tell me then, or any time after?”
“Because you believed yourself private. In that room, and in the preserve, and every diurnal since. You had made no disclosure to me. You had made no disclosure to any being. I wanted to give you your privacy.”
The hallway is quiet for a long moment.
“Okay, that makes sense.”
“It does?”
“Yes. Pretty much everything you do makes sense to me and that’s why I like you so much. Well, that and your chest and that,” she grins, pointing at my crotch. “And I’m sure I’ll like it a lot more once I’ve been able to see it and touch it.”
“And have it sliding inside of you while I bring you to orgasm.”
“Dear gods…I need to leave before I do something we’ll both regret.” She puts the tips of her fingers against her lips and blows me a kiss. “Good night, Vidar. Love you. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
I stand there, in shock as she turns and walks away.
Love you?