Chapter 35
SOPHIA
Scott follows us in his car, and he arrives before me, leaning up against the side of his car.
I get out as Luca’s men gas up his jet, walking over to Scott.
“Thank you for all of this,” I say, and he glances at me.
“Don’t mention it. But you owe me. Forever.”
I break out in a grin and he does too, laughing.
“I owe you forever,” I promise, and he draws me into a hug, kissing my forehead.
“Are you going to be okay? After, I mean?”
“I’ll be fine,” I say, but I’m not sure I will be. My heart feels like it’s being ripped out of my chest as I wait for Luca to leave the country and my life forever.
“Where is he going?”
I shake my head. “Thought it was best if I didn’t know.”
“Are you sure about this, Sophia? We can’t go back from this. They won’t tie it to us, I was careful, but—”
“It’s the right thing to do, Scott. I promise.”
He doesn’t look like he’s so sure, but he loves me and he trusts me.
I’m a lucky woman to have men like Scott in my life. Men like Luca. Diego. My father. All good men, in their way.
And I want Rosa to have those good influences in her life, too. She just can’t have them all at once. If Luca leaves…
Rosa wakes and starts to cry, and I rush to the car. Luca hums a song in a low voice, and she slowly quiets.
“Where going, Daddy?”
“I—” Luca starts, his voice breaking.
I open the back door and sit next to Rosa, taking her small hand.
“Daddy has to go away for a while.”
“No,” she says petulantly, her bottom lip poking out. “No, Daddy stays.”
“I can’t,” Luca mourns, looking between me and Rosa with wet green eyes.
“It’s going to be okay,” I say, tears filling my eyes as she wrenches away from me.
“No! I didn’t have a daddy and now I do and he’s not going!”
She pulls off her straps and climbs out of the seat, rushing across the center console to climb into Luca’s lap.
He holds her close even though it must hurt his chest. He kisses along the side of her face.
“It’s alright, belissima,” he murmurs. “It’s going to be alright.”
“But I’m your princess!” she pleads. “You said I can have anything I want. And I want you, Daddy!”
She clutches onto his chest but one of Luca’s men is calling to us, gesturing that the jet is ready and there’s no time.
I rip her out of his arms and Luca protests, clutching at her, but I move her away.
“This has to happen,” I tell him over Rosa’s screams. “I’m sorry.”
“I won’t go,” Luca says firmly and I groan, exasperated, moving a fighting and screaming Rosa to my other hip.
“You have to. Please,” I plead, staring at him with streaming eyes.
“I’m not leaving my daughter just to assuage your guilt, Sophia.”
“That’s not why I’m doing this! I’m doing it because you deserve to be free. Rosa needs to know that you’re free.”
Luca stares at me for a long moment then slowly gets out of the car, bracing himself on the metal.
“Rosa Elena,” he says quietly, and for some reason, Rosa shuts up, sniffling and looking at him. “I’ll always be with you. And I’ll write you letters, okay?”
“I can’t read!” she blurts out, and Luca barks out a surprised laugh.
“Mama will read them to you.”
“Promise?”
“I promise, Rosie girl,” I say in a strained voice, my feet planted on the floor, feeling glued in place.
“I gotta go, princess,” he says mournfully, kissing Rosa’s cheek as he walks past me. He looks down at me for a long moment, but he doesn’t kiss me.
He’s mad at me. He’s mad at me for helping, for letting him leave, and I can’t blame him.
I’m mad at myself, too.
I watch him walk up the steps to the jet and it’s like the world cracks open.
Scott comes up to me, taking Rosa, who’s settled down and is just sobbing now like her heart is broken.
She buries her face in Scott’s chest and I look at him, my chest heaving.
“Go with him,” he says softly, and I think maybe I don’t hear him correctly because the engines of the jet crank up.
“What?”
“Go with him. You want to, don’t you?”
“I can’t. I can’t throw everything away,” I say, my breath coming shorter and shorter. I feel like I’m going to have a panic attack.
“What are you throwing away? A career you don’t want? You made this happen, Soph, and I know it isn’t because you don’t want to be with him.”
“Of course I want to be with him, Scott, but I can’t. Rosa—”
Scott pats her back, kissing her temple. “Rosa wants to go, too, Sophia. She needs to be wherever you are. With her family.” He pauses. “I’ll miss her terribly, but it’s the right thing to do.”
“How do you know? How do you know it’s the right thing?”
“I don’t,” Scott says, nearly yelling over the jet engine. They’re getting ready to take off. “I don’t know it’s right, but you do, Soph. Look in your heart. You’ll know what to do.”
He hands me back Rosa and walks away, getting into his car. I watch him go, Rosa wetting my shirt with her tears.
I look between her and Luca, between the jet and my daughter, the light of my life.
Then I start to run.