Chapter Seven #2
“Okay, guys, give us some room, yeah?” Hux says, stepping in like a wall of muscle to clear the path.
“Dee, are you feeling better?” one of the photographers calls out.
“Yes, thank you,” I reply, offering a polite smile that doesn’t quite reach my eyes. He grins and lifts his camera again.
Surprisingly, it’s not a circus. There are maybe five or six photographers who probably showed up on a hunch since we didn’t tell anyone I was being discharged today. They keep a respectful distance, allowing me enough space to hobble to the stretch Hummer without being swarmed.
It’s still uncomfortable. Still invasive.
But manageable.
And for once, I don’t feel like prey.
I feel like someone finding her footing again.
One awkward damn step at a time.
“Colt, are you happy that your fiancée is finally out of the hospital?” someone calls out as I slide into the car.
“Ecstatically happy. Thanks for all your support and well wishes. Have a good day, everyone,” he says, sitting beside me. I smile as he shuts the door and takes my hand. I look around the Hummer at all the people I love, even Huxley, and smile.
They all stayed in New Jersey for me.
They are all here because they love me, and I couldn’t be more grateful right now.
“I just want to say thank you to you all for being here and helping me get to this point, where I can now head back to London. It means so much that you’re all here. I love you all, especially you,” I say, turning to Colt and smiling.
“We’re just grateful that you’re coming home. In the beginning, we thought we would be bringing you home in a casket. And then putting up with Colt, if that had happened, would’ve been hell, so thank you for pulling through,” Dingo says, making us all laugh.
I take in my friends and family and know I couldn’t have gotten this far without them, especially the man sitting right next to me.
He really is my everything, and even though I feel content at this moment, the nagging thought that I’m being utterly selfish by staying with him keeps popping into my mind.
I love him so much, but this man deserves so much more than I can give him now.
Let’s face it, I’m completely selfish, completely and unapologetically selfish.
But I have always been that way. It’s how I was raised, molded to believe the world would bend if I wanted it to.
So having Colt in my life isn’t just something I want, it’s something I need.
Because without him, I’m not sure I’d know how to exist.
For the rest of the ride to the airport, everyone chats amongst themselves as I try my best to keep my overactive imagination and concerns at bay. I’m happy to be going home, but the anxiety about the future and what it holds niggles at the back of my mind.
When we arrive at the airport, Colt helps me up the stairs and inside, boarding the jet. He leads me past our usual seats and into the bedroom, making me lie on the bed to rest.
“Colt, you don’t have to stay in here if you don’t want to. Go and hang out with the guys and do some band stuff. I’m sure they would love to have you back for a while. Plus, I will probably sleep once Tamara gives me my pill,” I say as I lay my head on the pillow.
He shakes his head, smirking. “You think you can get rid of me that easily? Nope, I’m staying right here. The band can wait. You’re my priority, baby, and I won’t let anything come between us. Not even the band,” he states as he moves in, lying on the bed next to me.
Turning my head, I offer him a half smile. He rolls on his side, facing me, and watches me intently.
“I worry, you know… I want to make sure that your return to the spotlight isn’t completely extinguished by my accident. The Super Bowl was 12GUAGE-Slayed’s chance to get back, and I feel like I’m stopping that from happening… again.”
“What do you mean, again?”
“I mean that the whole reason you guys stopped performing the first place was because of me… because we were apart, and now that you’re back together, you’re supposed to be doing this reunion tour, but you’re not because of my accident.
Those minions are going to hate me for keeping you from them…
again.” Releasing a heavy breath, I frown as I think of the evil minion fans that caused the accident in the first place.
Inadvertently, I lower my hand to my stomach, fighting back the tears threatening to fall.
“Hey, I don’t care about the fans. They can wait.
If they’re as loyal as they say they are, then they’ll understand I have to take care of you first. Once you’re fully healed, then I can think about the band.
But for now, it’s all about you, whether you like it or not,” he says with a smirk, but all I can manage is a half-smile in return.
I feel guilty.
I’ve kept Colt away from his commitments for over a month.
And it will probably be at least another month until I’m completely normal.
Well, as normal as a woman going through early menopause can be.
Ugh, I’m not looking forward to getting those symptoms.
I push those thoughts aside for now.
“Fine, but as soon as I’m better, you and the guys are going to go on tour, okay?
To get back in the good books with the fans.
They miss 12GUAGE-Slayed. Hell, I miss 12GUAGE-Slayed.
You need to get back to writing and making the music the world loves.
Deal?” I ask and stick out my hand for him to shake.
He smirks, then nods, forcing his hand into mine and shaking once. “Deal, but you have to be completely healed first, and then I’m going to marry you. I can’t wait for you to be my wife,” he states, leaning over and kissing me softly while the jet takes off on its way back to London.
Colt stayed in the bedroom with me for the entire flight home, just like he promised he would. The rest of the band, along with Mummy and Dad, stayed out of the private space to give us some alone time—our first real moment together outside the walls of that hospital.
It was nice.
Quiet.
Comforting.
Something we both needed.
We didn’t talk much. Mostly, we cuddled, slept, and let the hours drift past in peaceful silence. After everything that’s happened, that silence felt like gold.
We left New Jersey around eleven-thirty this morning and landed safely back on home turf close to midnight London time. And let me say, I don’t think I’ll ever get used to this whole time zone mess. It’s like I blinked and lost a day.
Even though I’ve spent most of the trip sleeping, I’m completely drained.
Physically, emotionally, all of it.
Bone-deep tired.
Colt walks with me as I hobble off the jet on my crutches, his hand never leaving me. Always steady. Always close.
Two stretch Hummers wait on the tarmac. One is for us, with Mummy and Dad, and the other for Sia, Dingo, and Hux.
It’s surreal seeing the group all together again. That is, everyone except Anna and Johnny.
Their absence hangs in the air, heavy and unspoken.
I don’t ask where they are.
No one volunteers the answer.
And I get it.
We all know why.
The guilt tugs at my chest. I already feel like the worst version of myself for the way I treated Anna.
I don’t need anyone to confirm it.
I’m doing a good enough job of that on my own.
I slide into the car, followed by Colt and my parents. They’ve decided to stay at the manor tonight and tomorrow to help Colt take care of me before heading back to their own place for the weekend.
Honestly, I appreciate the support. I do. But all I really want is to go home, curl up, and rest. I’m still grappling with the reality of not being able to give Colt a child. And the more tired I get, the heavier that truth feels.
I love my parents, but what I need most right now is time.
Time with Colt.
Time to process.
Time to breathe.
As we pull up at the manor, I can’t help but smile.
I didn’t realize how much I missed it until I saw it again.
“I’ve been thinking…” I say, breaking the silence, looking at my mummy.
“Maybe I should try being a little more independent. Start relying less on you and Dad financially. Maybe it’s time I found out what it’s like to work like normal people. ”
“Deliah, you do not need to work,” Dad replies almost immediately. “You know I’ll always support you, and I’m sure Colter doesn’t mind buying what you need.”
Colt smirks. “Nope, I don’t mind. I’ll buy you anything you want, Dee. You know that.” He lifts my hand and kisses it before opening the door to let us out.
I smile but shake my head. “I know you both don’t mind.
And I’m grateful, I truly am. But maybe that’s the problem.
I’ve always gotten what I want, but now I don’t know how to stand on my own two feet.
What happens if, God forbid, something happened to either of you?
I’d have no idea how to take care of myself. ”
Dad huffs. “Deliah, sweetheart… if I died, you’d inherit a substantial fortune. You’ll be just fine.”
“And baby,” Colt adds, helping me out of the car and passing me my crutches. “If I died, you’d get everything. The band’s worth, royalties… for life. You’ll never have to worry.”
Exhaling, I shake my head. “That’s not the point. I don’t want to depend on a bank account. I want to accomplish something on my own. To earn my own money. To know I worked for something and didn’t have it handed to me.”
Colt smiles at me with pride while Dad looks at me like I’ve spoken a foreign language.
“I don’t understand,” Dad says slowly. “Do you want me to stop giving you money?”
I laugh softly. “No, Dad. I’m not giving up the trust fund. I want to know that I can do it myself if I have to.”
“You’re smart enough, honey. Don’t ever doubt that,” Mummy says. “And if you want to get a job when you’re better, I think it’s a wonderful idea.”
“Thanks, Mummy.”
“I want you to focus on getting one hundred percent better first,” Colt says as we all walk toward the front door. “Then we’ll look into something. I support whatever you want to do. Got any ideas?”