Chapter Eleven
DEE
The Next Day
Colt called Anna and Johnny to see if it was okay for us to visit. Apparently, they are over the moon at the thought of us coming to see them, but at the same time, hesitant. They don’t want to set me back, which is what I think we’re all worried about.
But I am going to try.
I need to put my own selfish problems behind me and be there for my friends.
On the way to their manor, we stop at the local shops to buy Anna some flowers and Johnny a celebratory box of cigars.
Even though we should probably buy something for Aston, when we get to the baby section, I keep walking —well, hobbling—on my crutches.
Colt doesn’t say anything, just keeps walking beside me.
Not long later, we head up their driveway, and I’m trying to make sense of my emotions.
I’m excited to see them, but nervous about how I left things at the hospital in New Jersey.
Not to mention, I’ll be meeting baby Aston in a matter of moments, which scares me the most. I’m trying so hard not to let it get the better of me.
I keep reminding myself that Anna has just had her firstborn, so I need to show up for her and that this isn’t about me.
Colt reaches across and takes my hand without a word. I glance over, smiling at the gesture. He knows me. He knows what I need. Colt winks as he pulls into the parking spot by the front door.
I exhale loudly, and he frowns.
“You know we don’t have to do this if you’re not up to it. They will understand,” Colt reassures me, lifting my hand to his lips for a gentle kiss.
Clearing my throat, I turn to him. “No. I need to tell Anna how sorry I am. We need to be here. I want to do this, Colt.”
He nods and gets out of the car, circling to open my door. He grabs my crutches from the backseat and hands them to me as I ease out. “I’m proud of you, Dee. You never stop surprising me,” he says as I steady myself on the gravel.
I nod once in thanks, my heart rate picking up. Colt closes the door, grabs the gifts, and walks beside me to the front entrance.
“Okay, last chance. You sure you’re ready?”
With a sharp inhale, I dip my head. My nerves are unraveling me.
Without pushing, Colt leans in and kisses my forehead. When he presses the doorbell, nausea hits hard. My head spins, and I feel heat crawl over my skin. Whether it’s a hot flash or pure anxiety, I have no idea, but I feel unstable.
The door creaks open, and I hold my breath.
I expect disappointment.
Maybe anger.
I think they’re only letting me in because of Colt.
Anna peeks out and immediately smiles at him.
She looks tired but happy, which softens something inside me.
Then she sees me, and her smile falters, but then she opens the door fully and steps forward.
“Oh my God, Dee. It’s so good to see you.
I’ve missed you so much. Thank you for coming,” she says, throwing her arms around me.
The suddenness of it nearly knocks me over.
Stunned, I return the hug with one arm while keeping my balance with the crutches. She sniffles, and I realize she’s crying, and that’s enough to set me off. Tears fill my eyes and spill over.
She pulls back, wiping her cheeks. “You look good. How’s your leg feeling?”
I gape at her in disbelief. I shake my head, trying to find words.
“Oh no, is it hurting? Come inside and sit down,” she says.
“No, it’s just…” I trail off. She waits. “I didn’t expect you to be so kind to me after how I acted in the hospital.”
She frowns. “Dee, don’t. Don’t you carry that guilt. Johnny and I understood then, and we still do. We never wanted to hurt you. We knew you were going through the worst kind of pain. You had every right to feel what you felt. We’re so happy you’re here. We love you.”
How can she be so forgiving?
She kisses my cheek and turns to head inside.
I glance at Colt, who mouths, I love you, and follows.
In the kitchen, Johnny is cradling a bundle in his arms. I gasp softly and make my way to the table.
“Hey, guys, glad you could come,” Johnny says with a tired smile.
Colt hands over the flowers and cigars. “Congrats, you two.”
“Thanks,” Anna says. “You didn’t have to get us anything, but I do love flowers.”
As she fills a vase, I watch Johnny with Aston. The tension in the room isn’t from them, it’s from me. So I speak, “How is he doing? Sorry, we didn’t come sooner.”
Johnny grins. “He’s loud and hungry and hates sleeping. Might be a singer one day.”
We laugh, and for a second, everything feels normal.
Anna and Johnny beam with pride as she strokes Aston’s cheek.
I brace myself and ask, “Can I hold him?”
Anna gasps, clearly emotional.
Colt looks surprised as he assesses me. “You sure?” he asks.
I nod, with my arms out. “I need to.”
Johnny carefully places Aston in my arms. I cradle him, and the second I see his tiny face, my breath catches, not in grief, but in undeniable awe. “He’s perfect,” I whisper, touching his nose. My tears fall freely, but they’re warm. Happy.
He’s perfect.
Colt rushes to my side. “If it’s too much, baby—”
“No,” I interrupt. “I’m simply overwhelmed.”
Anna clutches Johnny and watches me like her heart is full.
Colt brushes my hair from my shoulder, asking softly, “ So you’re okay?”
“I’m great… look at what you made, Anna!” Aston yawns in my arms, and we all melt. Colt wraps his arm around my shoulder, and I lean into him.
We chat.
We laugh.
Anna shows us the nursery—zoo-themed, colorful, adorable—while I push down the twinge of sadness.
“You okay?” Anna whispers.
“Yeah. Just thinking.”
Anna leans in, wrapping her arm around me. “I know you and Colt will have this too, Dee. I don’t know how, but I feel it in my bones.”
I smile up at her weakly. “I hope so. But who would have ever thought Madam A would have put her whips down in exchange for breast pumps and diapers?” I tease.
Anna grins, waggling her brows. “Who said that Madam A has gone anywhere? When Aston sleeps, Johnny and I can still play…” She pauses with a huge grin. “Once I am all healed up, that is.”
I can’t help but let out a laugh. A real belly laugh.
One that I haven’t felt in ages, and it’s nice to feel a little more like myself.
Being around my best friend, and her being exactly as she always is around me—like nothing has ever changed between us—is not what I was expecting, but it is precisely what I needed.
And I love her for it!
Suddenly, Johnny peers around the corner, his loud voice booming through the room. “Lunch is ready.”
Colt grins. “Finally. I’m starving.”
“Men,” Anna says, rolling her eyes, as she takes my hand and we walk to the dining room.
As we sit around the table and talk weddings and plans, I soak it all in.
There will be more bad days.
But for now?
This feels like a real win.