Chapter Sixteen #2
He glances down at his crotch, disgusted. “I’m sorry, Dee. I just can’t get it up for you anymore. I try. But how can I, when you look like that?” He points to my stomach again.
Oh my fucking god! Shame slams into me like a freight train.
“Colt, I—”
“I can’t. You’ve lost your femininity. What am I supposed to do with someone who isn’t even a woman anymore?”
I take a step back, gutted.
“You need to leave.” His voice is steel, then he shoves me. Hard.
I scream as I fall.
The floor beneath me vanishes into an endless, black, gaping void.
My scream echoes as I plummet into nothing.
“Dee… Dee, baby, wake up!” Colt’s voice cuts through the blackness as I scream, my arms flailing, trying to catch myself from the fall that never ends.
My eyes fly open, and I gasp, drenched in sweat, the echo of my scream still leaving my throat raw. The room is dark, and Colt is cradling me tightly against his chest, his arms wrapped protectively around me.
“I’m right here. It was just a dream. You’re okay,” he soothes.
But I’m not okay.
I’m shaking, trembling as the tears stream down my flushed cheeks. My skin burns, and my heart pounds so hard it hurts.
Panic bubbles up, fierce and fast.
That dream felt too real.
What if he really isn’t attracted to me anymore?
I start rocking, unable to stop, breath shallow and broken.
“Talk to me, Dee,” Colt says gently, smoothing his hand over my hair. His voice is low, steady, trying to anchor me, but it’s not enough. I can’t catch my breath. I can’t stop. “Sweetheart, please. Talk to me. Tell me what’s wrong,” he begs, holding me tighter.
“You’re not attracted to me,” I choke out, louder than I mean to, voice shaking with a sob.
“What? Yes, I am,” he replies instantly, pulling me closer.
“You said… you said you can’t get hard for someone who isn’t even a woman,” I mumble, wiping my nose across my forearm like some petulant child.
“What are you talking about?”
“You don’t touch me anymore,” I whisper, eyes locked on nothing. “You don’t want me. You think I’m less of a woman. And if you’re going to leave me, then just go.”
Colt grabs my face, his palms firm against my cheeks, forcing me to look into his eyes. “Where the hell are these stupid ideas coming from?”
“You haven’t made love to me in nearly three months. You barely touch me anymore. I can’t make you want me. I’m empty. Hollow. A shell. Half a woman. I wouldn’t be attracted to me either, so how could you be?”
“Jesus, Dee.” He pulls back, eyes scanning my face. “You really think I haven’t touched you because I don’t want you?”
“I can’t even make you hard,” I blurt, bitterness and heartbreak mingling.
He shakes his head like I’ve lost my mind. “Dee, I was hard for you last night. You just didn’t see it. You’re not thinking straight.”
I press my hands to my temples, everything spinning. “I don’t know what’s real anymore, Colt. That dream… it felt so real. And it makes sense. You haven’t touched me, so of course I think it’s because I disgust you.”
His jaw tightens. “Baby, I’ve stayed away because I don’t want to hurt you. That’s all it is.”
I scoff, wiping at my face again. “That’s just a pretty excuse. I need you, Colt. I need to feel you. I need to know you still love me, because right now I feel like I’ll never be enough for you again.”
His face twists with something between guilt and frustration, like he doesn’t know what to say or what move to make.
I sob again, just a slight broken sound, and his grip on my face tightens.
He leans in and kisses me, slow and sure, his lips brushing mine with gentle purpose.
The sob catches in my throat as his mouth moves over mine, soft and coaxing.
My body stills, his touch beginning to calm the storm raging inside me.
Our lips part, our tongues meet, and for a moment, the fear starts to fade.
His thumbs stroke my cheeks, soothing. Loving.
Then the electricity surges through me, the spark I always feel when he touches me, and I need more. My hands drift up his bare chest, my fingers desperate to feel skin on skin.
Colt shifts, guiding me back toward the bed, lowering me gently, his mouth never leaving mine. His hand slips from my face and trails down to cup my breast. I arch into his touch, needing that contact, desperate for it. His kiss deepens, lips firm and possessive now, and heat builds between us.
I ache for him. My body pulses, my clit throbbing with want.
He pulls back a fraction, and I whimper in protest, but his lips brush mine again as he begins undoing the buttons on my pajama top.
I thread my fingers through his hair, clinging to him as he opens the fabric, exposing my breasts and stomach.
His hand grazes my bare breast, and a deep groan rumbles from his throat.
I moan into his mouth, my breath hitching.
Colt moves lower, kissing along my collarbone, then down to my nipple. He licks around the hardened bud before taking it into his mouth.
A gasp rips from me. My back arches as he blows over the wet skin, then bites gently, tugging. My head falls back against the pillows as a shiver wracks my spine.
He’s rougher tonight. More intense. And I crave every second of it.
His hand glides down my stomach, pausing at the waistband of my pajama pants. Colt’s mouth trails kisses along my ribs, over my scarred skin like it’s precious, not flawed. Then he moves between my legs, kneeling, his palms dragging over my thighs, making my skin tingle.
He grips the waistband and tugs—my hips lift in silent permission. He peels off both my pants and panties in one swift motion, tossing them aside like they’re in the way. My heart pounds as his gaze crawls over my bare body.
His eyes are pure fire.
Possessive.
Dark with want.
I sit up just long enough to shrug off my pajama top, letting it fall behind me. Naked now, I lie back, completely exposed beneath his stare. He smirks, grabs my knees, and presses them upward, spreading me wide open for him.
I swallow thickly.
He leans in and licks a hot, slow stripe right up the center of my pussy, and I cry out, body arching into him as heat scorches through me.
“Don’t ever think you don’t turn me on, baby.” His voice is low, gruff, and commanding. “Look at what you do to me.”
I glance down as he strokes his thick, erect cock—slow and deliberate. My breath catches. I whimper, and he smirks like the cocky bastard he is, knowing exactly what he’s doing to me. Then he dives back in, burying his face between my thighs.
My fingers find his hair, clutching as his tongue works me over with reckless precision. He licks, sucks, and flicks my clit with relentless focus. I moan, my hips rolling up against his mouth as pressure coils low in my belly. Then he groans, and the vibrations make me gasp.
“Oh shit, Colt,” I pant, and he growls in response, attacking my clit faster.
He slides a thick finger inside me, curling it expertly to hit my sweet spot, and I cry out.
His tongue and finger move in perfect sync, pushing me to the edge so fast I’m trembling, writhing beneath him.
The pressure is unbearable, deliciously so.
My hands tighten in his hair as my thighs clamp around his head, and then… I detonate.
My orgasm crashes through me like a tidal wave. I scream Colt’s name, body seizing and shaking as he keeps licking me through it, drawing out every last tremor. When the shudders finally start to ease, he slows, easing his finger out, his mouth kissing my thigh before I collapse back, panting.
I can’t speak. I don’t even know if I can breathe.
Colt looks up at me, his mouth glistening, and chuckles darkly. “Good?” he asks.
I manage a weak nod and mumble something incoherent.
He climbs onto the bed, settling between my legs again, his cock rigid and ready, hovering just above where I ache for him the most.
“I love you, Dee,” he says roughly. “You’re the epitome of beauty to me. You’ve always turned me on, and it’s been hell staying away from you. But you have to promise…” He rubs a hand through his hair, his hesitation unenviable. “You will tell me if anything hurts.”
I nod, too breathless to speak, and his mouth crashes onto mine. I taste myself on his tongue, and somehow it turns me on even more. His body presses into me, skin to skin, and it’s like heaven.
I’ve missed this.
Missed him.
My hands run up his back, over those hard shoulder blades as he grinds against me. His cock finds my entrance, and I gasp, my hips tilting in invitation.
He enters me slowly, inch by inch, and we both moan, long and deep. He sinks into me fully, and it’s like everything clicks back into place.
We still, just breathing, just being in that connection.
My heart swells as I meet his gaze, his sparkling blue eyes brimming with lust and love.
He begins to move, slow and deliberate, like he’s savoring every second.
He slides out and back in, hips rocking with control, his cock rubbing every sensitive inch of me.
I tilt my pelvis, needing more, and he obliges, going deeper.
His pace builds, and his rhythm is steady but increasing.
Passion coils tight between us.
Then his hand grabs my wrist, pinning it above my head.
Yes.
And his other hand wraps around my neck.
Yes.
The dominance, the strength in his grip, it’s exactly what I need. So I kiss him harder, matching his thrusts, our bodies moving as one. He growls into my mouth, hips driving deeper. His rhythm changes—grinding, rotating, fucking—and I cry out with every shift.
“Oh, baby…” He moans, circling his hips to hit just the right angle.
I buck beneath him, overwhelmed, the fire inside me threatening to explode again. He grits his teeth, thrusting faster, deeper. His hands tighten just a little more.
My orgasm builds—unstoppable.
I whimper, my body clenching around him, and he growls again, fucking me harder.
Then it happens, everything breaks. I scream his name as I shatter, my walls squeezing him, and with a guttural moan, he loses it too, spilling into me as we ride out the bliss together.
We collapse, sweaty and tangled, mouths still moving lazily against each other’s.
I feel full, sated—whole.
Colt presses his forehead to mine, breathing raggedly. “Did I hurt you?”
I shake my head, lips curving into a lazy smile. “No. That was perfect.”
He grins, brushing his nose against mine. “I forgot how fucking good it is with you. Why the hell did I wait so long?”
“I tried to tell you, but you’re a stubborn arse, Colter Slade.”
He chuckles darkly. “Guess that means we’ve got three months of lost time to make up for. Hope you’re up for it.”
“Oh, fuck, yes,” I say with a smirk, and his cock twitches inside me.
“Miss Norman, you know what swearing does to me.”
“Exactly why I fucking swore.”
He laughs, kisses me again, and rocks his hips.
He’s hard again? There’s no stopping him now.
And with every thrust, every whispered word, every breathless kiss…
He makes me fall even harder in love with him.