twelve
Leo's POV
I don't know what happened.
One minute I was walking beside her, just making sure she didn't fall over from her hangover and forget her own name-
The next minute I'm sitting under a tree spilling pieces of my life I don't tell anyone.
And she's looking at me with those eyes-soft, warm, too understanding for her own good-and suddenly every wall I've built since childhood felt like wet paper.
I don't do this.
I don't open up.
Not to friends.
Not to hookups.
Not to anyone.
But her?
With her I barely have control over my own mouth.
And when she leaned in, looking at me like she was trying to read every thought I've ever had-
My heart damn near beat out of my chest.
I'm walking beside her now, trying to keep my breathing normal, trying not to stare at the way her curls bounce with each step, trying not to think about how close she got to me on that hill.
"You seem peaceful around me."
She said that.
To me.
The guy everyone says is mean.
Cold.
Dangerous.
Too quiet.
Too tense.
Too angry-looking.
Peaceful.
If I wasn't me, I'd laugh.
Instead, I keep glancing at her like an idiot, hoping she doesn't notice the way I can't take my eyes off her.
When we reach her building, she stops under the awning, sunlight touching her in this soft, golden way that makes her look unreal.
Her hoodie is too big.
Her eyes are sleepy.
Her lips are glossy.
She smells like vanilla and warmth.
She looks at me and smiles-small, soft.
I feel it in my chest.
"You okay?" she asks.
I nod once. "Yeah."
Lie.
"Are you okay?" I ask back.
"I think so," she breathes. "Thank you. For today."
I shake my head. "Don't thank me."
"Why not?"
Because I did all of this willingly.
Wantingly.
Because I wanted to see her.
Wanted to hear her voice.
Wanted to be the one she looked for when she needed comfort.
But I can't say that.
So I say:
"You needed company. It's whatever."
She smiles again-brighter this time.
I look away because if I don't, I might actually touch her.
Her voice softens. "Leo?"
"Yeah?"
"Earlier... when I said you seem peaceful around me... I meant it."
My brain stops.
Completely.
Nothing moves except my heartbeat.
She meant it.
She sees me differently than everyone else does.
I swallow hard and force out, "You shouldn't say stuff like that."
"Why?" she asks, genuinely innocent.
I look at her.
Really look.
At her eyes.
Her lips.
Her curls.
The soft curve of her cheek.
"Because I'll take it seriously," I admit quietly.
Her breath catches.
I want to kiss her.
God, I want to kiss her.
It hits me so hard I have to step back an inch or two before I do something stupid.
But she steps forward a little-as if she didn't even realize she was doing it.
Her curls frame her face perfectly.
Her lips part just slightly.
Her eyes flick to my mouth and back up.
I stop breathing.
She whispers, "Leo..."
And that's it.
I'm done.
Finished.
Buried.
I lean forward-
Then stop myself at the last possible second.
No.
She's hungover.
She's emotional.
She's vulnerable.
If I kiss her now, I won't stop.
And I can't be that guy.
So I step back.
Painfully.
"We should-uh-go inside," I mutter, voice way too low, way too rough.
She studies me, like she can see every thought I'm fighting.
"Yeah," she whispers. "Okay."
She reaches for her keys.
Almost drops them.
I catch them easily.
Our fingers brush.
Electric.
She looks up at me.
I swear my heart stops again.
Careful, I hand them back. "Go rest."
"Text me later?" she asks softly.
She doesn't know what that does to me.
"Yeah," I say. "I will."
She walks into her building slowly, turning one last time to look at me before the door shuts.
And when she disappears-
I let out a breath I didn't realize I'd been holding.
I run a hand down my face.
"Fuck."
I'm in trouble.
Real trouble.
Because I've liked girls before.
Been with girls before.
But I've never felt-
This.
This pull.
This softness.
This instinct to protect her.
This need to be around her.
This weird, calm feeling I get when she talks to me like I'm more than a reputation.
I walk back across campus, trying to get myself together.
It doesn't work.
Every step, all I can think about is:
Her laugh.
Her lip gloss.
Her voice saying my name.
Her head resting back against that tree.
Her calling me peaceful.
Her eyes dropping to my mouth.
Her leaning in.
I groan and tilt my head back toward the sky.
"Jesus Christ."
This girl is going to ruin me.
And the worst part?
I think I want her to.