thirtyfive
Leo's POV
She sits on the far end of the couch.
Not far enough to feel cold.
But not close enough for comfort.
Her knees are drawn up slightly, fingers tangled on top of them.
She looks small.
Not weak-just... guarded.
I don't sit beside her right away.
I don't want to crowd her.
I take the other end of the couch, back straight, hands clasped tightly like if I loosen my grip, I'll reach for her and ruin everything.
She looks at me.
I look back.
We both inhale at the same time.
"I want to understand," I say quietly. "Whatever you're ready to tell me."
She hesitates.
For a long time.
Then she says something that cracks me open:
"You really hurt me."
My chest tightens. "I know. I-"
"Not because of you," she says softly.
"But because of... what it reminded me of."
I shut up.
I listen.
She swallows, eyes glistening.
"Freshman year," she whispers, "I... liked this guy. Malik."
Everything inside me goes sharp.
I clench my jaw.
She continues, voice trembling but steady:
"He was older. Charming. A starter on your team. And he made me feel seen. Pretty. Wanted."
Her voice breaks.
"And then when Caleb told me how he was talking about me in the locker room, telling his friends he was only talking to me because-"
She stops.
Pain flashes across her face.
I feel something in me snap.
She forces the words out:
"-because he thought I'd sleep with him. And once I did, he'd be done."
My breath leaves my body in one violent exhale.
She looks down.
"I never slept with him," she says quietly.
"I never slept with anyone. The other night was my first time. I-"
Her voice cracks.
"I trusted you. And when I saw that girl in your shirt, I thought-God, I thought I made the same mistake twice."
She wipes her cheeks with the back of her hand.
I feel sick.
Not at her.
Never at her.
At what she went through.
At what she thought of me.
At myself for letting her feel even a sliver of that pain.
"Liya..." I whisper, my voice rough.
"I would NEVER do that to you."
She sniffles. "I know that now."
"No," I say again, leaning forward, elbows on my knees.
"You don't understand. I need you to hear this."
She meets my eyes.
And I let everything out.
"All the shit people say about me-the fights, the drinking, the anger-it's real. I don't hide from it."
I swallow.
"But I've never used a girl. Never fucked someone to drop them. Never lied to get them in my bed. That's not me. It's never BEEN me."
Her eyes soften just a little.
I go on.
"When I say you're the only one I wanted in my apartment..."
My voice cracks.
"...I mean it. When I saw her open that door-when I saw your face-I swear to god it felt like I was choking."
Her lips part, trembling.
I inhale shaky.
"And when you ran? I felt like I deserved it."
Her eyes widen slightly.
"But you don't deserve to feel used," I whisper.
"You don't deserve to feel like someone only wants your body.
You're-fuck, Liya, you have no idea. I think about you all the damn time.
Everything about you. The way you laugh, your art, your voice when you get excited.
I didn't want you because of sex. I wanted sex because it was YOU. "
She stares at me.
Soft.
Surprised.
Vulnerable.
"And what happened freshman year with that asshole-"
My voice drops dangerously.
"...he's lucky Caleb got to him first."
Her breath hitches.
I shift closer to her.
Slowly.
Giving her every second to pull back.
She doesn't.
Her eyes are glassy.
Her shoulders trembling.
"I'm sorry you went through that," I whisper.
"And I'm sorry I reminded you of it. That's on me. I should've been more careful with your heart."
She looks up at me-really looks-like she's seeing me clearly for the first time.
And then she whispers:
Those three words hit me harder than any punch.
My breath stutters.
I don't think-
I can't think-
I just move closer until we're inches apart.
"You missed me?" I breathe.
She nods.
Slow.
Shy.
Real.
My voice drops, low, rough, sincere:
"I missed you more than you know."
Her eyes flick to my mouth.
And that's all it takes.
I don't touch her.
Not yet.
I lean in just enough that our breaths mix.
Warm.
Shaking.
Wanting.
She whispers:
"...Can I kiss you?"
I swear my whole spine lights up.
I cup her cheek so gently it hurts.
"You never have to ask," I whisper.
And then our lips meet-
Slow.
Deep.
Soft.
Not hungry-
not yet-
just desperate in the quiet way, like we're both saying I'm here, I'm here, I'm here.
She moves closer, straddling me without thinking, and I let out a low, quiet groan against her mouth.
Her hands slide into my hair.
My hands grip her waist, steady but careful.
The kiss turns warmer-
deeper-
her breath catching softly, mine shaking.
She pulls back an inch, forehead resting against mine.
"I really thought I lost you," she whispers.
I shake my head, brushing my thumb over her lip.
"You'll never lose me."
Her breath trembles.
She kisses me again-
longer this time-
slower-
but with that spark that promises where this could go if we let it.
My hands slide up her back, pulling her flush against me, and she lets out a soft sound in the back of her throat that I feel everywhere.
"Liya..." I murmur against her neck.
"Yeah?" she whispers, breathless.
"I'm not going anywhere."
We stay there-
her in my lap,
my arms around her,
our breaths tangled-
and it's slow, warm, intimate.
The air is charged.
And we're both shaking.
This time from relief.
And maybe something else.