Chapter 17 Lev
LEV
The burn of whiskey is a welcome distraction from the fire spreading through my side as Vivika presses a cloth soaked in antiseptic against my wound. I hiss through my teeth and grip the arm of the couch, watching her work with steady hands that belie the fear I can still see lingering in her eyes.
"Sorry," she mumbles, her brow furrowed in concentration as she examines the torn flesh above my hip. "I know it hurts."
"Keep going." I take another long pull from the bottle she handed me, letting the alcohol dull the edges of the pain. "You're doing fine."
She's found gauze and medical tape in the first aid kit, along with a small suture kit that she eyes with obvious trepidation before setting it aside.
The bullet carved a furrow through skin and muscle but didn't lodge inside, which means she can clean and bandage it without having to dig around for fragments. Small mercies.
"Is the whiskey a good idea?" I ask, watching her tear open a packet of sterile gauze. "If I pass out, you could just run. Walk right out the front door and disappear before I wake up."
Vivika pauses, hands hovering over my wound, and meets my eyes with compassion.
"I saw those women at the bus station, Lev.
I believe you now." She shakes her head slowly and returns her attention to my side, pressing fresh gauze against the cleaned wound.
"I want to help them. I have no intention of leaving. "
Her words loosen my chest and I sip more of the whiskey.
Unlike men in my world whose word I could never bank on fully—there's too much underhanded backstabbing—I fully believe what she says.
She's given me no reason to doubt her whatsoever.
She's been transparent in everything she's said and done thus far.
I watch her work in silence for a while, admiring the way she bites her lower lip as she tapes the bandage in place.
She's beautiful when she's so focused and determined, so different from the trembling woman who almost shot me in the face an hour ago.
That fear seems to have mostly melted away again, just as previous bouts of fear have, and it's like the only thing she's thinking of is caring for me.
When she's finished, I reach out and catch her hand before she can pull away, bringing her fingers to my lips and pressing a kiss against her knuckles. Her breath catches in her throat, and I hold her gaze as I lower her hand but keep it clasped in mine.
"Thank you," I say quietly, "for patching me up."
"You got shot protecting me." Her voice is barely above a whisper. "It's the least I could do."
"Vivika." I tug gently on her hand, pulling her closer until she's perched on the edge of the couch beside me. "As long as you're with me, no one will ever hurt you. I'll make sure of it. I'll burn down anyone who tries."
I'm a fool. It's impossible for me to say what I'm really feeling.
What I meant was, if she stays with me permanently, I can protect her.
Because I want her here. I want her to stay and be with me, not to put on an act.
But to be my partner, to come home to her when I've had a long day, and to maybe someday bear my children.
"What happens if I actually go home?" she asks after a quiet moment. "After all of this is over and you've gotten what you want from the Veches—what happens to me?"
It's part of the plan we never fully thought out.
I was so focused on getting her to be Ana Veche and fool her crooked brother that I didn't take into account the fact that Yaros will go on a rampage when we've stolen his routes.
Vivika would have to leave Russia to avoid him, and who knows how far his reach extends. He could chase her around the world.
"I don't know," I admit, feeling a bit of sadness well up.
"Yaros might know who you really are by now.
His people have been digging and asking questions, trying to verify Ana's identity.
If they've figured out you're the imposter, they may have traced you back to your real life…
" I trail off because saying those words out loud feels painful.
I don't want her to be any more scared than she is. I don’t want her to promise to stay with me out of fear.
It has to be her choice because she wants me.
"So they'll come after me anyway. Even if I go home and try to pretend none of this ever happened.
" We've already discussed this so I know she knows it, but this time, instead of a reaction of panic and fear, she's looking me dead in the eyes acknowledging the truth.
On some level, she's never truly faced this potential until now.
"It's possible." I squeeze her hand, wishing I could offer her something more reassuring than the ugly truth. "I won't lie to you about that."
She grows quiet, processing what I've told her, and I watch the emotions play across her face—fear, uncertainty, resignation. Then I tug on her hand again, pulling her down onto the couch beside me, and she comes willingly, curling against my uninjured side with her head resting on my chest.
"I want you," I tell her softly, my hand coming up to stroke through her dark hair.
"Vivika, I want you." My heart feels like a battlefield.
Admitting to needing her in my life is too desperate, though I can admit to myself that I do.
I just can't say the words. Telling her I want her is the best I can offer, but when I say that, I mean something I don’t know how to articulate any other way.
She lifts her head and looks at me, curving her lips into a smile. "Now?" She snickers. "You just got shot, Lev. You should be resting."
She thinks I mean sex.
And I do want that—I want her beneath me, around me, crying out my name—but it's more than that. It's so much more than that, and I don't know how to make her understand.
"I mean it," I say, cupping her face in my hand and tilting it toward mine. "I want you."
Vivika tilts her head up toward me, offering her hips for a kiss, and while this isn't at all what I was trying to communicate to her, I won’t refuse her.
Her lips are a treasure worth more than my weight in gold.
I cherish her touch and crave the chance to connect with her like this as much as possible.
I lean in and capture her lips with mine.
Our tongues tangle in a dance that ignites every nerve in my body.
She responds with equal passion, her hands sliding up my chest, fingers digging into my shirt as if anchoring herself to me.
The pain in my side fades into the background, overshadowed by the heat building between us.
She breaks the kiss first and begins unbuttoning her blouse with trembling fingers. I watch her, mesmerized, as she peels the shirt away, followed by her bra, revealing the smooth curves of her breasts. "You're stunning," I mumble. "Every inch of you drives me wild, Vivika."
She stands briefly to shimmy out of her pants and underwear, stepping out of them and making my cock twitch in anticipation.
Naked now, she looks like a goddess, her skin flushed, eyes locked on mine and I reach for her, pulling her back toward me, and she straddles my lap.
Her body is so close but seems so far away still, and I'm eager to fix that problem.
I shove my pants down just enough to slip my dick out as she holds herself over my lap.
Her self-control is far better than mine.
I'd have my dick buried in her instantly, but she teases and strokes me, rubbing my head through her moisture as she smirks at me playfully.
When I grip her hip and nudge her closer, she sinks.
I guide her hips as she lowers onto me, enveloping me inch by inch until I'm buried deep inside her. A groan escapes my throat at the exquisite sensation, her walls clenching around me so slick and needy
"Fuck, you feel incredible," I praise, my hands gripping her ass, squeezing the firm flesh. "It's like your body was made to fit mine alone."
She starts moving, rolling her hips in a rhythm that sends sparks through my veins.
Her breasts sway with each thrust. I meet her motions, driving up into her, and her moans fill the room.
Having her ride me like this makes it easier on my side, but I feel blood trickling down my back and know the scab's come loose.
But I'm not quitting. I spank her ass sharply, making her gasp, and she tightens around me even more.
"Good girl," I growl, my fingers digging into her hips to guide her faster. "Ride me harder, Viv. Show me how much you need this." She obeys, grinding down with more force, as her nails rake across my shoulders, leaving trails of fire that only heighten the pleasure.
I wrap one hand around her throat, applying just enough pressure to make her eyes widen and her breath hitch in that intoxicating way. She doesn't pull away. Instead, she leans into it, becoming more frantic.
"Look at you," I mewl, grinning at her as her head arches back, exposing the column of her neck. "You think you're in control, don't you?" Still, I let her lead, rolling and roiling until I'm on the edge and gritting my teeth to stop myself from exploding.
I can feel her climax ready to crest. Her body trembles, her rhythm faltering as she chases release so I thrust deeper, angling to hit that spot that makes her cry out, my thumb finding her clit and circling it.
"Come for me," I command, praising her through gritted teeth. "You're doing so amazing, squeezing me tight. Let go, Viv—come all over my dick. Let that pretty pink pussy gush."
She shatters, her body convulsing around me, walls pulsing in waves that nearly pull me over the edge with her. She screams my name, her head thrown back, and I hold her through it, spanking her again to prolong the ecstasy, watching her face contort in bliss.
"That's it," I growl, "so gorgeous when you come. You take my breath away every time."