7. Chapter Five
CHAPTER FIVE
MICHAEL
I ’ve been sitting outside the front door for hours now, contemplating how I might be able to make things right. Or is it even worth it? Everyone always talks about the good things with their mates. They never talk about the hardships that come, especially those faced in the first days of meeting.
Did mates ever have hardships like this in the beginning? I know that Xavier and Rylee had a difficult time, but at the same time, they got along and hung out. Their experience doesn’t even compare with mine… Mae is deaf and is terrified of me.
Things were going great this morning, Mae greeted me, and then I had to ruin it when she got hurt. We took one step in the right direction, and now we are ten steps in the opposite direction.
This is the bad feeling I had this morning.
“What are you doing outside?” Xavier asks, bringing me out of my thoughts.
I sigh, and he sits down right next to me. I look at Xavier, and then look at my hands.
“I did something bad, and your mate sent me outside,” I explain.
I’m pretty sure Rylee already told Xavier what happened. Xavier is never home this early unless he finishes his work early.
Which rarely happens right now.
“Rylee just told me to come, she didn’t tell me what happened. So, as good friends talking to each other, tell me what happened. Not as alpha to warrior, but as good friends,” Xavier says softly.
I don’t like this one bit, but maybe Xavier can help me. He didn’t have it easy with Rylee, but he made it look easy.
“It was going well this morning. I signed good morning to Mae, and she signed back. We dropped your kids off, and then came back to the house. While the girls were sitting in the living room, I was in the kitchen. I was washing the dishes when I heard something break,” I say.
I take a deep breath and try to remember everything that happened. It feels like a blur right now.
“I smelled her blood, and my wolf took control. I ran into the room, held her against my body, and put pressure on her wound. Rylee tried to tell me to get off, but I wasn’t paying attention. She touched my shoulder and said that Mae was shaking. She was shaking so bad in my arms,” I say, running my hands through my hair.
Xavier looks at me and pats my back. He stays silent while I finish the story, and I appreciate that.
“I let go of Mae gently, and she ran straight to the corner of the room. She huddled down against the wall with so much fear in her eyes. I backed away from her, and that’s when Rylee told me to sit outside the front door. She said she was going to try and calm her down. I don’t even know if it was successful or not. I’ve been sitting here ever since,” I say with a sigh.
Xavier and I sit in silence, just looking at the forest that surrounds the house. It really is a beautiful day outside, perfect for a walk. I start to think about Mae and I walking around the territory together. Exasperated, I let out a sigh and try to think of something else.
Anything other than my mate. She’s currently inside, terrified, because of me. I did that to her, and the guilt is eating me up inside.
“You know, it wasn’t easy for Rylee and me. She and I had a lot of ups and downs. I didn’t get to see her for four days straight because I wouldn’t mark her. She was weary of me in the beginning, just like Mae is with you, but I didn’t give her a reason to be afraid,” Xavier says, looking at me. “I know that what you did wasn’t right, and it scared your mate. Just give her some space, and then show her that you aren’t a bad person. Give her a reason to like you. Find out what she loves to do. You can also ask Rylee what you can do to get on her good side again so she isn’t afraid of you.”
I look down at my hands. “Yeah, okay. I can do that. I’ll ask Rylee what I can do. Hopefully Mae will come around and not be so terrified of me. This is really hard, and I don’t know how you survived.”
“It wasn’t an easy journey. I knew from the beginning that I wanted Rylee by my side. I also knew that it wasn’t going to be a piece of cake, but I was prepared to go through hard times for her. I showed her that I wasn’t going to give up on her.”
Xavier stands up and starts to walk back to the packhouse.
“Michael, don't give up on her. She’ll start to feel the mate pull and won’t be able to stay away from you forever,” Xavier says over his shoulder. “I’ll see you later tonight.”
“Bye, Alpha,” I say.
I watch him run into the forest in the direction of the pack house. I don’t know if I am allowed back into the house, and I don’t want to go in if I’m not. I don’t want to scare Mae again.
I also don’t want the wrath of Rylee right now. She wasn’t happy with me when I overreacted with Mae. I know it takes time for Mae to calm down and be able to forgive me. Well, I hope she softens quickly, but she could hold a grudge for a while. I wouldn’t put it past her.
I move across the deck, take a seat, and lean my head back on the railing, Ugh, why did I do that?
I am clueless when it comes to girls and relationships. How do I show a girl that I won’t give up? I’ve never tried to get to know a girl before. That is, other than Rylee. My time has always been filled with training, running perimeters, and then guarding the luna. I especially didn’t want to get distracted when guarding her, but I also wanted to wait for my mate.
I hear the door open, and Rylee’s head sticks out. Her face reassures me before she opens the door more. She walks over to me and extends her hand out.
“You can come back inside now. Mae is calmed down. She also feels sorry for reacting that way. Just be careful around her, okay,” Rylee says. “I know you didn’t mean anything by it, and your wolf probably took control, but just be careful. She’s delicate right now.”
I can’t form any words, so I nod instead. My wolf and I are overjoyed that Rylee is letting us back into the house, closer to our mate. Nerves run through me as I think about going back into the house because I don’t want to do anything to scare Mae again.
I grab Rylee’s hand, and she helps me up, well, I mostly help myself up. Rylee walks through the door, and I follow her, keeping my head down so I don’t scare Mae. I can see her looking at me out of my peripherals. I keep my eyes focused ahead of me so I won’t run over and see if she’s okay.
“I’ll be in the kitchen,” I say, not giving myself the temptation of being in the same room as her.
Before Rylee can even respond, I walk straight to the kitchen. I grab a coffee mug and fill it with black coffee. Sitting down, I slowly start to sip my coffee. I’m not motivated to read the book about sign language. My brain won’t be able to focus on it, and I don’t want to have to read it twenty times to finally understand it.
“How are you holding up?” Rylee prods, sitting down in front of me.
“Good,” I respond, telling a half truth.
I don’t like talking about my feelings. That’s something that Rylee will never get out of me. She has tried several times but has never been successful.
Rylee glares at me, and I look at her, opening my mouth. I really want to ask what I can do to get on Mae’s good side so she won’t be afraid of me. Rylee looks at me with an expected face, wanting me to continue. I take in a deep breath.
Ten seconds of courage.
“What can I do to help her trust me, for her to not be afraid of me?” I ask.
Rylee grins from ear to ear. “I’ve been waiting for you to ask that.”
I give her a glare this time. It’s like she knows what I’m about to ask or have been thinking for a while.
“Play with my kids in front of her, say good morning, and ask how she’s doing, make her something to eat, and give her smiles,” Rylee explains. “I know that while you were playing with my kids, she couldn’t keep her eyes off of you. I also saw her smile after you said good morning to her.”
“And then I had to ruin it this afternoon,” I reply.
“Just a small setback. She felt bad that I sent you outside. She’s scared of men, but she’s starting to realize who you are to her. Just give her time, and do these little things. They’ll all add up, and she’ll start to warm up to you.”
I feel a little bit better. “I hope all of this will work.”
“Trust me, it will. Just be patient. And if she gets hurt, sign to her first before you touch her.”
I nod my head. I should have done that to begin with, but my wolf took control, and I couldn’t stop myself. That’s one of the problems about being a werewolf, when it comes to your mate, your wolf can take over, and you can’t do anything about it.
It usually only happens if they are in danger, but it can still happen.
“How about you make some soup for us. I’ll bring Mae in here to eat. Don’t move too fast around her, and don’t get close. She’s still a little jumpy from the incident,” Rylee says, leaving the kitchen.
I get up and walk over to the stove. The only soup I know how to make that won’t take too long is chicken noodle soup. I hope Mae won’t care that she had it a couple of nights ago.
I go to the cupboard that has the packets and pull some out. If this was my kitchen, I would make everything from scratch, but it isn’t, so I’ll have to make do with what Rylee has. I grab the pot and put water in it before placing it over the hot burner.
While I’m waiting for the water to boil, I get everything I need so I can just pour it into the pot. Grabbing some of the shredded chicken from the fridge, I put a portion out into a bowl.
The first time Rylee made chicken noodle soup, she just used the packets, which are just noodles and the flavoring. I asked her if she had any chicken, and when she said yes, I pulled it out of the fridge and cut some up. I put it into the pot, and when Rylee ate it, she loved it. Now anytime I make it, or she does, she always has to have chicken in it.
By the time the soup is ready, Rylee and Mae have been sitting in the kitchen for some time. I try my hardest not to look back or move too fast around Mae. I think I am successful. I divide the soup into the bowls before placing it in front of Rylee and Mae.
We all sit in silence, eating our dinner. Once they finish, I take their bowls and start to wash them. Rylee and Mae go back into the living room, and I put the food away. Looking over at the microwave, it reads eight in the evening.
Xavier should be home soon.
Xavier has been working a lot more the past couple of days because Rylee has been occupied with Mae. He’s hoping that it won’t take Mae much longer to get comfortable and not have to be around Rylee as much. He’s getting ahead in his work so that when that time comes, he can spend some much-needed time with his mate.
I don’t blame him. He’s done this several times. They either spend the time together as a family or Rylee’s mom will take the kids and they have some time to themselves, away and alone. It sounds like heaven.
I know having Mae in their home changes their whole schedule and family dynamic. It can be overwhelming and exhausting at times, but they always manage to make it through anything. Someday, I want that with Mae.
To be able to make it through anything, together.
“Little one, I’m home,” Xavier announces.
I walk out of the kitchen and into the living room. Mae is sitting on the couch with Rylee. I sit down in a chair, and Rylee goes and kisses Xavier.
“I’ll be upstairs. Take your time. I might be asleep, it was a long day at work.” He sounds exhausted.
Rylee nods her head and gives him another kiss before turning around and signing to Mae. Mae replies, and Rylee smiles in agreement. Rylee glances over at me as she heads to the kitchen.
“I need to get a drink real quick, and then I have something I need to tell you before you leave. It’ll only take a second,” she explains.
I nod my head and relax into the chair. I can’t imagine what Rylee needs to talk to me about. Maybe she has more suggestions on how I can get Mae to trust me or get comfortable around me. I can use all the help I can get, but she could just text her ideas to me.
She’s done that before. It’s not uncommon for Rylee to text me after I’ve gone home for the day. She’ll text me lists of things she wants to accomplish the next day or things she failed to tell me when we were together.
As Rylee disappears into the kitchen, Mae peers over at me. After a couple of seconds, she scoots her way over to the end of the couch, closer to me. I keep my eyes on her the whole time and don’t move. I don’t want to startle her in any way.
She studies me and looks down at my hand resting on the armchair. I fix my eyes on her to figure out what she’s trying to do. She knows that I don’t know much sign language, Rylee told her, so she can’t say anything to me. I wouldn’t understand.
Her hand reaches over for mine, and I hold my breath. Her hand hovers over mine for what seems like an eternity. My finger twitches, and she recoils her hand, looking at me with wide eyes.
I groan, frustrated that my finger twitched, but I smile at her. She smiles back before signing goodnight and running up the stairs. I slump back in my chair, running my hands over my face. She was so close to touching my hand, and my finger just had to twitch.
“Don’t beat yourself up for that. I’m surprised you didn’t move sooner,” Rylee says.
I look over at Rylee, who’s standing at the entrance of the kitchen. Of course, she had to see all of that happen. I thought that Mae and I were alone, but I should’ve known better. I don’t think Mae would’ve been comfortable alone with me. I mean, she did move from the other couch before coming over to me.
“I told you, just take baby steps. She’ll come around. Just being in her presence makes the mate bond stronger,” Rylee encourages.
“I know,” I reply, sighing.
Rylee’s human, and yet, with the knowledge she has, it’s like she grew up a werewolf. She’s asked so many good questions and read so many books about werewolves. Books written by alphas and doctors. She wanted to understand her new life, to be prepared for the rest of her life, and for her kids.
“Go get some sleep. Don’t go to the gym,” Rylee pleads.
My face scrunches up, bewildered. How does she know I went to the gym? I didn’t even mention it to her or to Xavier.
“I have eyes and ears everywhere. Get some good rest. You’ve had a long day and need to just relax and let it go. If you do go to the gym, my eyes and ears will call, and I’ll send Xavier and some warriors to get you and tie you to the bed. Don’t underestimate me,” she says with her hands on her hips.
“I promise I will go straight home and sleep,” I answer reluctantly.
She gives me a big smile before heading up the stairs.
“Goodnight. See you tomorrow,” she says.
“Goodnight,” I reply.
I get up from my seat to leave, and with every step I take to the door, the more I feel an invisible tug. It’s the mate bond (pulling me toward my mate and telling me that I’m leaving her behind.
I can’t wait for the day when Mae and I will be in the same house, and I don’t have to feel this every time I go home to sleep. No mate wants to feel that, and yet, I have to every time I leave the house.
I unlock my house and head up the stairs. I quickly take a shower, brush my teeth, and change for bed. Sliding my covers back, I slip into my bed and get comfortable. Once my head hits the pillow, I fall right asleep.