22. Ben
BEN
So I did it.
I texted her, and now I’m pacing this fucking hotel room again because I am certifiably insane.
But I’m sticking with the idea that the sooner I get this done, the sooner I can end it.
Which means tonight, I’m really hoping she’ll be able to get that orgasmic high and I won’t have to do this anymore.
Stopping by the window, I spin and stare at the bed, thinking about the noises she made as I kissed her cherry nipples… and then about her soft laugh as we watched Elle Woods figure out Harvard Law School. Man, those two sounds were so different, yet both so enticing.
I snap my eyes shut.
No! Don’t find them enticing. Just observe. Do what you promised and don’t feel anything.
Running a hand through my hair, I remind myself that, yes, this might be the worst idea ever, but it’s nearly over.
It’s nearly over.
She’ll come tonight, and then I won’t ever have to see her again.
Nodding, I try to embed that idea into my brain, but it flies out the window the second there’s a knock at the door.
I run to open it and there she is, looking all cute in this soft, pale blue sweater that makes her eyes glow and these wide-leg pants that seem to float around her when she walks past me and into the room.
“Hi. How are you? Did you have a good rest of your week? How’s your weekend going?
Did you have practice today? Do you practice on weekends?
I think you said you did, right? Or you should?
Or… I’m sorry, I can’t remember.” She tucks a lock of hair behind her ear, and I raise my hand before she can open her mouth again.
“You don’t have to be nervous.” I smile at her, trying not to laugh at how twitchy she is. The way she talks at high speed is hilarious.
“I’m not nervous.” Shoving her hands into her pockets, she rocks back on her flat slip-on shoes, then sighs when I give her an all-knowing look. “Okay, fine. I’ve got a swarm of bees buzzing in my stomach.”
“Why? It’s just me.”
“I know.” Her nose wrinkles, and she tips her head back. “I think I just got myself into a frenzy on my way over here. I so want this to work, you know? You’re being so nice to me about this whole thing, and I don’t want to let you down. I don’t want to let myself down.”
Slowly walking toward her, I pause just a foot away from her and rest my hand on her shoulder.
“This is a no-pressure zone. You can’t let me down in this space.
It’s not like you’re competing for a gold medal or trying to get an A+.
You’re just here to see what your body enjoys.
And it won’t enjoy anything if you can’t relax. ”
“I know. I know.” Her head starts bobbing. “You’re right.” She sucks in a breath, then quickly releases it. “You’re right. Of course you’re right.”
Giving her shoulder a gentle squeeze, I then release her and walk over to the edge of the bed. “We don’t have to do anything yet. We can watch a movie first or something.”
“No, that’s… let’s…” Whipping off her sweater, she throws it on the floor, then slips off her shoes and marches toward me, this determined look on her face.
Grabbing my cheeks, she stretches up and plants her lips on mine. The move is so aggressively determined that I nearly laugh into her mouth, but her tongue dives in before I can make a sound and my arms automatically circle around her.
Lifting her off her feet, I nestle into the kiss and feel her start to relax.
As the heat between us intensifies, I set her back down and let my hands roam, just like they did the other night.
She makes that moan again, and I let instinct take over. Squeezing her waist, I trail my hands over her butt cheeks and give them a tender feel before moving up her body and cupping her breasts again. She’s small, and my hands feel huge against her.
“Yes,” she moans, tipping her head back and moving away from me so I can have better access.
I wonder if I should move us to the bed, but her eyes are closed and she’s lost in the moment, so I just go with it, unhooking her bra and dropping it on the floor at our feet.
I’m sucking her tits before I know it, and yep, they’re just as sweet as they were last time. Her fingers dive into my hair, fisting a clump at the back, and I can sense her confidence growing. This isn’t so new this time, and she’s loving it.
She groans again, and I smile against her skin. “You like this?”
“Yes,” she whispers.
“Do you want me to…?” I start working my lips farther south, then drop to my knees so I can paint a ring around her belly button with my tongue.
She sucks in a breath, her hands sliding to my shoulders when she opens her eyes and gazes down at me.
I pull away to stare back up at her. “Talk to me.” It’s a gentle command, but she obeys it quickly.
“I want to try. I want… you to touch me.” Biting her lip, she reaches for the tie of her pants and pulls it loose.
“Are you sure?”
She nods, looking anything but sure as she steps away from me and drops her pants. She’s wearing a pair of white cotton briefs, and she hesitates before reaching for the waistband.
“You can leave those on if you want. I can touch you over the fabric. Whatever makes you more comfortable.”
Her relief is obvious, her smile sweet and tentative.
Rising to my feet, I tip my head toward the bed, and we climb onto it together.
“Just relax,” I remind her as she nestles her head into the pillow.
I start by kissing her lips again, resting my hand on her hip and letting her melt beside me.
Her right leg starts to rise and I can feel her body getting ready for more, so I trail kisses down to her neck and over her collarbone.
I’m soon kissing her breasts again, and that’s when I start to stroke her.
Just over her cotton panties. A light, delicate touch that tickles her clit.
“Oh.”
I glance up and watch her blink. She’s not looking at me; she’s staring at the ceiling like it might have all the answers. I stroke her again and her lips part, her eyes fluttering closed.
Yeah, she likes that.
It’s impossible not to smile as I press my lips against her skin once more.
“This feel okay?” I murmur.
“Yes,” she squeaks, and I wrap my lips around her nipple, sucking with a little more force and loving the moan that oozes out of her.
She’s fisting my hair again, and I can feel her energy sizzling.
So I keep leading this dance, my insides starting to pulse with a heady beat of their own. I’m hard as fucking granite right now, but I can’t go freaking her out, so I angle my hips away. I don’t want her feeling that. Not when she’s really starting to relax into this.
My fingers are itching to dive beneath the fabric, but I won’t do that until she’s ready.
Her hot vibration is growing stronger; I can tell she’s buzzing, those heady sensations building inside her… but she’s not quite making it. It’s like she’s close but can’t tumble over the edge. Her body keeps tensing up, and I sense frustration… maybe a little desperation?
She so wants this, but she can’t get there.
“I’m not sure it’s working,” she confirms a few moments later. “Your hand is probably getting tired.”
I ignore that last comment, determined to see this through. “Give it time.”
“But…”
My head pops up and I catch her eye. “Are you enjoying this? Does it feel good?”
“Yes… and yes.”
“So… give it time. Relax into this. Just let yourself go. Think about things that make you all hot. Imagine a scene from Bridgerton if you have to. Does that get you going?”
She goes still, really thinking about it, and the look of concentration on her face is so damn cute.
“Well, I read a scene in a romance novel the other night that got me tingling. I didn’t touch myself or anything, but… yeah… it made me feel all warm, and I kind of felt like I was vibrating down there.” Her nose wrinkles. “Does that make sense?”
“Yes.” I smile at her. “So think about that scene again. Let your mind take you there. Let your body relax. Don’t try to pressure yourself into it, just go with the flow.”
Biting her lips together, she nods, then rests her head back on the pillow, like she’s determined to relax.
“Jolie.” I laugh her name, resting my hand on her stomach. “Relax. Just let yourself sink into the bed. Close your eyes. Relax.”
She sucks in a few slow breaths, and I can feel her body soften beneath my touch.
“Tell me about this scene in the book you were reading. What were they doing?”
Jolie’s breath hitches, and I brush my lips along her collarbone, then work my way back down to her breasts as she starts describing this scene where the heroine is caught skinny-dipping by the cowboy and she rises from the lake, water dripping off her bare skin, and how he takes her right there on the grass.
The sun was beating down on their bodies, and it was a hot, passionate connection that made the heroine feel like she was flying.
Her voice gets breathier and breathier. I can feel her heart starting to race, and I suck her nipple, trailing the pads of my fingers down her body. When I get to the waistline of her panties, I skim my index finger along the band.
“Do you mind if I…?” I dip my finger beneath the cotton. “You don’t have to take them off or anything.”
“No, I, uh… That’s okay.” She reaches for them, nudging the fabric down her hips with slightly frantic movements. Opening her eyes, she gives me a twitchy smile before lying back down again.
Pushing the panties over her knees, I give her legs room to flop apart, if that’s what she wants them to do, then go back to stroking her.
I make sure to stay away from her opening. Something is telling me to leave that area alone for now. I don’t want to spark memories of her first time and that complete fucker who ruined it for her.
So I play with her clit, teasing it softly while I lick and suck her nipples.
She starts to groan in earnest, so I increase the pressure and pace until she lets out a gasp.
“Wait, something’s happening!” Her voice pitches.
“Oh my g—something’s happening!” Fisting the duvet cover, she starts to pant, these adorable squeaks coming out of her as she rises to that orgasm in spectacular fashion.
I keep going, working a little magic as she finally lets herself give in to that high.
“Oh my g—” She gasps again. “Oh, oh, oh!”
And then she hits it, this fantastic wail shooting out of her as her hips fire off the bed and she starts to writhe.
“Don’t stop!” Her voice is a breathy whisper. “Oh my… this is…” She whimpers, riding this wave like it’s the best thing that’s ever happened to her.
Fuck, I’m loving every second of this.
And I don’t stop.
Not until she clamps her legs closed, shuddering against me and obviously unable to take any more.