BEN
Shit, she feels so good.
I shouldn’t have let her do that to me, but I couldn’t resist her.
She was begging to touch me, and I couldn’t say no.
What the fuck is wrong with me?
And now she’s straddling my legs and I’m kissing her like she’s more than just a student. I’m acting as though she’s mine, and my body is responding to her like I’m a man in love.
Which I’m not.
I can’t be.
Because I’m not getting my heart broken again.
She doesn’t want me for me; she’s only into this because I’m helping teach her about sex. She’s caught up in the moment.
And I can’t do this with her.
Why are you still kissing her, then?
Running my hands up her naked back, I splay my fingers between her shoulder blades and press her toward me.
This make-out session is hotter than anything we’ve had before. And all I can feel is her smooth skin and that sweet pussy of hers nestled over my exposed dick.
I can already feel it firing up for round two, and there can be no round two, because what I want more than anything right now is to make her come again, then bury myself inside her.
And that’s definitely not part of the deal.
Fuck!
Stop this. Now!
Gently pushing her back, I turn my head and quietly murmur, “We should stop.”
“What?” she breathes against my cheek before pressing her lips to the corner of my mouth.
“Jolie, stop.” I force the words out, which takes a lot of effort.
Can she tell how hard this is for me to do?
Leaning away, she gives me a slightly wounded frown, then nods and scoots off my thighs.
I hitch my pants as soon as I have the room to do it, then stand from the bed.
She’s now on her knees, still totally naked, looking up at me like she’s done something wrong.
“It’s not you. It’s just… This isn’t our arrangement.”
“I want to have sex with you,” she murmurs. “Like all the way.”
“No,” I say before I give my brain a chance to consider this. “No, we can’t.”
“Why not?”
“Because that’s not what this is about.” My voice rises as I run my fingers through my hair. “I shouldn’t have even let you touch me. This is about your orgasms, not mine.”
“But it felt so good to touch you, to make you come. I want to do that again with you. I want to… know what it’d be like. With you.”
Closing my eyes, I turn away from her. I can’t look at those gray eyes, so big and vulnerable and pleading. Shit, she can undo me in a second, and I hate myself for getting so easily caught up in this thing.
I’m a weak man.
The school year’s only just begun, and I’ve made myself vulnerable already.
“I never should have started this thing,” I mutter under my breath.
“What?” Jolie’s voice is so soft.
Shit, did she hear me?
Maybe it’d be better if she did.
Wincing, I turn to face her and try to word it as nicely as I can. “I’m not sure we should keep doing this.”
Her expression drops.
“I’ve shown you what you wanted me to. You know the spots to touch, and I’m sure you can figure out the rest on your own.”
She blinks, swallowing and slowly nodding as she turns away from me, reaching for her clothes.
She looks so dejected right now.
“I’m sorry, it’s just… I feel like it’s getting too intense now, you know? And I’m not after making this more than what it’s supposed to be.”
“Yeah.” She sniffs. “Yeah, I get it.”
Pulling on her shirt, she doesn’t even bother with her bra, folding it up and tucking it into her bag after she’s straightened her clothes. Clearing her throat, she tucks her hair behind her ears and forces a smile.
Shit, her eyes are glistening.
“It’s, um… Thank you.” She sniffs again, nodding and looking awkward as fuck. “I really appreciate what you’ve done for me.”
“That’s okay.” I want to tell her it’s my pleasure. To assure her that going all the way would be a privilege. But I can’t take from her that way.
She’s not my girl.
I don’t want her to be my girl.
I said no women!
Jolie checks her watch. “I guess I should probably get going.”
Guilt clutches me, turning my stomach into a ball of writhing worms.
She can’t leave this way, all sad and dejected. That will seriously kill me.
“Let’s get room service,” I blurt. “We could watch another movie or… play a game.”
What the fuck are you doing?
I have no idea. I just know that I don’t want her leaving all upset.
I can still be friends with the girl, right?
Her eyebrows wrinkle. “P-play a game?”
“Yeah. I’ve booked the room for the night, so I just thought maybe we could borrow Scrabble or something. Eat… something and…” I wince, scrubbing a hand through my hair.
She watches me, her head tipping to the side as a kind smile stretches over her face. “Okay. That’d be nice. Thanks.”
Oh shit, I was not expecting her to say that.
“Uh… okay. I’ll call downstairs, then.”
“Okay.” She heads for the chaise, and I call down to reception, asking if they have any board games. The lady is very helpful and tells me she’ll send up Scrabble before transferring me to room service.
“What do you want to eat?” I ask.
“Whatever. I pretty much like everything.”
Helpful. Not.
Scratching the back of my head, I talk to the room service guy, and he tells me they make great spring rolls and also have a beef stir-fry that’s pretty popular.
“It’s not spicy, right?” I check.
“No, sir, we can make that mild for you.”
“Excellent. Thanks.” I finish up the order, and it’s not long before we’re setting up for a game of Scrabble.
It feels like I’m hanging out with one of my sisters, and that is a really good thing, because if I can think of Jolie that way, then we can put these sex lessons behind us, and I can get on with my year.
She’s a damn good Scrabble player, and between us, we get 703 points.
“Impressive.” I offer her the last spring roll as I compliment her game.
“No, you have it. I’m so full.” She pats her belly and I take the last spring roll, pleased the guy recommended them to me. They are seriously delicious.
Tucking her foot underneath her butt, Jolie leans back on the chaise and smiles at me. “That was fun.”
“Yeah, you’re good. Which is no surprise considering you want to be a journalist.”
She laughs. “Yeah, the pressure to perform well in word games is pretty high.”
The look on her face is just plain adorable, and I grin at her, reminding myself yet again that this really needs to be the last time I hang out with her, because even sharing a meal and playing a board game suddenly feels like quicksand.
I can’t get sucked down again this year.
I refuse to be shafted by another woman. And even though Jolie is sweet and lovely, she still has the ability to annihilate me. I remind myself yet again that she was only ever in this for the orgasms. I’m not some guy she’s about to fall for. I’m just her sex tutor.
So I’m not going to catch any feelings. Not for her. Not for anyone.