BEN
This morning, when I woke up, I felt resolved.
I wouldn’t think about Jolie anymore. I wouldn’t relive that cute laugh she made when we were playing Scrabble or that moan she made when she came with my fingers inside her.
I would not think about those dimples or the sad, vulnerable look in her big gray eyes when I told her our tutoring sessions were over.
That was my resolve.
I was going to stick to it.
Turns out, I’m full of shit.
Jolie has been plaguing me all day, which is probably why I don’t miss her when she walks across my line of sight. She’s in the distance. She hasn’t noticed me. I should turn the other way so our paths don’t intersect.
But like I said, I’m full of shit… so I pick up my pace and end up running to catch up with her.
What the actual fuck?
She looks upset. That’s how I justify this to myself.
I’m her friend, right?
Maybe she needs someone to talk to.
“Jolie,” I call softly, not wanting to draw attention to us.
She doesn’t hear me at first, so I have to try again.
“Hey, Jolie.”
With a little jolt, she spins and finds me walking toward her. The second our eyes connect, the world around me stills. It’s like a movie or something, the camera spinning around us as we both freeze, this electric current pulsing between us.
I can’t tell what she’s thinking, and I’d do anything to read her mind as I close the gap.
“Hey,” I breathe, trying to figure out why my heart is thundering.
Why do I want to reach for her? Touch her hand, squeeze her fingers, bring her knuckles to my lips and kiss them?
Why do I want to brush my thumb down her cheek, say anything to make her smile?
“Hi,” she squeaks, then swallows, her eyes dipping.
No. Don’t look away from me. Don’t let this be awkward.
I…
Shit! I don’t know what to do with you.
Maybe being her friend is a really bad idea. Maybe I should just say, “Nice to see you,” and be on my way, but…
Something’s wrong.
“Are you okay?” The words come out as a whisper for some reason, and she glances back up at me, her smile forced.
I can tell that now.
Shit, I’m getting to know her without even meaning to.
“You can talk to me.”
Her shoulder hitches, and I have to ask…
“Is it us? Is it too awkward talking to me? Can we not be friends?”
“It’s not that.” She shakes her head. “I just had an… uncomfortable encounter with…” Her eyes track back the way she’s come and… shit, the Nolan U Star office is that way.
My eyebrows dip, anger firing through me. “With who? It’s not the guy you went on a date with, was it? He didn’t touch you, did he?”
“N-no.” She looks up at me, obviously surprised by my venom. “He just asked me to do something I don’t want to do, but I felt like I had to say yes.”
Taking her face in my hands before I can stop myself, I lean down to capture her gaze with mine. “Jolie, listen to me. You never have to do anything for someone else that you don’t want to do. You understand me? Do not let him push you around.”
“But I want to work for the paper. And he’s the editor!”
Shit, her horrible date was with her boss?
Well, kind of her boss.
The point is, he’s in a position of authority over her, and he better not be using the fact that they slept together against her.
“That asshole cannot manipulate you,” I growl. “What did he do?” My voice starts getting snappy, this protective instinct making me want to run to the Nolan U Star and have myself a little visit with the guy.
What the fuck?
If he’s coercing her, I’m gonna—
“He just wants me to do some research for an article I’m not that interested in writing.
I guess I’m just… disappointed. Uncomfortable.
It’s not the kind of thing I want to be working on.
” She shrugs, and I brush my finger under her eye before becoming aware that I’m still holding her.
In public. People will think we’re a couple, which we’re not.
I drop my hands and take a step back.
“It’s okay.” She waves her hand through the air. “I’ll figure it out. I’m just not sure how to go about doing it, and I hate that I couldn’t tell him no.”
“You can tell him no,” I grit out, making it clear that she should have told him no the night they went on that date.
But shit, she had no idea what she was doing.
I fucking hate that guy for not paying attention, for taking advantage of her vulnerability. What a fucking douchebag.
“Anyway… I, um…” She swallows, and those eyes…
Shit, they are doing me in right now.
I want to make her feel better.
I want to kiss her, distract her.
No. You told yourself no more.
Clenching my jaw, I try to look away, but something in her gaze changes… and I notice. It’s like she can read my mind or… maybe she’s been thinking about me as much as I’ve been thinking about her.
It’s been less than a day, and it looks like we’ve both been obsessing over each other.
Don’t do it, man. You don’t want this, remember?
But I do.
Fuck, I want her so badly right now, it’s killing me.
I could make her forget every worry in the whole damn world right now.
And she wants me to.
Look at that face.
Those eyes.
They’re practically begging me.
Her lips part and she sucks in a small breath before whispering, “Please. Just one more time.”
I can’t breathe as she reaches for my hand.
My fingers curl around her delicate digits and I give them a squeeze, croaking, “Last time,” before dragging her toward my car.
I can skip my study session in the library. This is more important.
Holding the passenger door for her, I feel a buzz run through me as she slips into my car with a cute smile on her face. Those dimples are going to end me. Seriously.
Putting the car in Reverse, I have no idea where to go. I haven’t booked a hotel room. We could just show up, I guess—there’s bound to be a room available—but… my room’s free. Everyone should be at school, so the house will be empty. And it’s closer.
Against my better judgment, I head home and am so relieved when I see the clear driveway. I pull in and stop the car, checking her expression.
“This is my place. No one’s home. Are you okay if we—”
“Yes.” She unclips her seat belt and bolts out of the car, her jumpy little steps adorable as we head to my front door.
As soon as we’re inside, I pull her up to my room, and it’s on.
The door clicks shut behind me and I wrap my arm around her waist, dragging her toward me. Our tongues tango in a quick rhythm that’s urgent and heady, and I soon find myself yanking her clothes off… and letting her yank off mine.
This isn’t a tutoring session.
This is something else, and I can’t stop it.
I don’t want to stop it.
Tossing her bra to the floor, I bend down to cup and suck her breasts.
I love these things. Her fingers scrape through my hair and she fists the back, moaning and arching toward me.
I snake my arm around her waist, working my lips back up her body, then pulling her flush against me.
Our naked skin slaps together, and holy shit, she feels good.
I love her smooth skin moving against mine.
Plucking her off the floor, I carry her to my bed and lay her down.
She smiles up at me as I stretch out beside her, trailing my fingertips over her skin.
I find her sweet spot easily and stroke it until she’s moaning.
Her fingers caress me, the tips of her nails brushing along my torso before she reaches for my rock-hard cock.
Holy fuck.
Her fingers curl around me and she starts to stroke and pump, and now we’re making each other come. It’s fucking erotic, and I’m helpless to stop this.
Sucking her breasts again—I know what she likes now—I take her to the edge while she puts my head in a tailspin. She comes with gasping moans, her body tensing just before her release. I love the way she falls apart like this, and I keep sucking her nipples as her hips arch off the bed.
Fuck, I want to be inside her.
“Please,” she whispers. “Please.”
And my body takes over, my brain shutting off as I let her pull me on top of her. I let her line us up, let myself nudge inside her. My eyes are closed and I’m lost to this moment, gently easing into her and groaning as her tight, sweet warmth wraps around me.
She feels so fucking good.
Digging her fingers into my shoulders, she whimpers yet thrusts her hips forward, taking more of me like she’s desperate for it. So I give in and slide a little farther, inching into her until I’m filling her completely.
I should ask if she’s okay.
I should check her face.
I should—
“Oh my gosh, you feel amazing,” she practically cries the words, and my hips move in response. It’s automatic, instinctual, and she starts to match my rhythm. We dance on the bed together, sliding and pushing, her leg wrapping around mine as I take, take, take.
You shouldn’t be doing this.
Her lips press into my shoulder and she holds me closer, running her hands down my back, digging her fingers into me, crying out when I hit a spot that she obviously enjoys. It makes me thrust a little harder and deeper for a moment, and she starts to pant like she might come all over again.
My heart is racing, my mind lost to these epic sensations powering through me.
It’s not about this. You’re supposed to be pleasuring her, not you!
But then she moans, and I know this is as good for her as it is for me.
“Kiss me,” she whispers, turning her head and guiding my mouth to hers.
I let her boss me around. I swipe my tongue into her mouth, my hips still rocking against her as this heat inside me builds to an inferno.
You’re not even wearing a condom, dude.
Holy shit!
That thought is the first to really crack the surface, bolting through my hazy, sex-filled brain and setting off alarm bells in logic land.
Get out of her before you come!
Get out!
Oh fuck. I don’t want to leave her. She feels so fucking good …
Selfishly giving myself one last thrust, I burrow deep inside her, eliciting the sexiest groan she has ever made before forcing myself out.
I’m at the point of no return right now anyway, and the second I pull out of her, it takes me all of two strokes to start jerking into my hand.
I don’t have time to grab tissues or anything, and my cum spurts onto her stomach and chest.
“Shit, sorry.”
“No, that’s okay.” She giggles and smiles at me like she’s floating on cloud nine.
Meanwhile, I’m sinking into a pit of guilt and regret.
I just crossed a line I promised myself I wouldn’t.
I didn’t even ask for consent. I wasn’t suited up.
I’m a fucking selfish prick with no control.