Chapter 34
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
Ihear about it from Rafael.
"She's gone," he says. "Matteo sent her to Europe. Left this morning."
My whole world stops.
I'm sitting in a motel room forty minutes outside the city, the same room I've been in for three days, staring at walls and trying to figure out how to fix this, how to get back to her, how to make Matteo understand.
And now she's… gone?
"When did he decide this?" My voice comes out flat and dead.
"Yesterday. The De Lucas found footage from the mall. Security cameras. They saw everything." Rafael pauses. "It got ugly. Salvatore threatened to pull all support. The alliance is dead. Matteo sent Isabella away to keep her out of the crossfire."
"Where in Europe?"
"I don't know. He didn't tell anyone. Just her and Alessia and probably one or two guards." Another pause. "Enzo, you need to let this go. At least for now. Matteo is—he's not in a good place. The De Lucas are furious, the O'Rourkes are circling, and he blames you for all of it."
"He should blame me. It is my fault."
"That's not the point. The point is if you come back right now, he's going to kill you. Actually kill you. And I can't protect you from that."
"I don't need protection from Matteo."
"Enzo—"
"I need to see him. I need to talk to him. I need to—" I stop because my voice is breaking and I can't afford to break, not now, not when I need to be functional. "I need to fix this, Rafael."
"You can't fix this. Not yet. Give him time. Give yourself time. Let the situation cool down and then—"
"No." I stand up and start pulling on my jacket. "I'm coming in. Today. Now. Tell him I want to talk."
"He won't agree to that."
"Then don't tell him. Just let me in the gates. I'll handle the rest."
"This is a fucking bad idea."
"I don't care."
Rafael is quiet for a long moment. "If I do this, if I let you in, I can't protect you. You understand that? Whatever happens when you walk into that house, you're on your own."
"I understand."
"And you're still coming?"
"Fuck, yes."
He sighs, long and resigned. "Gates will be open in two hours. Come to the back entrance. I'll make sure the guards let you through. After that you're on your own."
"Thank you."
"Don't thank me. This is probably the stupidest thing I've ever helped someone do." He pauses. "Good luck, brother. You're going to need it."
He hangs up.
I stand in the middle of the motel room and look at myself in the mirror above the dresser.
I look like hell. Three days of not sleeping properly, not eating, just sitting and thinking and spiraling. My jaw is still bruised from where Matteo hit me. My side aches where the knife wound is still healing. I look like exactly what I am.
A man who lost everything that matters.
I grab my keys and head for the door.
The drive back to the compound takes thirty minutes and I spend all of them trying to figure out what I'm going to say to Matteo, how I'm going to make him understand, how I'm going to convince him to tell me where Isabella is.
I don't find the right words.
By the time I pull up to the back gate I still have nothing except the truth.
Maybe that will be enough.
Probably it won't be. But I’ll do anything at this point.
I’ll sell my fucking soul if I have to.
The gates open without me having to announce myself. Rafael's work. I drive through and park near the back entrance and sit in the car for a moment, steeling myself.
This is going to go badly.
I know this is going to go badly.
I get out anyway.
Rafael is waiting at the door. He looks at me and shakes his head.
"Last chance to change your mind," he says.
"Where is he?"
"His study. He's alone. Dante and Luca are in the house somewhere but not close." He looks at me directly. "Whatever happens in there, I can't stop it. You know that, right?"
"I know."
He steps aside and lets me pass.
I walk through the house on autopilot, following a path I've walked a thousand times, and every step feels heavier than the last because I know what's waiting at the end of it.
Matteo's study door is closed.
I knock.
"Come in."
I open the door and step inside.
Matteo is behind his desk and he looks up when I enter and the expression that crosses his face is something I've never seen before.
Pure rage.
He stands slowly.
"You have a lot of fucking nerve coming here, Enzo," he says quietly.
"I need to talk to you."
"We have nothing to talk about."
"Matteo—"
"Get out of my house."
"Not until you tell me where she is."
His hands curl into fists on the desk. "You think you have any right to ask me that? After what you did?”
"I know I don't have the right. I'm asking anyway." I take a step closer. "Please. Just tell me where you sent her."
"So you can what? Go after her? Ruin her life even more than you already have?" He comes around the desk. "You destroyed the alliance. You made enemies of the De Lucas. You put her in danger. And now you want me to tell you where she is so you can finish the job?"
"I love her."
The words hang in the air between us.
"You love her," Matteo repeats, and his voice is deadly quiet. "You love her. That's supposed to make this better? That's supposed to excuse any of it?"
"No. It doesn't excuse anything. But it's the truth.
I've been in love with her for years. Since before—" I stop.
"Since before I had any right to feel that way.
And I stayed away because I knew it was wrong.
I knew you'd never approve. I knew it would destroy everything between us.
But then the cabin happened and I couldn't—I tried to stay away and I couldn't do it anymore. "
He's moving toward me and I can see it in his face, the decision being made, the line being crossed.
"You should have fucking tried harder," he growls.
Then he hits me.
The punch comes fast and hard, catching me in the jaw, snapping my head to the side, and I don't block it, don't defend myself, just take it, straighten up and look at him.
He hits me again. Ribs this time. Then stomach. Then face again.
I don't fight back.
I let him hit me because I deserve it, because this is what I earned when I touched his sister without permission, when I fell in love with the one person in the world he trusted me to protect without wanting.
"Fight back," he snarls.
I don't.
He hits me harder, a combination to the ribs that drives the air from my lungs and sends pain lancing through my healing knife wound, and I go down to one knee.
"I said fucking fight back!" He grabs my shirt and hauls me up. "Defend yourself, you coward!"
"No." Blood is running from my split lip. "I'm not fighting you. Do whatever you need to do. I'm not fighting back."
His fist connects with my face again and the world tilts, goes grey at the edges, but I stay conscious through sheer force of will.
"I would do anything for her," I say, and my voice is thick with blood. "Anything, Matteo. I would die for her. I would kill for her. I would burn down the whole world if that's what it took to keep her safe."
"You're not keeping her safe. You're putting her in danger." Another punch, this one to the gut, and I double over. "You made her a target. You destroyed her reputation. You ruined the one alliance that could have protected her from the O'Rourkes."
"I know." I straighten up with effort. "I know all of that. And I'll spend the rest of my life making it right. I'll find another way to protect her. I'll fix the alliance. I'll handle the O'Rourkes. Just tell me where she is. Please."
He hits me again and I taste more blood, feel something crack in my ribs, and the pain is sharp, bright and clarifying.
"She's gone because of you," Matteo says, and his voice is shaking with fury. "She's on the other side of the world because I can't keep her safe here. Because you couldn't keep your hands to yourself. Because you betrayed me."
"I know."
"Stop saying you know!" He grabs me by the throat and slams me against the wall. "Stop accepting everything I say like it's penance! Fight back! Defend yourself! Give me a reason not to kill you right now!"
I look at him directly, his hand on my throat, his face inches from mine, and I see it clearly.
He wants to kill me.
He's deciding right now if he's going to kill me and part of him wants to, wants to crush my throat, end this and never have to look at me again.
"I love her," I say again, quietly. "That's the only defense I have. I love her more than I've ever loved anything and I would do anything to be with her. Including die here if that's what you decide."
His hand tightens on my throat.
The door slams open.
"Fucking hell, Matteo, stop!" Rafael's voice.
Hands grab Matteo, pulling him back, and he fights it for a second before letting go and I slide down the wall gasping for air.
Dante is there, and Luca, both of them holding Matteo back, and Rafael is crouched beside me checking for damage.
"Are you okay?" he asks quietly.
I nod even though I'm not okay, even though my ribs are screaming and my face is on fire and I can barely breathe.
Matteo is breathing hard, staring at me with pure hatred.
"Get him out of here," he says to Rafael. "Get him out of my house before I finish this."
"Matteo—" I start.
"I will never forgive you for this." His voice is cold and final. "Do you understand me? Never. You destroyed everything between us. Everything we built. Every year of friendship and trust and brotherhood. All of it gone because you couldn't control yourself around my sister."
The words land like knives.
"I'm sorry," I say, and my voice is barely a whisper.
"Your apology means nothing to me." He shakes off Dante and Luca and stands there with his fists clenched at his sides.
"You're dead to me, Bianchi. You don't exist. And if you ever come near Isabella again, if you ever try to contact her or find her or see her, I will kill you myself. That's not a threat. That's a promise."
"Matteo, please—"
"Get out."
Rafael helps me up and I lean on him because standing without support seems ambitious right now.
"Where is she?" I ask one more time, desperate. "Just tell me where she is. That's all I need. Just that one thing."
"No." Matteo's voice is ice. "She's gone and she's staying gone. You’re never seeing her again. That's how this ends."
Rafael guides me toward the door and I let him because there's nothing left to say, nothing left to do except leave.
At the door I stop and look back.
Matteo is standing in the middle of his study with blood on his knuckles and rage in his eyes and I know with absolute certainty that I just lost him.
Lost my best friend.
Lost my boss.
Lost everything except the memory of Isabella and the knowledge that I love her and she's somewhere I can't reach.
"I'm sorry," I say one more time.
He turns his back on me.
Rafael pulls me out into the hallway and closes the door. The sound of it closing feels like the end of everything.
"Come on," he says quietly. "Let's get you out of here before he changes his mind about letting you leave alive."
We walk through the house and I'm leaving blood on the floor, drops of it marking my path, and when we get outside the air is cold, clear and painful in my lungs.
Rafael helps me to my car.
"Where will you go?" he asks.
"I don't know." I lean against the car and try to catch my breath. "Anywhere. It doesn't matter."
"Enzo—"
"I need to find her, Rafael." I look at him directly. "I need to know where she is. Can you help me with that?"
He's quiet for a long moment.
"I'll try," he says finally. "But I can't promise anything. Matteo was serious about keeping her location secret. Only he and maybe Alessia know where she went."
"Try anyway. Please."
He nods. "Get out of here. Go somewhere safe. And I'll reach out if I find anything."
I get in my car and drive away from the compound with broken ribs and a split lip and the taste of failure in my mouth.
I don't look back.
Because looking back means seeing what I just lost and I can't afford to fall apart right now.
I need to stay functional.
I need to find her.
That's all that matters anymore.
Finding Isabella and making this right.
Even if it kills me.