Chapter 27 #2
Sam pointedly looked away. “You wanted to leave when things started getting a little crazy, and I made you stay. And… I… I, well, I feel like I had this dream about saying something to you, and… I don’t know… I don’t know if I said it out loud?”
The embarrassment and shame in her gaze was too much for him to bear. He’d rather rip his heart out of his chest and serve it to her on a fucking silver platter than see that glimmer in her eyes.
He was about to respond, to deny it, but she held up her hand. “You’ve been so good to me. You’ve gone above and beyond to help me out, took me in when I didn’t have anywhere else to go, and then I take advantage of the situation…”
Okay… Now he really was confused. What the hell was she talking about? How could she have possible been taking advantage of anything in this situation?
“Sam, what on earth are you talking about?” he asked slowly.
“This experiment! Fake dating!” she cried out, throwing her arms in the air as she did.
“I took it too far. I never should have proposed any of this stuff if I couldn’t even keep my own stupid feelings out of it, but I haven’t done a very good job at that, and I’ve made things awkward between us, and I’m so sorry Charlie, I really am… ”
Charlie stood there completely frozen in place, trying to dissect the words as they tumbled out of her mouth, but she continued.
“I should have never suggested we throw in the physical stuff. I thought I could handle it, but I couldn’t.
I know kissing me hasn’t meant anything to you, I know that was part of our deal and I’m the one making things weird, so I wanted to apologize if I’ve been making you uncomfortable in any way.
I’ve been trying really hard not to let all of this mean anything to me, but it has.
I know you’ve been avoiding me a bit the past few days since the night club, so I’m sure I did or said something stupid there.
You probably didn’t want me to feel bad, so you didn’t say anything about it, which I appreciate, but I don’t want you to feel like you can’t be honest with me. ”
Charlie stood, frozen in his spot, feeling his eyes widen.
Her hands clenched into fists at her sides like she was prepared for anything he was about to dish out.
He was so lost on exactly how he could salvage this situation that he almost missed something else twinkling in her eyes.
It was faint, hidden under the layers of embarrassment and behind the shame spiraling in her eyes. Something he’d never seen before.
Charlie shook his head, struggling to find the words until a frustrated breath hissed out of him. “That’s what’s been going on in that head of yours? Sam… I’ve been worried that I’ve been the one making you feel uncomfortable.”
She opened her mouth, closed it, and opened it again. “W-why would you think that?”
Charlie ran a hand through his hair. “Sam… Every time I’ve touched you, I’ve kissed you, I’ve held you in my arms, it’s gotten harder and harder to let all of this not mean something. Not when…”
He forced himself to stop. Clenching the last few words between his teeth with a vice-like grip.
“Not when what, Charlie?” Sam prompted, but Charlie couldn’t look at her right now. Not yet. He was too afraid that whatever he saw could ruin everything between them. That he would lose the one person who meant more to him than anything else.
“Nothing. Forget I said anything. We’re fine. Everything is fine between us, okay? And you’re gonna tell me if that changes, right?”
“R-right.” She wavered.
“Good, now let’s move on. Are you hungry? I grabbed us something on the way back because it’s—”
“Charlie?”
Charlie rubbed the back of his neck, any way to distract himself. “Hm?”
The heat of her body stepping closer to his sent tingles shooting down his body. Gentle taps of her feet against the hardwood floor reverberated around the quiet apartment as she slowly came toward him.
“What were you gonna say?” she asked, quieter than she’d been before.
“Sam,” he hissed, his tone warning, but she ignored it as she took another step forward, the heat of her singeing him to the point now that he feared he’d combust.
“Tell me.”
Finally then did he raise his eyes. That stunning green gaze of hers glittered in the light as it narrowed solely on him. Nothing else in the world mattered but the space between them.
He sighed. “You may not like it.”
She shook her head. “I don’t care. Say it anyway.”
That pull, those hypnotic eyes of hers, they were his undoing. Searching, gazing up at him as if he had all the answers she needed to hear. As if he had all the answers he needed to hear.
“Sam, I can’t bear hearing you think that everything that’s happened between us hasn’t meant anything to me.”
“What do you mean?” she asked, the breathless quality to it only spurred him on.
“Baby, I’m holding on by a thread here...”
“And you think I’m not?” she whispered. Something shifted in her gaze, that flickering flame that had burned bright that night at the club. It burned with an overwhelming intensity, with a fusion of want and need.
Charlie took the remaining step to close the gap between them, their bodies barely a breath away from one another.
“I think I need to be clear, as it doesn’t seem communication hasn’t been a strong suit of ours,” Charlie started, unable to mask the husky quality his voice took on.
“I can’t lose you. Even if it means holding back the feelings I’ve had for you for years.
I’ll shove it away and continue to the end of this thing we started, so you can write your book.
We’ll go to the gala because I need you there with me, and everything will be as it was.
I will walk out of this room, take a walk.
Our slate will be wiped clean, and we’ll never speak of it again.
But I need you to be honest with me right now about how you feel. ”
He held his breath.
“I think I’m in love with you.”