Chapter 5 #2
Any other traitor would’ve been dead on the spot. But I couldn’t take my brother’s life.
What if there’s an uprising within my own organization? Men who think Dominik would make a better leader because they no longer think that I’m strong enough to be Pakhan?
I’ll be left with nothing. I’ll be nothing.
And I refuse to lose everything just because my brother decided to want more than just a quick fuck with his hostage.
By the time I reach my bedroom, it’s after midnight. My head and eyes ache from exhaustion.
Dismissing the guards stationed outside the door, I manage to make my way into the dark room and undress in near darkness. The only light is the moonlight streaming in through the windows, bathing the cage in a silvery glow.
Just enough for me to make out Alina shivering on the floor. Naked. Curled in a ball. Her hair still damp from her shower earlier.
I flip on the lamp to find her tray of food and glass of water untouched.
Something stirs deep in my chest, but I tear my eyes away from her before the feeling can take hold of me. I don’t have time for her nonsense.
Turning off the lamp without a word, I pull back the thick covers of my warm bed before slipping under them, my head sinking into my comfortable pillow.
I keep my eyes forward on the ceiling despite the urge to look at her, but it gets harder and harder to resist as I listen to the sound of her teeth chattering.
Maybe I was too harsh, but she just won’t snap out of this self-destructive attitude. She can easily earn the comfort back.
If she talks. Eats. Drinks.
Something.
She has to break in the morning. She can’t go on much longer like this unless she wants her body to fail her.
That can’t be her ultimate goal. Does she hate Dominik enough to leave him?
No. Absolutely not.
Alina’s teeth continue to chatter in the otherwise silent room, and I hear a hint of a whimper from her.
Uneasiness seeps into my soul, and the weight on my chest is nearly suffocating. Maybe I went too far. Maybe my plan backfired so badly that she’ll never say another word to me or anyone else again.
I could threaten Dominik and his men once more to force her to talk, but something lurches in my gut when I think about doing that.
I think…I think I want her to want to say something to me. And that feels so goddamn pathetic that I shake my head at myself.
I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to force myself to fall asleep and shut Alina out. Darkness may blanket me, but it doesn’t muffle the sounds penetrating it. I can still hear her shivering.
Suffering.
This wasn’t asserting my control of the situation. This was just damage.
I miscalculated badly.
And now I have to figure out how to correct it before her body pays the price.
Fuck.
I get out of bed with a plan in mind and head downstairs to the laundry room.
There are two sets of washers and dryers on either side of the room, along with an ironing board and some baskets to sort clothes into. I find the basket full of clean towels and toss one into the dryer for a few minutes, letting it get warm before taking it out again.
I fold it back up neatly before returning upstairs, feeling an unexpected knot of unease tighten in my chest. What if even this fails, and she slips past the point where I can pull her back?
Despite my uncertainty, I continue down the hallway until I reach my bedroom again. I carefully cross the room and switch on the small lamp that’s on the nightstand, adding a soft, golden glow to the space that’s not too blinding.
Alina is still curled up to keep warm, her back facing me.
I frown as I approach the cage door, my stomach sinking at how small she looks.
I take a deep breath before opening the cage and stepping inside.
She glances over her shoulder at me, looking exhausted and miserable. As I approach her with the towel, she shrinks back a little, but I can tell that she’s too weak to quickly scramble away.
I kneel down next to her and drape the warm towel over her naked body, hearing an immediate, involuntary sigh of relief as she huddles beneath it.
It doesn’t feel like enough, though. I originally just planned to give her the towel and see how she reacted, but now that I’m in here… it’s hard to make myself leave.
Before I really think about it, I’m sitting on the floor next to her, making her face draw up in confusion. I don’t know what the hell that I’m doing either, but I’m already down here.
I pick her up and guide her toward me until she’s curled against my chest. I wind my arms around her shoulders and her torso, holding her against me with the towel curled around her.
Alina’s brow furrows, and she tenses like she’s going to try to pull away, but when I don’t say a word or move a muscle, she gradually relaxes in my hold until she goes slack and heavy in my arms. She exhales heavily as she rests her head against me, letting herself melt in my hold.
I could say a lot right now. I could tease her. I could be a cocky asshole.
Silence feels safer than saying the wrong thing and crossing a line I can’t take back.
So, I just hold her, and I finally feel her stop shivering.
Alina gravitates impossibly closer, and I can’t tell if she’s aware of what she’s doing or not. She drops her head against my chest, her fingertips grazing the front of my shirt.
My heartbeat quickens as I gaze down at her, watching her features gradually soften as her eyes flutter shut. She is so exhausted and cold that she doesn’t fight me.
More guilt sours my stomach, making me hold her a degree tighter like it’ll make me feel any better. It doesn’t.
As she presses her face into my chest more, a loose strand of hair tumbles onto her forehead.
I gently brush it away from her face, making her eyes fly open at my touch.
I meet her gaze, waiting for her to lash out and push me away, but she doesn’t move. She just stares.
And I stare back.
I can’t pinpoint the emotions that cross her face, but there are a lot of them. She isn’t sure how to feel, and I’m in the same boat as her.
This wasn’t part of the plan.
I had lines, clear ones. Touching her like this crosses every boundary I’ve drawn.
But if I don’t do something now, she won’t last long enough for any of it to matter.
Alina blinks her green eyes at me slowly, almost like a cat does. She doesn’t jerk away as my fingertips linger on her cheekbone.
My eyes lower to her dry lips, and I have to stop myself from brushing my fingertips along them to feel how chapped they are. So fucking stubborn.
She closes her eyes again, the room remaining dead silent besides our soft breathing. Eventually, hers slows, and her lips lightly part.
She falls asleep in my arms.
I blink in surprise. Not because she passes out. Because that makes me…glad. The fact that holding her feels good unsettles me.
I don’t do this. I don’t hold or comfort.
I command. I control. I fuck.
That’s it.
I hate myself for needing distance, but I gently lower her back to the floor, getting her off my lap. Getting her away from me.
Alina jolts awake, confusion filling her tired eyes as she stares up at me once I stand.
I let her keep the towel to wrap around her so that she can stay warm, but she can’t have me or anything that might confuse this further.
Drawing my eyes away from her, I walk out of the cage and lock the door behind me, my heart slamming against my chest. I consider crawling into bed and trying to go to sleep, but even the thought of being so close to her so soon makes me uneasy.
I leave the room and return to my office, burying myself in work for a few more hours, until a soul-deep exhaustion, and irresistible pull, sends me back to my bedroom with her.