West Three #2
She was now on her knees, right in front of me. “Yeah. Sorry.” But for now, the memory made the scars on my body itch. My chest tightened, and I nervously rubbed my hands over my bare arms, feeling the damaged skin. Again, I jolted. I let Sarah touch my scars.
I stared at her. She hadn’t acted disgusted by my disfigurement. Disgusted by…
As she now reached up to touch my face, I didn’t dare move. I was entranced to be touched so intimately. This was the part of me that had been purposely hidden. Especially in public. How could anyone want to touch this part of me?
My scars weren’t only skin deep… and this young woman knew it. Her cool touch on my scarred face; she whispered, “You will never convince me her death is your fault.”
My mouth fell open as enormous guilt rustled inside me.
It is cruel how much the abused willingly take the blame. I hadn’t set fire to the house, yet my sister’s death was mine to own.
When Sarah imitated a strategic breath for me to replicate, I realized I had stopped breathing.
“Thank you,” she softly said as I drew air into my lungs.
“But I mean it. Johnny once said that I’m nearly as strong-minded and tenacious as his Noma, so believe me when I promise you you’re wrong on this one.
Plus, if you’re guilty of your sister’s passing, then I am going straight to Hell when leaving this earth for good. ”
I was about to ask her how she could speak of herself that way, but didn’t because she held up her cell.
“I wish I could find all those we’ve lost. Tell them all how sorry I am.
Maybe that’s why I keep calling Johnny.” She shrugged, and her voice failed her.
“Even though the number is disconnected.”
I leaned forward. God, I wanted to touch her, but I restrained myself. “I don’t blame you for trying.”
She cried, “Why is his phone number gone?”
“I believe you-know-who is trying to protect him.”
She folded into her lap, sobbing. “Ethan, what if he wants to call home?” She hit the bed with a little fist. “I know it’s crazy, but I can feel him wanting to call home.”
I couldn’t hold back anymore. It was pure torture not to be as close to her as possible. So, I scooted, then gently, to not crush her, leaned over her. “Air. Take it in, Sarah.”
I didn’t dare confirm she might be feeling him like the linked dreams we’d been having. How far did the connection go? And if she was truly feeling his need to call home, was he in trouble? Hurting?
At that moment, I prayed to feel his pain. I wanted to suffer with him. Any way I could, since I couldn’t be with him.
One prayer was answered when I felt Sarah’s little back expand underneath me, and I swear I could suddenly breathe better myself. It was like her air was my air. I whispered, “Thank you.”
We stayed connected for a few minutes before she said, “Ethan?”
I lifted off our huddle. “Yeah?”
She stared up at me, appearing as if about to tell me something, but stopped when she caught my gaze. I couldn’t stop. Her tears under and around her eyes sparkled like hundreds of tiny diamonds in bright sunlight. They illuminated already stunning light eyes.
Sarah let out a little gasp. “You didn’t think I was ugly in the shower.”
I blinked to be free of the siren-like hold she had on me. “W-What? N-No, but I don’t think of you like that.”
Her expression hardened. And then she went off the rails. “You want to stay away from me? After all this time?”
Her words were making no sense. “What are you talking about?”
Next thing I knew, I was on my back, my PJ T-shirt in her fists. “I’ve waited so long for this. Why can’t you see that?”
Her crawling on top of me, bent legs at my side, I was baffled. “What have you waited for?”
“You!”
Touching her hips, I tried to quiet her so we wouldn’t wake up the house. “Shh.” However, I was struggling not to be affected by her intimate touch and words.
“I have loved you for so long.”
My mouth gaped. This just couldn’t be true. She loved Caleb. “Sarah, I’m so confused.”
“Me too.” She sounded as if I couldn’t have broken her heart more. “You don’t want me.”
I tightened my hold on her hips. “No. Nothing could be further from the truth, but when you came here, you were so young. Then—” I had intended to say, ‘then you fell in love with Caleb,’ but never got the chance.
Sarah growled, “I’m not too young anymore,” before slamming her lips to mine.
That kiss had absolutely everything that mattered in the world fading away. Only Sarah existed. That kiss was a possession. One I willingly surrendered to.
When she started to bite my neck? Blackout. Next thing I knew, I was on top of her, between her legs, and wanting to find a home that had nothing to do with my foster one. I wanted to crawl inside this young woman and never leave.
But her gasp, an inkling of her feeling pain, had an instant guilt taking over. From under me, she grabbed her mouth, wincing in pain. Oh no! “Sarah—” But then the same relentless physical pain crashed into me. Oh fuck! I grabbed my mouth and fell over and rolled off her bed.
Sarah, dear brave Sarah, held her mouth while crawling down to check on me.
Holding my face because it was about to explode, I swore, “I will never kiss you again. I’m so sorry.”
Still holding her mouth as if her teeth were falling out, she cried, “Never say that to me again!”
I vowed through immense shame, “With everything your heart is going through right now, the only way I would ever kiss you again is to save your life.”
She reached for me as I crawled away. She even followed me out the door as we stumbled to our feet. I was shocked to bump into Gage, who was, unbelievably, also holding his mouth. Next to him were Finn and Sebastian. All holding their mouths.
They took one look at me, then Sarah, then all started pointing fingers and speaking at the same time. It was chaos:
Gage touched my neck. “Di she bi’e you?”
What?
Sarah defended herself, “I don’ bi’e!”
Sebastian squinted. “I knew som’tin’ happen in the show’r.”
Finn fixed Sarah’s shirt I had apparently tried to rip off. “Gurl, you a mes’.”
The hall light turned on. We all faced Harmony. Then the chaos continued as we all tried to tell her our mouths were aching like a sonofabitch, but only managed to yell, “Mad G! Mad G!” Not that it was recognizable with our painful slurring.
We all froze, then looked at each other.
Fortunately, Harmony didn’t suspect we were reacting to some magically sparkly water because, well, that was absurd! Instead, she was touching our foreheads while demanding, “Dale, get the Tylenol! Is it because of the crash? Let’s go to the emergency room—”
“No!” we all screamed, scared to become lab rats once they drew our blood.
Luckily, Dale was on our side and convinced Harmony to try the Tylenol first.
This mother went into high-drive and got us all into the living room. Not only did we have proper meds to drown out pain, but we were all piled together on couches, with blankets, pillows, and hot tea.
Can’t lie. It was actually just what we needed. Each other’s touches, shoulders to shoulders and even legs over one another’s. It was calming. We even became super lethargic.
Harmony exhaled, then chuckled. “I guess we’re no longer lying about a flu?”
We all eyed each other, then shook our heads. Again, she was correct. We weren’t lying about a flu. We were lying about something far more unexplainable.
Not that any of that scary shit stopped Seb from asking her a ridiculous question. “Can we watch The Little Mermaid?”
We’re doomed.