West Five #2
He had one eye squinted shut while groaning, “Yes.”
Since she was onto me, I reverted to begging. “Kristen, please help us.”
Her expression was full of regret. “I’m sorry.”
Finn tried the same tactic. “Please, he means so much.”
She tried some bullshit. “It’s unethical—”
My laugh was harsh as I crossed my arms. “Unethical? That didn’t stop you from crossing lines before.”
She stiffened. “I know what I’ve done, Sarah.
Things that could put me in prison if they were known.
That would cost me way more than just my job.
” She shook her head, and I watched, shocked, when I saw tears briefly glossing her eyes.
She blinked them back, and then her jaw clenched.
“Have you thought of that? That I wouldn’t be able to ever help another child if I’m sent away?
This is my whole life, Sarah. I’ve risked everything to help all of you. ”
I sighed, understanding, yet still needing Johnny. “But, Kristen, you already made the choice to help with Caleb and Blue. What does it matter now if you help us talk to Johnny?”
Holding her chest, she pleaded, “It matters in ways you can’t comprehend.”
“Let’s cut to the chase. Are you refusing to help?” Finn pinned her with a glare.
Determined, she replied, “Correct.”
That pissed me off. “You brought Blue to us. You tried to help her out of the hell she’d been in, and then you let her go back to that woman and her abuser.
” Kristen opened her mouth, but I didn’t give her a chance to talk.
“You helped cover up Caleb’s death.” My voice broke, but I kept talking, pushing through the pain.
“And then you helped take Johnny away from us when we needed each other the most.”
Kristen shoved to her feet. I’d never seen her become this angry. Furious, she began to pace in front of us.
And then I said something that I knew I couldn’t ever take back. “You owe us, Kristen. You owe me.”
“Do you truly have any idea what I’ve done for you?
How much I’ve sacrificed?” She tilted her head back, and a short burst of rage burst from her lips.
“You don’t know what you’re asking me. What you’re wanting.
” A bitter laugh escaped her lips. “You really don’t see it.
” She shook her head. “Do you really want to find Johnny? Are you sure?” Leaning against her hands, now on the table, she leveled us both with a look that made my spine stiffen with a sudden icy chill.
“Do you have a clue what he’s going through? ”
I blinked. “What?” He’s with Styx. He’s safe. Right?
“You’re thinking of only you,” she responded, spouting words that hit a little too hard in my chest. “But have you thought about the danger he’s in?”
Danger? What did she—Oh. Shit. She referred to his past.
Kristen sat back down and reached for one of the thick files she’d brought with her, opening it up to sort through the stacks of papers inside. As she flipped through it, I saw the name JOHNNY WATTS on the cover in black ink.
Then she tossed out a photo.
I nearly choked on a sudden lump in my throat when I saw a photo of Blue, Seb, Gage, Ethan, Finn, Caleb, and me. One of the last times we were all together. I rubbed at my sternum, pushing through the pain that image evoked.
Keep breathing, Sarah.
“I’ve always known my actions could lead to prison one day.” She paused, her chin lifting as our eyes met. “But I still chose to help. I’m still choosing, Sarah. And you need to realize that sometimes my silence, my withholding information… is protection.”
“Fuck,” Finn whispered.
Until that moment, I didn’t realize all Kristen had risked, how she kept every promise, even when I thought that she hadn’t. How she had shown up again and again through impossible situations because she fucking cared. “Kristen, I-I,” I stuttered, unable to finish what I wanted to say.
“Johnny’s name isn’t his real one.” Her gaze held mine, proving again that she could be trusted.
I already thought of that, but hearing it, having it confirmed, was brutal. It’s the only name I knew, and the one attached to the young man I adored.
“You understand the levity of this now,” Kristen said quietly. “The enormity of it. How placing any of you in additional danger isn’t an option.”
“But we need him.” We needed him to stop the boys from killing the pastor…
“And I’m sure he misses you all, but he’s in a battle of his own. Who adopted him—”
“Styx,” I cut in, too emotional to remember I wasn’t supposed to speak that name until Finn looked at me with the widest eyes. Oh shit!
Seeing Finn’s reaction, a clear sign I had ‘spilt the beans’, Kristen’s jaw tightened.
She told me, “See, that’s how na?ve you are.
You are clueless about how to handle all this.
That’s a name I’ve never heard until now.
” She chided, “Johnny’s family has been doing all they can to shield him from leaving any trails, yet you dare to open a possibly dangerous one. ”
Finn’s mind began to race. His questions told me so. “Kristen, why was Johnny suddenly adopted? Is it due to this ‘danger’? Is it… already here?”
I glanced up at his face, marveling at his logic. I never thought of that.
He added, “Kristen, do we need to be watching our backs?”
Elbows on the table, she clasped her hands and stared at us.
Timidly, I asked, “Kristen?” We already had shit to worry about. Were we also in danger because of Johnny’s past?
She finally admitted, “I was told all danger would follow him.”
Finn suddenly growled, “Is that why Johnny killed the drunk driver?”
What? I leaned away from Finn as if he were about to explode! “What are you talking about?”
Kristen’s eyes slid shut.
Finn ignored me and told Kristen, “Give. Us. A. Chance.”
My mind felt like it was melting, and my ears were falling off my head. I was… imploding. Caleb’s murderer is dead?
“There’s a number I can call,” Kristen surrendered.
You have a number?
As if all energy had been drained from her, she tapped on her phone. The name River was all I could see.
I swayed in my seat, numbly asking, “Who’s River?”
She exhaled heavily as she tiredly got up from the bench. “I don’t know.” Then she walked away, phone to her ear.
Too far away to hear her whispers into the phone, I was dumbfounded when she got back and lied, “Wrong number.” She sat back down as if she’d just gained a thousand pounds.
Finn didn’t question her about the lie. He only asked, “If you didn’t think we were in danger, why were you worried about us getting in danger?”
Her shoulders hung and her face almost drooped. “If bad people think you have info they want—” She, not moving an inch, stared at him.
My spinning mind raced me back to the night Blue died. When we were riding in Bertha, Sebastian insisted Johnny be real with us. In return, Johnny had yelled, “All of you being beaten to death to get info on me!”
Finn swallowed. “They torture you.”
Oh my God.
I fainted.
I woke up on the way home. I was buckled in the passenger seat that was laid back. Finn was texting on his phone. With barely any energy to open my mouth, I teased, “I’m telling Harmony you’re texting and driving.”
Not stopping the illegal act, he grinned. “Welcome back, beautiful.”
“Sorry I gave out back there.”
He rolled his eyes. “Girls, so full of drama.” But his joke was as heavy as the worry circling his body.
Weakly, I smiled. “Can I hold your hand when you’re done breaking the law?”
He tossed the phone to the dashboard, then grabbed my hand. “Until I need it to drive, it’s all yours.” Holding my hand, he squeezed. “Trust me, okay?”
I nodded. “Okay.” And fell back to sleep.
When I heard the passenger door open, I did the same with my eyes. What I saw had me cry. “Ethan, what’s wrong with me today?”
From the driver’s seat, Finn unbuckled me, and Ethan scooped me into his arms. “Memories haunting you, baby.”
I assumed he was referring to Caleb, Blue, and Johnny, but when he carried me into the house past worried faces and someone whispering ‘anniversary’, I remembered what day it was.
My head fell back and hung against Ethan’s arm so I could numbly stare at the ceiling.
I forgot.