Chapter 7
Maddie
We spent the next few days at home just putting together the baby's nursery and waiting to hear back from his doctor.
It seems like his whole life is on hold until those DNA test results come back, and I can tell he's stressed, no matter what I try to do to distract him.
He's been working a bit from home be he finally took some of PTO that has been stacking up so he's had a lot of time on his hands.
What he asked me to think about has been on my mind every moment that I'm awake and filling my dreams when I'm asleep.
There is no doubt about it. I want him, and I want him more than I want my next breath.
But the thought of not having him in my life at all because of something happening and us ending badly is a consequence I don't think I'm willing to take.
But every day that goes by, he's finding new ways to show me how he cares about me, new ways to show me how well we work together, how well we know each other, and how well we fit together.
The more time I spend around Faith, the harder I know it's going to be to leave her. And then if you throw in losing Faith in my life, if anything were to happen between Connor and me, well, it's too much to bear.
All this is swirling around in my head when his phone rings and he looks at me, the anxiety clear on his face.
"It’s the doctor," he tells me before answering the phone.
I'm sitting on the other side of the living room so I can't hear the conversation being had. But when Connor closes his eyes and all the stress from the last few days fades away, I know what the answer is.
Connor hasn't once treated that little girl like she's not his. Even after just a few days, I can tell that he is head over heels in love with her, and it would have crushed him if that baby girl was not his. When he gets off the phone, he confirms what I already know.
"She's mine," he says as a huge smile takes over his face.
He rushes over to me and takes the baby out of my arms, and swings her into the air.
"You are mine, baby girl! And you are stuck with me.
That means I will be meeting all of your boyfriends, not that you will be dating before you're thirty.
I'll be the one taking you prom dress shopping. You’ll be learning how to hunt and use a gun from me.
I'll also be the one walking you down the aisle and will be right at your side when you start having kids of your own. I can't fucking wait."
The life he's describing flashes in front of my eyes; all I see is me at his side through it all. In my heart, I know, I know eventually, I'll give in no matter how hard I fight.
"Get dressed. I am taking you on a date because it is time we get out of this house," he says. We jump into action, it takes us an hour to get ready and get the baby ready, but it is so worth it. He’s right; we both needed to get out of the house for a while.
We get to the restaurant and are seated at the table. Though we don't wait long before the waitress walks up, and just like everyone else, she's entranced by Faith.
"Oh my gosh, that baby is so cute! You two have the most beautiful daughter," she says before taking our order, and neither of us corrects her and somehow that moment feels bigger to me than anything else.
Like any other time we're together, dinner is comfortable.
Our conversation is easy as we share food off each other's plates and we talk about people that we know, things that we've done, books we’ve read, and TV shows we need to catch up on.
Then our talk moves to our plans for the next few weeks and about his parents coming home.
Then we discuss the next steps now that we have the DNA test.
He texted his sister the results, and she's already starting on the paperwork. Knowing someone has his back like that is a reassurance.
About halfway through dinner Faith wakes up hungry, and since he eats a lot faster than I do, I decided to start feeding her while he finishes eating. But despite his protests, just like I knew he would, he scarfs down the rest of this food and takes the baby while I finish mine.
Something about this big built muscled guy holding a little baby and feeding her a bottle has my ovaries exploding. How does he seem to know what I need to hear?
"I never would have thought that our first date after all these years would be like this with a baby in tow." He chuckles as he looks down at Faith with so much love in his eyes.
"I guess it's a good thing I absolutely love babies. But yes, this is still the best first date I've ever been on."
From there, we switched to a safer topic, talking about our childhood, some of our favorite memories and growing up in the area.
He tells me more about his time hunting and fishing over in Whiskey River with Axel, and I tell him more about Summer and fill him in on what she has told me about her baby's father.
Neither one of us seems to be in a hurry for the date to end, so we walk to some of the shops nearby and enjoy being out in the fresh air after being cooped up inside for a few days.
The most dangerous part of this date is how I can see this being my new normal, and how Connor is slowly chipping away at any excuse I have for us not to give it another go.
Connor
As I take my girls home, I can't help but focus on those words.
My girls.
I keep saying it over and over in my head. These two are my girls and the family that I want. If I could get her to say yes, I would ask Maddie to marry me and take her down to the courthouse today to prove how serious I am.
With Megan taking care of everything related to Faith and the paperwork involved, my new focus is to convince Maddie to stay forever.
I figured tonight was a good start, so I called it a date, and she didn't correct me.
She also didn't correct the waitress when she referred to her as Faith's mom, and I guess in my eyes I want her to be.
She's already better at taking care of Faith than I am, and I have no idea where I would be without her.
We’ve stopped just outside the door, and with Faith in her carrier fast asleep, I set her at my feet and look back up at Maddie.
"To make this an official date, there has to be an end-of-night kiss," I tell her, closing the space between us.
My arms naturally wrap around her waist, holding her as close to me as I can get. Leaning in, I get a taste of her for the first time in a few days. Her lips on mine make my dick take notice, and before I can stop it, I'm rock hard and there is no way to hide it from her.
When I kiss her, I love the little sounds she makes. The moans and gasps only drive me more and more crazy with need. The need to kiss her harder, the need to make her mine, and the need to never let her go.
All too soon, the kiss is over and we're stepping through that door and back into the comfort and bubble of my apartment. After we both get ready for bed, we wake up Faith to get her ready for bed and her nighttime feeding.
"It’s my turn to take her tonight. You need sleep, too," she says, and I know there's no point in arguing with her.
She sits down on my bed with me as I feed Faith her nighttime bottle. We both watch the baby drink her bottle because there's something so calming and relaxing about it. The next time I look over at Maddie she is fast asleep, and I decided to let her sleep.
I carefully get up and put Faith in her bed. Then I stand in the doorway and enjoy the sight of the girl that I am head over heels for in my bed.
The overwhelming feeling to make her mind floods me again. Even though I know I have to be patient, it’s irritating because patient is the last thing I want to be.
But this won't be the last time I have her in my bed, I will make sure of it.