Chapter 15
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
DEAN
Idon’t remember making it down the hallway. One minute, I was standing outside Aubrey’s bedroom door; the next, I’m inside my own, closing it a little harder than I intended.
The click echoes through the room.
I drag both hands through my hair and let out a long, frustrated breath.
“Fuck.”
What the hell was that?
I pride myself on control. From building my company and through losing my mother. Control has kept every emotion exactly where it belongs for the last nineteen years since she died.
Today, it slipped.
I shrug out of my sweater and toss it toward the chair in the corner. It misses completely, but I don’t bother picking it up.
The room suddenly feels too warm.
I pace once across the bedroom before stopping in front of the windows overlooking Manhattan.
My reflection stares back at me.
“You’ve lost your mind.”
Because I have.
The image of Aubrey standing in her bedroom refuses to leave me alone. The surprised look in her eyes when she realized I’d walked in.
I squeeze my eyes shut.
She trusted me enough to take this job, to live under my roof. She’s taking care of my daughter.
The last thing she needs is me looking at her the way I did.
I sink onto the edge of the bed and stare at the hardwood floor.
I’ve never felt this crazed over a woman.
After my mom died, keeping people at arm’s length became second nature.
Work was simpler. Predictable.
People couldn’t leave if you never let them get close enough to matter.
Then Liana happened … and now Aubrey.
Now, somehow, both of them have worked their way past defenses I spent half my life building.
I replace my jeans with sweatpants, then sit down on my bed, settling back against the headboard. I pull one knee up as I scrub a hand over my face.
My dick throbs in my sweatpants.
It’s been months since I’ve come. With mounting guilt, I reach inside of the material and pull out my dick. I need this. Maybe I’ll actually get some good sleep if I can just get this release.
I begin to move my hand up and down with a tight, angry grip. When I close my eyes, it’s Aubrey I see. Standing in her room with that pink bathing suit that barely covered her tits.
Just the idea of her wearing that in public has me stroking myself harder.
I don’t know where this possession is coming from, but I’m powerless to stop it.
With each stroke, I erase any possibility of turning back from this attraction, eventually coming all over my stomach with a deep, guttural groan.
After I clean myself up, I lie in bed, feeling a mix of relief and fear. Something is taking over me that I’m afraid will result in me losing control and doing what I know I shouldn’t.
Liana’s cry cuts through the silence of my bedroom.
I open my eyes and stare at the ceiling for a moment before rubbing both hands over my face.
I’m exhausted.
Not because Liana kept me up. She actually slept better than she had in weeks.
The problem was me. Every time I closed my eyes, my mind wandered somewhere it had no business going.
Aubrey standing in her bedroom.
The surprised look on her face when I walked in. The way I looked at her. How I couldn’t stop thinking about her afterward.
I let out a slow breath. “Dammit.”
I spent half the night trying to convince myself to let it go. The other half proving I couldn’t.
Liana cries again, louder this time.
“I’m coming.”
I throw the covers back and stand, grateful for the interruption.
Anything is better than spending another minute inside my own head.
As I walk toward the nursery, one thought settles in with startling clarity.
This has to stop.
She’s twenty-two, she lives in my home, and she works for me. None of those facts change because I find her attractive. If anything, they make the attraction more dangerous.
I spent years building a life around discipline and control. It’s time to start acting like it again.
No more inviting her to Central Park. No lingering over dinner after Liana goes to bed or looking for reasons to spend time with her.
Our relationship needs to remain professional, friendly. Nothing more. Because the alternative ends with someone getting hurt.
I push open the nursery door.
The moment Liana sees me, her cries soften into little whimpers before disappearing altogether.
A smile spreads across my face despite everything. “Morning, Peanut.”
She kicks both legs excitedly.
At least one person in this apartment isn’t making my life impossibly complicated.
With Liana balanced against my shoulder, I make my way into the kitchen. The rich smell of coffee hits me immediately.
Aubrey is standing at the counter, pouring herself a cup, her hair twisted into a messy bun on top of her head. She glances over her shoulder the moment she hears my footsteps.
“Morning.” The smile she gives me is warm. The kind that’s become routine over the last few weeks.
For a split second, instinct takes over. I want to smile back and ask what she has planned today. Instead, I tighten my grip on the bottle in my hand.
“Morning.” I head straight for the coffeepot, avoiding her eyes as I grab a mug from the cabinet.
“She slept pretty well,” Aubrey says, glancing down at Liana. “I only heard her once.”
“Yeah.” I pour my coffee. “I noticed.”
An awkward, unfamiliar silence takes over. I can feel Aubrey looking at me. Normally, we’d already be talking about what Liana did yesterday or laughing over some ridiculous moment.
Instead, the only sound is the coffee filling my mug.
“Everything okay?” Aubrey asks carefully.
I nod. “Just tired.”
“You sure?”
“Mmhmm.”
I take a sip of coffee that burns my tongue. Maybe it’ll wake me up enough to stop acting like an idiot.
Out of the corner of my eye, I catch her studying me.
She’s too observant.
“I was thinking …” she begins. “Since it’s supposed to be nice today, maybe this afternoon, I could take Liana downstairs and walk around the courtyard for a little while.”
I don’t even think before answering, “I’ve got her. It’s your day off.” The words come out clipped—possibly too clipped.
Aubrey blinks. “Oh … okay.”
I hate the disappointment that flashes across her face.
She tries to hide it almost immediately, but I already saw it. This is exactly why I shouldn’t have let things get as comfortable as they did.
I clear my throat. “I’m going to take her with me today. He’s been begging to see her again.”
Her expression brightens again. “I bet he’ll love that.”
“He will.”
Another pause settles between us.
I glance down at Liana, who’s happily chewing on her fist, completely oblivious to the tension hanging in the room.
“I should get her diaper bag packed.”
“Okay.”
I nod once before heading toward the nursery. As soon as I’m out of Aubrey’s sight, I let out a slow breath.
That was awful … but it was necessary. She deserves clear boundaries. Not mixed signals from a man who’s old enough to know better.
I gather diapers, wipes, bottles, and an extra sleeper and put them into the diaper bag with more force than necessary.
I sling the diaper bag over my shoulder.
“I think you and I need a little road trip, Peanut.” I smile despite myself. “Grandpa’s been asking when he gets his granddaughter back.”
Maybe a few hours away from the apartment is exactly what I need. A reminder that my life doesn’t revolve around the woman taking up all the space in my mind that I have.
Because if one weekend has me restructuring my entire routine just to avoid her … I’m already in much deeper than I ever intended to be.