18. Forrest
EIGHTEEN
Forrest
Wyatt had promised me my injuries were minor, but I truly felt like I’d been put through a meatgrinder.
Willa kept her arm around me as we walked through the door…the two of us a little worse for wear. Nickel raced for the door the minute we walked in, wagging her tail like mad, whining when she realized we were hurt.
I cursed under my breath when she jumped on me. “Down girl,” I muttered.
“You’re a good girl,” Willa said, crouching to scratch her ears and keep her from knocking me down. “You need to be gentle with your dad, though. He protected me today and got hurt.”
Nickel whined, barely containing herself as I crossed the room and slumped to a seat at the kitchen table.
“I didn’t do all that much,” I murmured. “I’m sorry, Willa…I am really not a fighter.”
She snorted. “Figured as much. But honestly, I don’t want a fighter. You’re a much better lover.”
I laughed out loud at that, which made my ribs hurt, which made me stop laughing.
Nickel came toward me, but Willa was faster.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “Is there anything I can get you—”
“I’m just being a baby,” I laughed, shaking my head. That hurt, too. I close my eyes. “Think I just…really need to go to bed? At least for a bit.”
Willa nodded. “I’ve got you.”
Once again, she helped me up, keeping a hand on me while I hobbled down the hall.
She helped me get undressed, too—pulled my shirt off with a bit of difficulty, then my jeans.
When I was down to my boxers, I basically dropped into bed and then she was getting undressed too—down to just her tshirt and underwear, crawling in under the blankets.
Nickel, satisfied that we weren’t going to start playing that weird game where we kicked her out of the bedroom, hopped on the bed too and rested her head on Willa’s hip, staring across at me with what I had to assume was either concern or irritation.
“You protected me today,” Willa whispered. “That means a lot.”
“I lost my shit,” I replied. “Couldn’t stand them putting their hands on you.”
“They could’ve killed you.”
“But they didn’t.”
“But they could have.” She paused. “And it would have been my fault.”
"It wasn't your fault," I said. "Don't do that."
"Forrest—"
"Willa." I turned my head to look at her. Even that was slow going. "They chose to come to that gate. They chose to put their hands on you. None of that is on you."
She was quiet for a moment.
"I keep thinking about what would have happened if Gage hadn't come," she said.
"He did come."
"But if he hadn't—"
"He did." I found her hand under the blankets. "That's the thing about this family. They show up. Every time."
She laced her fingers through mine.
Nickel shifted on her hip and sighed.
Then I said: “This day should’ve been about you. Not about them.”
“Well…it kind of ended up being about me.”
“Not like that.” I squeezed her hand. “You thought you couldn’t have babies…and you can, Willa. I’ve seen you with Haven and Millie’s kids, I could see how much you wanted it. And you’re pregnant. And it’s ours, not his.”
She swallowed hard. Her head was resting on my shoulder, and I could feel just the faintest hint of tears on my skin.
I didn’t mention it. Knew she didn’t like to be seen as weak…just gave her the moment.
“And right before all that, I was complaining about how you proposed,” she said. “Then you risked your life for me—”
“I would show up for you even if you didn’t want to marry me.”
“Which is why I’m actually saying yes now,” she interrupted. “Fully. No stipulations.”
She propped herself up to look down at me, smoothing her hand gently over my forehead and my hair, then she pressed a delicate kiss to my lips. Her eyes were red with tears; cheeks streaked with them.
“I love you, Forrest Holt,” she said. “I love you so much it hurts to imagine my life without you.”
I looked into her pretty blue eyes for what felt like a very long time…taking in the sight of her. She was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen, and I had proposed to her in a fucking parking lot without once saying the most important three words.
“I love you too,” I said. “I should have said that first. Before the proposal, before any of it.” I reached up to cup her cheek.
“I love you, Willa June. Not because of the baby and not because I want to keep you safe, though both of those things are true.” I searched her face.
“Because you walked into my life and made me want things again. Because you named yourself after the month you got free. Because Dolly chose you in the first ten minutes and Nickel never left your side and you asked so pretty for everything you wanted and you said our land at the gate today like you’d always known it was yours. ”
She let out a wet, teary laugh, then swiped at her eyes.
“Because you knocked on my door that night and told me you wanted me,” I said, “and I’ll be thanking you for it for the rest of my goddamn life.”
She leaned down and kissed me again, careful of the wound on my cheek, her hand cradling my face. When she pulled back, her eyes were still wet but she was smiling.
“You know,” she said, “this is the point in the story when we’re supposed to make passionate love.”
I laughed, which made me hurt again, and made her wince. “I really don’t think that’s on the table.”
“I meant here in bed. We can save the table for later.”
That made me laugh harder.
“Willa…broken ribs—”
“Right, sorry.”
I shook my head and gently dragged my thumb over her cheekbone. “Have I ever told you you’re awfully funny for someone who lived through hell?”
She shrugged. “When Daniela was here she told me that what doesn’t kill you makes you funnier.”
I smiled. “That tracks.”
She settled back against my shoulder, her hand flat on my chest, careful of my ribs.
“You know,” she said. “I’m…I don’t want you to think I’m just doing it because of this, but I kind of lucked out on the in-law lottery. You, on the other hand…”
“We’ve got more than enough family around here to get by,” I said. “Besides, you’re one of us. Not them.”
She was quiet, just breathing against me.
Then: “Do you think our baby will look more like a Holt or like me?”
“You are a Holt.”
She rolled her eyes, looking down at me again. “Forrest.”
“Willa.”
“Be serious.”
“Okay.” I regarded her, letting out a long breath. “I hope she’ll have your eyes. Like the Texas sky.”
“She?”
“Mmhm. Just have a feeling.”
She smiled at that.
"A girl," she said softly. "With your hair."
"Lord help us."
"What's wrong with your hair?"
"Nothing's wrong with it. It's just a lot of hair to manage on a toddler."
She laughed. "I'll learn."
"You'll be great at it."
She settled back down, quiet for a moment. Her hand moved in a slow absent circle on my chest.
“Forrest?”
“Mm.”
"What do you think Sophie would think? About all of this."
I considered that seriously—because she’d asked, and because I knew she needed the truth.
"I think she'd like you," I said. "She had no patience for people who weren't honest. You're the most honest person I've ever met." I paused. "And I think she'd tell me it was about time."
Willa was quiet.
"Is it okay that I asked that?" she said.
"Yeah," I said. "You can always ask."
She nodded. “We should name her that,” she said. “Sophie. I mean—our little girl. Would that be okay?”
It made my heart twist in my chest, but I let out a long breath…nodded slow.
“That would be more than okay.”
We talked like that for a little while longer…and I don’t know when we fell asleep, but by the time we woke, it was dark. My body hurt. Everything ached.
But my heart was so damn full it superseded all the rest.