Chapter 18
Aspen
C old, barren and sterile.
It’s the only way to describe Nikolai’s penthouse. He has all the things one would be in awe of like a chef’s dream kitchen, a million-dollar panoramic view of downtown Moscow, a grand open floor plan that’s expansive enough for small parties or gatherings.
But it lacks warmth. And charm.
There’s no art on the walls, no plants, no throw pillows on the couch, and no intricate designed rugs. The walls, floors, and kitchen cabinets are sterile white, and all the furniture is black.
A funeral home has more life than this.
There’s absolutely no color here but of the view of the city. It smells like it could benefit from being aired out. There’s nothing that shows the character of the owner.
My first impression of Nikolai was that he’s a brute with one objective, his seat as Pakhan. But after spending over a month with him, I’ve realized he’s just uptight, demanding and sometimes soft.
He’s still a sadistic prick with his demands and his stubborn inflexibility. But he’s also a fusser. He fusses over me whenever I show signs of discomfort.
Or when I hold my chest.
That sadist has too much of a keen eye on my every movement. It’s suffocating under his constant scrutiny, yet I’ve never breathed so easily around someone before. Nikolai doesn’t push when he clearly wants to, I see him filing everything away in his head.
I have to be careful, or he’ll know my secret in no time.
“Why does this place feel like a hotel that’s not ready for guests?”
“I never had a reason to make it a home,” he murmurs. “A cleaner comes every Thursday.” He places the small bag he packed for me on the bare chair in the living room. “If you want them to come more frequently, we can arrange that after the lockdown is lifted.”
Walking into the open kitchen, I sweep my hand across the cold marble surface of the island. “What are we supposed to do all day? Look at the view?”
I turn around to look at him. He stands there like a statue of calm and collectedness, hands in his front pockets, his eyes already on me.
“I’m sure we can find something to do.” His eyes drop to my lips.
It’s been a while since he looked at me with heat dancing in his eyes. My core tightens under his gaze, threatening to drench my panties again.
With heated cheeks I stumble out, “what about a tour?”
He tilts his head, motioning me to follow him. “We have five bedrooms and seven baths.”
“Why so many?” By the look of things, this penthouse isn’t used to hosting guests. Why so many rooms and bathrooms?
“If I decide to plan a gathering, I have plenty of space to house them.” We stop at the room deepest in the penthouse. “This is the gym, there’s a small sauna in the back of the room.”
He shows me two bedrooms that are used for storage. A third bedroom he converted into an office. The fourth bedroom was—empty.
“Where’s the furniture?” I ask. Surely, he couldn’t have forgotten that in order to house guests, you have to have a fully furnished guest room.
“Purposely missing.”
My brows twitch. What the hell?
“I’m confused, why—”
“I never thought I would have a guest.”
“Well, where am I supposed to sleep, Nikolai?”
He walks me to the fifth bedroom, the only room with a bed. The bed is large enough for five fully grown adults and maybe two small children. Everything is furnished in warm colors like brown and cream.
“You’re a sadistic prick,” I mumble through tight lips.
“No name calling.” Startling me, he places a quick kiss on my forehead before moving further into the room. “At least there’s a TV. It’s huge, it’ll feel like you’re at the theater.”
He grabs a remote, points it at the wall opposite the bed and pushes a button. A large screen pulls down from the ceiling and got damn it, he’s right. It does feel like the movies.
Snatching the remote from his hand, I quickly search the channels. “Watching the season finale of Her Greatest Love is going to look so good on here!”
Excitement rushes me as I scan through all the networks to find the show and I squeal when I see the show is about to play in ten minutes.
Nikolai helps me out of my heavy coat. “I’ll grab your pajamas and make you some snacks.”
I slip into his shirt and pajama pants before finding the sweetest spot in this massive bed.
If Nikolai has a problem with me wearing his clothes as pajamas, I wouldn’t know since he doesn’t complain about it.
At first, I wore his clothes out of defiance, no way in hell was I going to bed next to a man in borderline lingerie.
But then his scent started reminding me of home, it was comforting.
It makes me feel like I’m wrapped in some protective cocoon.
When I settle under the covers, a long sigh leaves my lips. The bed is just the right firmness, and the covers are the right softness that feels like you’re lying in a bed full of clouds.
No, Aspen, do not get comfortable. This is only temporary.
***
There are soft caresses across my face and arms. When I open my eyes, there are dark translucent lines slowly whipping past my face. As my vision clears, I recognize it’s Nikolai’s shadows.
He’s sleeping.
My shadows are dormant when I am.
The hell they are.
The TV is still on with the volume low. We must have fallen asleep after the show ended.
Sitting up, I wrestle with his shadows to push them to the side. They’re too freaking persistent. I smack one as if it’s a hand and surprisingly it eases up.
All the juice from earlier from the snack-down has filled my bladder to the brim. I make my way quickly to the ensuite bathroom. Never in all my years of living has relieving myself felt so good, I could kiss the stars .
There’s no warning signal before I go into a full-on coughing fit. I cough so hard my chest burns and I struggle to catch my breath. When I uncover my mouth with my hand, there’s thick bloody mucus in the center of my palm.
My lungs are filling up with fluid, now blood, again. Shit. I knew my time was ticking but things seemed to be accelerating. My doctor told me I have Stage D Heart Disease of Severe Pulmonary Edema. She told me that I had a year left.
That was six months ago.
I need to get home quickly while I still have time. If I die here, I know for sure my parents will find the Volkovs guilty of killing me as an act of war. I can’t let that happen no matter the fact that Vladmir kidnapped me and forced my hand into this marriage.
They’re monsters, but they’re mine and they’ve made me feel at home here.
My vision blurs when I make my way to the sink. Hacking up more mucus and spitting it out, I turn the faucet on to wash away the blood.
I take a long look in the mirror.
If Nikolai didn’t wake up from hearing all my organs being coughed up, he’ll know something is amiss by the way I look right now. Blood on my lips and chin. Braids tousled from the internal fight I just fought.
Quickly picking up the toothbrush he set aside for me earlier, I brush my teeth frantically, rinsing the copper taste out of my mouth. When I’m done, I wash my face and smack my cheeks to bring back their color.
Taking a deep breath, I exit the bathroom and run into a brick wall.
Nikolai .
Shit. Shit. Shit.
My heart beats erratically. How long has he been standing here? Minutes or the entire time?
Thick tendrils force my gaze up to meet his.
“You’re pale, Malyshka.” His voice is low, sending icy chills down my back. He studies me, turning my face from side to side.
I clear my throat. “Just tired. I haven’t realized how exhausting these days have been.”
“Hm.”
I’m irrevocably fucked.