Chapter 29
Nikolai
W ith shaking hands, I open Helana’s journal that’s been hiding out in my desk for the past five months.
I took an interest in reading her journals the day Aspen mentioned them when she stayed in her room at the compound.
I knew they’ve been in that desk since we were kids, she lived with my family from time to time.
Everyone knew where we were headed. A love like ours only had one ending. Forever.
So I thought.
I was afraid of reading her words, seeing her handwriting frozen in time. It felt too final, like the acceptance of our story ending. I wasn’t ready to say goodbye.
Opening the journal, I pick a random page to start reading.
Nikolai,
The Tuscany venue is amazing, having our ceremony right before sunset is perfect.
I like to think it signifies sunsetting our childhood love to something more mature and long-lasting.
The lemon ricotta and limoncello cake samples were mouthwatering, they were so moist. I can see myself feeding it to you, wiping icing from the corners of your lips.
Sigh. I can’t wait to exchange our vows and say I love you for all eternity.
Love, Helana.
The drop of water on the page was the only indication that I was crying. She loved that venue and I loved how the color of the sunset danced in her eyes that day. It was our true beginning. We danced until dawn on the beach, long after the guests left.
Nikolai,
I was so excited to tell Quinn about our little one.
I thought she would scream and shout for joy like I did when I saw those two pink lines, but she didn’t.
I was ready to wave it off until she started glaring at me with hateful eyes.
She mumbled something like that was supposed to be her.
Isn’t that an odd thing to say? Shouldn’t you congratulate your best friend, your sister?
Maybe she and her boyfriend Cory were trying for a child, and nothing has come of it?
She told me he’s planning for their marriage, he already got her father’s blessing.
Maybe she’ll be happy for me later. At the end of the day, all that matters is our little growing family.
Who do you think this little bud will look like? Me or you? A mix of the both of us?
Love, Helana.
My fingers clutch the edges of her journal tightly .
Quinn not being overly enthusiastic about our baby is fucking motive to remove Helana as a threat. Helana having our child would have moved me further away from her grasp. Little did she know there was nothing that could take me from Helana. She was my whole fucking world.
How could the woman your wife called a best friend, jump on your dick before her body is cold in the ground? What lengths would she go to have you? Wouldn’t she want her out the picture just like she wants me out the picture now?
That’s what Aspen said, she was fucking right.
Quinn first tried to use sex as comfort barely six months after Helana’s death.
I was too consumed by revenge and blood thirst to notice.
When she became possessive of me, I chalked it up to a Bratva’s princess doing what they all do, staking their claim to power.
I never corrected her since I was never hers and she was just a rental.
A body to fill in the vacancy Helana left for release only.
My plan was to die after I annihilate those that murdered her.
I planned to be with her and our child when all was said and done.
Until Aspen.
From the first day I saw her, I knew who she was. Mine. My mate. My entire world wrapped in defiance, fire and smart remarks. She breathed new life into me, drive and purpose. She gave me something to protect by all means.
Vanilla and jasmine hit my nose before she walks through my office’s door.
Aspen looks like fucking sin in black and velvet, designed to drag me down to my demise. I’d happily go if that means having my hands on her body one last time .
The black dress hugs every curve I’ve spent worshipping and memorizing for weeks.
The swell of her breasts, the dip of her waist, the flare of her hips.
That laced thigh-high slit revealing glimpses of her warm walnut brown skin I’ve marked with my teeth and claimed with my tongue.
Those open-toed heels showing off polished pearly white toes I’ve sucked on countless times, with her screaming my name, her legs thrown over my shoulder, my dick buried so deep she forgot how to breathe.
She rubs her palms down her hips to her thighs. “How do I look?”
A fucking wet dream. A siren.
“Come a little closer, let me see you.” I roll back my seat, giving her space to stand between me and my desk.
Her walk towards me is slow, her hips swaying, that slit revealing and concealing her thighs. Her strides are deliberate, effortlessly seductive. My dick hardens painfully against my zipper. She may play innocent in this moment, but she knows exactly what she’s doing to me.
Finally, when she gets to my desk, her arousal reaches me, taunting me to fuck her right here, right now.
She holds her arms out to her sides. “Well? Do I look alright?” She looks at me, imploring. “Your parents sent this over for tonight’s ascension. Do I look acceptable? I’ve never been to something like this before.”
“Sit,” I command, she follows, her breasts at my eye level. “I can show you better than telling you how fucking edible you look right now.”
She hesitates, biting that full bottom lip. She knows when she does this, it makes me want them around my dick.
“Niko, we don’t have time—”
“We’ll make time.” Running a finger along the edges of her neckline, my nails extend to long sharp points. I drag them down the front of her dress, watching the fabric part like flesh under a knife .
“Niko!” she screams, covering her chest.
Too late, I already saw those brown nipples hardening under my gaze, begging me to suck and tug on them.
“I told you to never hide what’s mine.” My voice is low and menacing. “Hands down or my shadows will come out to play. Final warning.”
As soon as her hands fall to her side, I suck and kiss her breast. Her panting my name, is my favorite prayer on her lips.
My shortened name on her lips sends me into a frenzy.
I use a hand to push her down on my desk, leaving her legs spread completely open, giving me full view of her dampened black lace panties.
With a sly grin, I ask, “wet from a few kisses, baby?” I run a finger along the drenched fabric between her legs, she whimpers. “Or were you dripping for me before you came to see me?”
“Niko, we can’t.” She tries to close her legs. “Everyone is expecting us.”
The fuck we can’t.
“Fuck what they’re expecting. Your pussy needs me now, they can wait.” I rip her panties off, she instinctively places her hands over her dripping pussy. I playfully smack her hand away. Not hard to hurt, just to sting. “I warned you already.”
My shadows snake around her wrists, pinning her hands above her head.
“Niko, please—”
“Please what.” I drop to my knees. “Please stop? Or please keep going?”
I don’t wait for an answer. I bury my face between her thighs and I feast upon her. Groaning against her soaking wet pussy, my tongue swipes through her lips as I worship her, as I pray to her. She tastes like honey and fucking mine.
“Fuck, you’re leaking all over my desk baby.” I thrust two fingers in her while my tongue circles her clit. “All this for me?”
She shivers and shakes with every stroke and completely loses it when I thrust a third finger inside her.
“Only for you,” she pants. “Always you, Niko—”
Her pussy latches and squeezes my fingers and I know she’s close.
I increase the pressure, curling my fingers, hitting that spot I know drives her insane.
She screams, the melody I love leaving her lips as she shatters.
Her release floods my mouth and I drink her greedily, lapping up every single drop.
My dick weeps at the sight of her, all ruined, all mine.
I place a kiss to her swollen clit and stand.
I remove my belt, deliberately slow and methodical with the promise that I will take my time but I won’t be gentle.
Her eyes gleam with lust as I stand over her.
Watching as my shadows jerk her to me, I devour her lips, making her taste herself on my tongue.
“You love it when I taste like you, huh, baby?”
She bites her lips as she looks down between us, watching me stroke my dick before lining it up to her leaking pussy.
“Watch,” I command.
She looks as I thrust in one brutal stroke, fully seated inside her. Our bodies are connected as one because we are fucking one.
“Niko!” Her screams fill the room.
I don’t give her time to adjust when I plow into her, her pussy spasming immediately, begging me to blow my load but I won’t.
A dark laugh rumbles from my chest. “Coming again already, baby?”
“Niko,” she moans and I go feral pounding into her, the only sounds in here are her screams, the rattling of the desk and the sloshing of liquid as I drill into her again and again and fucking again.
“Who do you belong to?” I demand.
She chants my name like a mantra but that’s not the fucking answer I want to hear.
“Wrong answer.” I grip her throat, squeezing just enough to make her breath catch. “Tell me whose pussy this is?”
“Y-yours,” she gasps, trying to catch her breath between each thrust.
“And who am I?” I growl. “Let.” Thrust. “Me.” Thrust. “Hear you.” Slam. “Scream it.” Slam.
“My husband!” She wails as another orgasm tears through her for the third time straight and I’m so fucking close too.
“That’s fucking right.” My control is slipping with every thrust, every slap of our bodies. “Tell me you’re fucking mine.”
“Yes, yes Niko. I’m yours, all yours.”
“And I’m yours,” I growl.
That’s fucking right, I’m all hers and she’s all mine, even though I feel her slowly slipping away, right out of my grasp. Like she’s silently telling me goodbye.
I bend down, kissing and licking her throat, my thrusts becoming erratic. “I can’t lose you,” I rasp against her pulse point. “Not you. Not again.”
My fangs elongate on instinct, leaking venom.
Every instinct scream at me to bite, to claim, to bind her to me.
Thoughts of her moving far, out of my reach, her disappearing, play behind my eyes.
The way she’s been looking at me this past week as if she’s trying to memorize me, us. Like she’s already gone.
Are you leaving by death or walking away completely, Aspen? Either way, I’m not letting you go.
Not now, not ever.
Before I can stop myself, my fangs pierce her neck.
Her blood bursts against my tongue for the second time but this time I savor the taste.
It’s warm and intoxicating. Just like her.
I drive into her one final time, my balls tighten, a knot is formed and I come harder than I ever have, emptying myself inside her as she screams and arches into me, drenching me for the fourth time.
The mating bond snaps in place like a chain around my heart. Permanent. Unbreakable. Mine.
Fuck.
What did I do?
I can’t say I regret what I did. I was going to lose her if I didn’t—
I bite my lip, drawing blood, spreading it across the two puncture wounds on her neck. The mark fades but the bond remains, invisible and eternal. I lick her neck clean of my blood. Aspen is too deep in the afterglow of her pleasure to notice what happened, to notice what I’ve done.
The choice I’ve taken from her.
She’ll hate me for this when she finds out. But she’ll be alive to hate me for it. And I have eternity to make it up to her. Even if she doesn’t forgive me, she can’t deny she’s mine.
And I’m hers. Always and forever.
Her arms are still around my neck, her entire body trembling as she tries to come down from her high. I kiss that spot on her neck, lovingly, satisfied yet feeling guilty. The mark may have disappeared but not her fate being tied to mine.
When she catches her breath, she loosens her hold on me.
“You ruined my dress.”
“Good. I already ordered one for you.”
My knot loosens and I slide out of her, reluctantly, loving how my cum is mixed with hers as it leaks to the floor. I push our cum back inside of her. We can’t be too wasteful, can we?
“What I picked out for you is custom-made. Hurry and put it on, you’re making us late.”
She squeals. “Niko, this is your fault not mine.”
I lift a shoulder. “The blame is all on you. You knew I would pounce the moment I saw you in that fuck me dress.”
“You ruined my hair!” she protests.
“I could ruin it again. Ruining it twice should cancel each other out, right? I was never great in math, but I think that’s the correct formula.”
Malyshka, there’s no more running away. You are mine, now and forever.
Til death do us part.