Chapter 31
Aspen
W hen Nikolai told me our ascension was at thee Kremlin Palace, I could have passed out from shock alone. This place is sacred to Russia, sacred to the underground.
The Grand Room Hall stretches endlessly with a vaulted ceiling bearing tales as old as time.
There’s white plasterwork and gold leaf that vibrates with luminescence above us.
Gold covers every surface including the archways, with intricate molding on the walls and doorways.
White columns made of marble stand tall, demanding attention.
It’s power.
It’s wealth.
It’s beautiful.
Just like the dress Nikolai custom made for me.
It’s the same color as his hair. It drips over my skin like liquid starlight, every inch is encrusted with crystals, and I shine as bright as the stars themselves.
It’s strapless, with a sweetheart neckline and it hugs every curve from my breast to my ankles.
He dressed me in an image that commanded eyes, to be desired, to be respected.
A sinking feeling settles in my stomach as I watch Nikolai disappear within the crowd, making me uneasy. Turning my focus to Roman, I ask, “did Sergei seem strange to you?”
“If you’re referring to the off-value brand of your husband, then yes.” He takes my hand to pull me to the side for more privacy. “Sergei boy has been playing with that necklace around his neck since I spotted him when I got here.”
I poke out my hip. “And how long has that been?”
He shrugs. “An hour.”
“You’ve been watching all of us for an hour?”
He smiles, though it doesn’t reach his eyes. “The SRU has surrounded the palace for three hours. What’s one hour for me to catch up to what they already know?”
He brought the recovery unit, why?
“Why are they even here Roman?”
“Your extraction is today, Princess.”
I flinch back from him. “No, I still have time.”
“Well,” he rocks back on his heels. “Mom said time’s up.”
Grounding my feet, I tell him, “I’m staying.” I fold my arms across my chest, ready for a standoff. “I’m going to tell him the truth, about me.”
He grits his teeth. “You’d risk our family for a stranger?”
“He is my family.” I challenge him, uncrossing my arms. “He will listen and he will accept me.”
“Even if he does, mom won’t allow this. I won’t either. You always dive headfirst and I’m the one that has to fish you out. Whatever feelings you think you have, they’ll go away once you’re—”
His eyes scan something behind me, then his eyes go from corner to corner.
“Shit, there’s too many exits,” he mutters. “We need more security inside.”
“What— ”
“Aspen?” Sorcha interrupts us, her smile doesn’t betray if she heard anything Roman and I were talking about. “Is this gentleman, your brother.” She raises her diamond clad hands in Roman’s direction. She’s in a black dress with laced long sleeves.
“Yes, I am.” He extends his hand out to her. “I’m Roman.”
She shakes his hand. “Ah! I’ve been dying to meet you.
” She releases his hands, clapping hers together as she continues, “I’ve been waiting for you to visit us.
I know how siblings can worry over the other.
I would know, I still worry about my very old, older brother.
Can you believe he wanted to live off the grid? Ha! Insanity.”
“Now, now dear. Don’t bore our guest with your precious rambling,” Vladmir cuts in. “Hello Roman, it has been a while. I hope you’ve been well.”
“As well as I can be with not being able to physically see my little sister for months.” He takes a drink off of a server’s tray and takes a sip.
“You could have come over to the compound—”
“I wasn’t invited.” Roman cuts him off.
“Nonsense, you’re always welcome. We’re family.”
“Truly. Our family is small, but I believe you will fit right in. Our darling Aspen did.” Sorcha chimes in, rubbing small circles on my back.
He shifts his weight. “It appears that she has.”
“Roman, if you could excuse me.” Vladmir extend his arms towards me. “I would like to dance with my daughter before she ascends to her throne.”
“Ah!” Sorcha squeals. “I can introduce you to my daughters and son-in-love. ”
Roman nods, and I take Vladmir’s arm, allowing him to usher us to the middle of the floor. I still feel Roman’s eyes on me though.
Vladmir holds his arms out in an upright position. “Are you familiar with the waltz, little one?”
I huff a small laugh, remembering all of my lessons with Petro. “I’m classically trained, yes.”
My dad also taught me. His lessons were more rigorous than Petro’s. With Petro, it was fun and light. Not so much with my dad, well not in the beginning. Only much later did I start to enjoy dancing with him.
My dad said learning the waltz was one of the many things he weaponized to win mom over. That and causing complete chaos when she ran away when she was pregnant with the twins.
We get in position and Vladmir leads us across the floor. “Are you happy, little one? With all things considered, of course.” His gaze is curious behind the same eyes as Nikolai. Vladmir’s eyes are warm as he grips my hand and waist, making me feel safe.
Like I’m dancing with my own dad.
I drop my eyes to his feet. “I am.”
“My eyes are up here, little one,” he says playfully. “When you walk up to your throne tonight, you will seal your rule in blood. Remember you have us, your family, and an army behind your back. Your enemy is our enemy.”
“What if the enemy is in our house?”
“Then we eliminate them,” he says with no hesitation. “If family can turn against us, then they were never family to begin with.”
We continue to waltz, him letting his words settle over me. Vladmir dips me but pulls me up too quickly. He tucks me to his side, his eyes scanning the room. I search the room too, finding nothing to warrant as anything suspicious.
“What is it?” I ask, still looking around the room.
“Just being cautious. Ceremonies like this can attract… attention.” He smiles, though it doesn’t reach his eyes. “Nothing to worry yourself with, little one.”
Funny. Roman was acting similarly moments ago. My eyes search for him, when I find him, he already has his eyes on me. He scratches his knuckles. Something is off , he communicates.
“Aspen, the ascension ceremony is starting soon. I’ll grab Ni—”
“I’ll get him,” I cut Vladmir off. “I want to talk to him before we… you know.”
He nods. “Take a few soldiers.”
“No!” I stop him before he calls anyone over. “I’ll be fine. You know I can protect myself.”
“Still,” he reasons.
“Really, I’m fine.” I move towards the direction I saw Nikolai and Sergei went before Vladmir can protest any further, grabbing a wine glass from a nearby server on my way out.
The halls are longer than I expected as Nikolai’s lingering scent is the only thing guiding me to him. Coffee, lavender and gunmetal.Since the last time we had sex earlier, my sense of smell has heightened, as if I’m coated in his pheromones, with them demanding that I know I’m his.
As if I could forget. The way he claims me over and over, he won’t let me ignore the promises his body makes with the words he says.
“Lost?” Sergei steps from the shadows, his fangs elongated. He stands there in his usual holier than thou stance, with a half empty wine glass, like he’s been waiting.
Has he been waiting for me?
Shaking the thought away, I walk past him. “No, I know exactly where I’m going.” He will not deter or disturb me tonight.
With mocking intent, he says, “I’m not sure you’re going to like what you see once you reach your destination.”
I whirl around, standing in front of him. “What is your problem with me Sergei?” I haven’t forgotten how he tried to feed me poison or how he threw the picture of Nikolai and Quinn at my face. “You have a personal vendetta against me, and I want to know why.”
I square up to him, he may tower over me, but I’ve taken men twice his size down. It’ll be easy to flip him, pin him under my heel, giving me just enough time to pull my lipstick from my breast.
He steps into my space, looming, menacing.
“No personal vendetta. You just need to understand you’re a place holder.
He’ll ruin you like he’s ruined her.” He puts a finger up, shaking his head.
“But I tried to warn you,” his voice trails off with a slur.
“He’s no good for you, but he’s perfect for her.
Leave while you still have your dignity, Aspen. ”
“Oh, fuck you, Sergei, you know nothing about us. Why do you think Quinn is better than me?”
“She’s not.” His eyes drift to the end of the hall while he mindlessly plays with his necklace.
“Then why do you keep getting in our way?” I round on him. “Why were you trying to kill me with nightshade?!”
Sergei rears back like I’ve slapped him. “Kill you? I’ve never— whatever. If you stay, your heart will be the casualty, and I won’t be able to fix it when he breaks it. ”
“So, what is all of this Sergei? Your idea of trying to protect me now?”
“Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” He raises his hands in mock surrender. “Go and crush your own heart. Go and find out you were a fool to give your heart to a man that had no intention of keeping it. A man that was never yours. Make sure you cry to your brother when you’re done, ok?”
He turns, walking away from me with a sway to his movements.
I stand here where he left me, chest heaving, doubt slowly creeping in like an old friend. It’s laughing at me, calling me a fool. But it’s wrong. Sergei is wrong. What Nikolia and I have is real. I know it is.
Nikolai scent is all over the door in front of me. There’s commotion behind it, like a… lover’s quarrel. Opening the door halfway, my entire world tips on its axis and I’m no longer within my own body.
My heart stops, time stills.
What I’m seeing can’t be real.
Nikolai isn’t gripping Quinn’s arms in a searing kiss. She isn’t fucking… melting against the kiss that was supposed to be only meant for me.
Only mine to have.
Sergei fucking knew what I was about to see. That’s why he was waiting. He wanted to prevent me from witnessing—
Something in me shatters.
No, it’s glass at my feet that shatters.
When did I drop the wine glass?
“Aspen,” his voice brings me out of my trance. “Baby, let me explain.”
But there’s nothing to explain, is there ?
Sergei was right. I am the fool. Nikolai was never mine, he was Quinn’s. Or maybe he was never anyone’s.
My vision blurs as I run down the hall I came from, hiking my dress up, trying to be careful not to fall. Forcing the hot roaring wail that’s inside my throat down, I keep running until I see Roman drift from the shadows.
Concern etches his face. “Pen, what is it?” He’s in front of me instantly, assessing my face. “We need to leave now—”
“Aspen, wait!” Nikolai’s voice thunders from behind us. “Malyshka, please listen—”
I whirl around. “You don’t get to call me that, you fucking liar.”
“Baby, please let me explain.” He begs, his hands raised in mock surrender, walking towards us slowly.
“Fuck you, you fucking liar.” I spit out. “And to think I was going to tell you everything.” I shake my head, willing my tears to dry. He doesn’t deserve to see me like this, broken. “I’m such a fool,” I whisper out.
“Aspen, it’s not what it seems—”
I toss my hands up, commanding him to stop, to not come any closer. “You kissed her. I saw you!”
“She kissed me!” His voice bellows. “I was pushing her away when you—”
“Just stop, Nikolai,” I say, feeling a sharp pain behind my eyes. “I don’t believe you.”
His face shatters, like his heart is as broken as mine. I won’t let him fool me again.
“Baby,” he chokes out .
Roman grabs my arm. “We’re leaving now,” he hisses.
“You’re not taking my wife from me!” He roars, his shadows exploding around, seeking me.
My eyes flutter close, tears falling in a steady stream down my face. “Nikolai, please don’t—”
“Pen, it’s a great time to take a walk.” Roman says with clenched teeth.
My eyes widen and when I look at Nikolai, he’s already rushing towards me with blown silver eyes turning black.
The room goes white.
BOOM.
The explosion throws me backwards, separating me from Roman. Heat prickles my skin, fire dancing across my dress and muffled screams flow through my ears.
Did the SRU bomb the palace just to extract me?
No, that can’t be right. They wouldn’t do that if it meant me becoming a casualty.
“ASPEN!” Nikolai’s roar cuts through the ringing sound. His voice becoming more frantic as he yells out my name.
I can’t call back to him, my vocal cords won’t work, I’m losing focus.
Strong hands grab me, lifting me into a cradling position.
A woodsy scent fills my nose.
It’s Roman.
Smoke stings my eyes as I fight my brain to stay conscious, but I’m losing it.
The last thing I see before Roman steps into the shadow is Nikolai’s devastated face, his hands and shadows reaching for me through the flames .
I reach out to him. “Ni-ko,” his name leaves my lips as a plea.
The world turns inky black.
I love you.