Chapter 18 Calla
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
CALLA
Subject: Mandatory Meeting - Protocol Leadership Review
Dr. Karras,
You are required to attend a meeting in Dr. Patel's office at 8:00 AM regarding an ethics inquiry. Your attendance is mandatory. Please do not discuss this matter with other staff members prior to the meeting.
Regards, Obsidian Hospital Ethics Board
I read it three times, my heart beating faster with each pass.
Ethics inquiry. Mandatory meeting.
What happened?
I showered and dressed, my mind churning through possibilities. Did someone complain about our work on the protocol? Found fault with our methodology? Or questioned our research conclusions?
Or was this about something else entirely?
I arrived at Dr. Patel's office five minutes earlier. Cassian was already there, standing in the hallway outside her door, his face drawn and pale. He looked like he hadn't slept. His hair was disheveled, his scrubs wrinkled, and there were dark circles carved beneath his green eyes.
"Hey," I said.
"Hey." His voice was rough. Exhausted.
"Do you know what this is about?"
He shook his head. "Got the same email you did. No details."
We stood in silence, both of us too tired and too anxious for small talk. I wanted to ask him about the text I sent and know why he hadn't responded, know what he was thinking, or if anything had changed since the last time we spoke.
But this wasn't the moment. Whatever was waiting for us behind that door, we needed to face it.
At exactly 8:00 AM, the door opened.
Dr. Patel stood in the doorway, wearing a grave expression. "Come in."
Her office looked different than it had during my orientation.
The warm, welcoming space had been transformed into something more formal.
Two people I didn't recognize sat in chairs against the wall, a man and a woman in business attire, their faces carefully neutral.
The woman had a tablet on her lap. While the man held a folder thick with papers.
"Please, sit down." Patel gestured to the two chairs facing her desk. Cassian and I sat, and I felt the weight of four pairs of eyes pressing down on us.
"Dr. Reed and Dr. Karras, these are representatives from the hospital's ethics board." Patel nodded toward the strangers. "Dr. Evelyn Cross and Mr. Nathan Webb. They're here regarding a complaint that was filed yesterday afternoon."
"About what?" Cassian asked.
The woman, Dr. Cross, consulted her tablet.
"The hospital received an anonymous tip regarding your conduct during the recent mass casualty response at Riverside General.
" She looked up, her gaze moving between us.
"Specifically, the allegation states that the two of you engaged in sexual relations while sharing a hotel room during that assignment. "
I froze.
"That's not true," I said immediately. "Nothing happened between us."
"We shared a room because it was the only one available," Cassian added, his voice tight. "The hospital was overwhelmed. There were no other options."
"We understand that accommodations were limited," Mr. Webb said. "However, the complaint raises concerns about the nature of your relationship and whether it compromises your ability to co-lead the trauma protocol objectively."
"Our relationship is professional," I said. "Every decision we've made regarding the protocol has been based on medical evidence and best practices. Nothing inappropriate happened at that hotel."
"The complaint suggests otherwise." Dr. Cross's voice was calm, cool. "It alleges that your conduct has created a conflict of interest that undermines the integrity of the protocol."
"That's ridiculous," Cassian said. "Who filed this complaint?"
"The complaint was anonymous. We're not at liberty to disclose the source."
My jaw clenched. Anonymous. Someone had lied about us, accusing us of something we hadn't done, and they got to hide behind anonymity while our careers hung in the balance.
"What will happen now?" I asked.
"An investigation will be conducted," Mr. Webb said. "We'll interview staff members who were present during the district hospital response, review communication records, and assess whether there's any evidence to support the allegations."
Cassian rubbed his cheek. "And in the meantime?"
"You'll both continue your regular duties. However, we ask that you limit your interactions to strictly professional matters until the investigation concludes." He closed his folder. "We'll reach a decision within three days."
"Do you have any questions?" Dr. Patel asked.
I had dozens. But none of them would help.
"No," I said.
"No," Cassian echoed.
"Then you're dismissed. I'll keep you updated on the investigation's progress."
We stood, walked out of the office, and made it halfway down the hallway before either of us spoke.
"The roof," Cassian said quietly. "We need to talk."
I followed him. It was the same place we'd stood together after the hotel, watching the sunrise, trying to make sense of everything that was happening between us.
It felt like a lifetime ago.
The morning air was cold, biting through my white coat, but I barely noticed. My mind was racing, cycling through the meeting and the accusations if us having sexual relations.
"Who would do this?" I asked.
Cassian leaned against the railing, his back to the city below. His face was a mess of exhaustion and guilt, and when he spoke, his voice was barely above a whisper.
"Maya."
I stared at him. "What?"
"She left last night." He rubbed a hand over his face, the gesture heavy with fatigue. "She saw the text you sent. The one about being friends and still loving me."
My stomach dropped. "Cassian—"
"She asked me questions. About you. About us.
About what happened at the hotel." He met my eyes, and I saw the weight he was carrying there.
The guilt. The grief. The confusion of a man whose life had just imploded.
"I told her the truth. That you confessed to me and that we shared a room. That we woke up..." He trailed off.
"Woke up how?"
"Together. Tangled up in each other." His jaw worked. "I told her it wasn't intentional, that nothing happened, but she didn't believe me. Or maybe she did believe me and it didn't matter. Either way, she left."
I didn't know what to say. Part of me wanted to feel vindicated, to see Maya's departure as the removal of an obstacle between us. But I couldn't. Not when Cassian looked like this.
I could see how much her leaving had cost him.
"You think she filed the ethics complaint," I said.
"I don't know. Maybe. She was angry and hurt." He shook his head. "I can't blame her. I lied to her for weeks. Not directly, but by omission. I let her believe everything was fine when it wasn't."
"That doesn't give her the right to accuse us of something we didn't do."
"No. It doesn't." He turned to face the city, his hands gripping the railing. "But she's not the one who destroyed our relationship. I did that all on my own."
We stood there in the cold morning air, both of us processing, both of us trying to figure out what came next.
"What does this mean?" I finally asked.
Cassian was quiet for a long moment. "I don't know."
"You don't know what this means? Or you don't know what you want?"
"Both." He turned to look at me, and his green eyes were full of something I couldn't read. "Maya left less than twenty-four hours ago. I'm under investigation for something I didn't do. My entire life is in chaos right now, and I don't trust myself to make any decisions about anything."
I wanted to push and demand answers, to know where I stood, to finally have the clarity I'd been craving since I'd walked back into his life six weeks ago.
But I could see how close to the edge he was. Pushing him now would only break something that might not be fixable.
"Okay," I said, the word tasted like defeat.
"Calla." He reached for my hand, then stopped himself, his fingers curling into a fist at his side. "I'm not saying no. I'm just saying not now. Can you understand that?"
"I understand." I wrapped my arms around myself, trying to ward off a chill that had nothing to do with the temperature.
"I just don't know how long I can keep waiting.
" Even as I said it I knew it was a lie. I knew, in my heart, that I’d wait for however long I should as long as he was gonna be with me.
"I know. And I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry I can't give you more than that right now."
We stood there on the rooftop, close enough to touch but not touching, both of us wanting something we couldn't have.
The city spread out below us, millions of people going about their lives, unaware that two people on a hospital rooftop were trying to navigate the ruins of choices they hadn't even made.
"I got another email from Daniel," I said eventually. "He needs an answer about the position soon."
Cassian nodded slowly. "What are you going to tell him?"
"I don't know. A week ago, I would have said no without hesitating. I didn't want to run again or make the same mistake I made five years ago." I stared at the horizon and the sun climbing higher in the sky. "But now... I don't know what I'm staying for anymore."
"You're staying for your career and for everything you've built here."
"Am I? Or am I staying because I keep hoping you'll choose me, and I'm too afraid to leave in case you finally do?"
He didn't answer. Or he didn't have an answer to give.
"I should go," I said. "I have patients to see. A job to do. All the things that are supposed to matter more than this."
"Calla, wait."
I paused, looking back at him.
"I know this isn't what you want to hear.
And I know I'm asking you to be patient when you've already been patient for five years.
" His voice cracked, just slightly. "But I need you to know that what you said in that stairwell.
.. it meant something to me. It means something. I just can't act on it right now."
I raised a brow. "Because of the investigation."
"Because of everything. The investigation, Maya, and the fact that I don't trust my own judgment anymore.
" He ran a hand through his hair. "I've spent the last eight months convincing myself that I'd moved on and what I had with Maya was enough.
And now that's blown up in my face, and I don't know what's real and what's just... reaction or nostalgia.”
"Is that what I am to you? Nostalgia?"
"No." I was certain. "You're not familiar or nostalgia. You're terrifying. You've always been terrifying, because loving you means risking everything, and I've already lost so much."
Tears pricked my eyes, but blinked them back.
This wasn't the time or the place…