Chapter 17
Vessa
Eight Months Later
All her focus was on the task at hand. There was no room for mistakes. It had to be flawless.
Vessa lifted the flat pan and flipped the hotcake. It landed in the center, and its underside was cooked to the perfect golden-brown.
Just two days ago, she had traveled hours to trade an old converter for a jar of the best fruit spread this side of the universe.
Carrying her breakfast and freshly squeezed juice, she moved to her makeshift patio.
She was truly spoiled by the view. Between the two rising suns and the one forever frozen in sunset, the sky was a painting caught between dusk and dawn.
Lush jungles surrounded her on all sides.
The scent of wildflowers and last night’s rain hung tangled in the air.
As she curled up in her cushioned seat, her hair blew in the warm wind, and she listened to the orchestra of an untamable wilderness that never slept. She ate her breakfast slowly, attempting to fully experience and savor each bite until even the last of the jam on her plate was licked off.
The perfect start to a perfect day.
Except, she found no pleasure in her surroundings. Her flawless pancake with extra jam was nothing but ash on her tongue. As much as it should be right, everything felt so fucking wrong.
Vessa hadn’t wanted to settle anywhere, but everything had changed since that frigid planet where she was forced to meet her past. That beautiful and wretched past in the shape of a Xaal.
That doomed mission had been a reckoning.
Her heart was broken and the pain was unbearable.
She expected it to pass. For three months she drifted in the astral waves of an outer system, ignoring all petitions for work.
She tried to numb it away with an unquantifiable amount of dumplings and ice cream, and by watching over two thousand episodes of Between Dimensions.
But there was no burying it. No cure, no numbing herself. She felt every excruciating second of it. Instead of softening with time, the heartache devoured her. It was a longing that couldn’t be satiated.
Some fundamental part of herself was missing.
Stepping out from the overhang of her ship, she stretched slowly, her hands reaching for the mottled sky. She’d chosen the planet of Lovo specifically. It had three suns, stayed hot all year round, and reminded her of home.
The real reason, though, was because she’d been pulled to the planet by an unexplainable force. And gods, she was desperate. Desperate to put her broken pieces back together again. To fill the terrible chasm within her.
But the damage was too great. She’d left something too vital behind. The blood challenge hadn’t ended in death, but she died on that planet all the same.
Pushing her body to the point of exhaustion offered only a little reprieve, but she took anything she could get.
Vessa rolled her neck out, stretched out her legs.
And then she ran.
The jungle, with its ancient, gnarled trees dressed decadently in their green moss, enveloped her.
Pumping her arms and willing her legs to take her faster, she remained aware of her surroundings.
This place still saw her as other, unlike the forests of her home.
But she hoped that one day soon, it would fully welcome her as its own.
Vessa leapt over a downed tree but kept her hard pace.
The world flashed by in a rush of emeralds and blues.
And she could just pretend. Pretend she was fine.
Pretend that after her run, she would return to her faction and eat breakfast with her parents.
Pretend that she’d never met a violet-eyed Xaal who told her she was everything to him.
Something shifted in the foliage to her left. The sound was near silent. So quiet it was unnatural. She maintained her pace, but all her awareness was on what trailed her. Casually pushing her hair behind her ear, she looked over her shoulder.
Nothing was there.
A cold awareness descended upon her.
She was being hunted.
Among other predators, there were wyr cats in this jungle.
They were impeccable hunters—their muted black coats allowed them to blend in with the shadows and all the dark spots in the thick underbrush or high within the trees.
When Vessa had mapped the jungle, she also noted their territories.
Though she was well away from most, that didn’t mean anything.
A wyr cat was exceptionally unpredictable and could bring her down easily if it decided she was prey.
But maybe it was something else.
Vessa had her raze sword strapped to her thigh, and her fingers itched to pull it from its sheath.
But if she announced that she knew too early, she might never find out her hunter’s identity.
Taking the more arduous path, she slowed only a little, catching her breath in preparation for a fight.
Whatever it was, it would most likely attack her from the back or the side.
And that was exactly where her focus was when detritus shifted and lifted in front of her.
Something or someone was here. And they were cloaked.
They were five paces away from her when she leapt off the path and into the giant leaves.
Her foot slipped, but she managed to stay upright.
The map of the jungle was embedded in her mind, but she’d also marked certain trees when she was first learning it.
Those markings were useful as she crashed through the underbrush and swerved around big trunks.
When she no longer felt the prickle on the back of her neck, she crouched and disappeared into the undergrowth.
It was an entirely different universe here.
The thick earthy humidity made catching her breath more difficult.
She ignored the slithering meander of a too-many-legged insect as she crept forward.
Everything was quiet. Too quiet. There was a predator here, and even this jungle, with its prowling beasts and venomous snakes, was silent in its presence.
Whatever it was, it didn’t belong here.
Vessa moved slowly and silently, picking her way back in the direction of her ship. There were many beings with cloaking capabilities, either through gear or biology—most of which she wouldn’t want to run into like this.
A twig snapped nearby. The barely there sound was a blaring alarm amongst the silent giants of the trees.
Vessa crouched lower and peered between two broad leaves.
She couldn’t see anything, but she felt it.
Quietly, she unsheathed her raze sword. She crept around the wide base of the nearby tree, navigating its thick and twisting roots. When she was on the other side, she took a deep breath.
Bounding up from her hiding spot with a battle cry, she ran toward the cloaked being, her raze sword extended out, ready for contact.
They collided.
A hand wrapped around her wrist as the ground came up to meet her. Her breath left her in a growl, but her blade was in hand—lifted to meet her opponent. She bared her teeth.
Their cloak dissipated.
Kedar wore no helmet. Even after she’d denied him.
His fangs were visible through his parted lips, and there was open, predatory hunger in his gaze as he took her in.
His neck was stretched out so that her blade rested against the pulsing artery that ran up the side.
A single trickle of blood leaked down the edge of her sword.
Their chests lifted in unison.
Kedar brought her captured hand to his face, flattening her palm against his warm cheek. “Have I ever told you how beautiful you are when you’re trying to kill me?”
A warmth she hadn’t felt in so long filled her chest. “How?”
His gaze traced her lips. Something molten and dreadful pooled in her stomach. She squeezed her thighs together, but his eyes sparked with a knowing mischief. “When I said I wouldn’t stop hunting you, that wasn’t a threat, my love. It was an oath.”
“But how did you find me? I made sure to leave the plasma dirk on board.” Not because she hadn’t wanted to be found by him. She had, desperately. But because she didn’t deserve to be found by him again. Not after everything.
He reached toward her face, hesitantly. Reverently. The rough pads of his fingers brushed against her cheek as he tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. Her own hand seemed unable to move from his face, the warmth of him undeniable. He was here.
“My hearts knew the way.” His voice was so soft that it made her own heart ache in response.
“And why have you come?” she asked evenly.
He brought his body lower, unconcerned with her blade. “I belong to no planet or clan. I have no bruvya. I am only yours, Vessa. I’ve been yours. I’ve come to claim you and be claimed in return. To lay my blades at your feet—freely give you my mask and any honor I have left.”
He lowered his head to her throat. She flattened the sharp edge of her raze sword against him, allowing it. Then his hot breath was fanning across her collarbone, and his fangs scraped against the thin flesh over her jugular
She shivered against him. It felt so damn right. Like her body had been asleep this entire time, but now every nerve was lit up. Her heart had been a black and dead thing, and it was suddenly alive.
“Otherwise,” he rasped, “there is still the challenge you agreed to.”
His death. He would have her kill him.
Even though he’d trained for all that time, he wouldn’t hurt her now. She wasn’t certain he could have finished the kill before on that icy planet. Not if beneath the helmet and his rough exterior, he’d been looking at her like this all along.
But was it enough? Were they enough?
“The challenge,” she muttered as her free hand moved to his side and she fisted the material against his ribs.
He trailed his tongue over her throat, tasting her sweat, before locking eyes with her. “If you do not accept me as clan and mate, then the challenge must be completed. I’m so tired of living without you.”
“Mate?” she breathed. The word was a wish she had long ago buried, set free.
He’d spent seven years hunting her down merely because she hadn’t killed him, and another because she’d once more left the debt unpaid. He expected her to deny him again. After all, she’d done it so easily before.
Something dark filled his eyes at her silence. Defeat. “You owe me a death, then.”
Vessa rolled them efficiently, a move she’d learned how to do long ago with this very Xaal.
She brought her blade’s point directly over his throat.
Kedar wetted his lips, swallowed hard, but he never took his eyes off hers.
He gripped her hips as if there was nowhere he’d rather be than here, beneath her blade. At her mercy.
“You say I owe you a death,” she said.
He nodded slightly.
She retracted the blade. “What about a life instead?”
“Vessa,” he rasped, agony dripping from each syllable. “Don’t say this. No tricks. No half-truths.”
“I have no idea how we will do it,” she confessed. “All I know is I’m so tired of losing everything I want. And I want you, Kedar. My heart broke the moment I left you in that cave.”
“Truth?” he asked, searching her eyes for any sign of doubt. “You want me?”
“Gods, I do.”
His smile was wicked—all fang and triumph.
And the most beautiful thing she’d ever seen. She’d destroy entire star systems for that damn smile.
Kedar rolled them back over and buried his face in her neck, in her hair. He groaned after sniffing her loudly. “Stars, I missed you, Ves. Missed your attitude, your scent.”
“I’m sweating,” she murmured. But gods, he smelled good, too. Her heart chanted the truth with each beat. Home. Home. Home.
“I know,” he rumbled. “My favorite.” He sounded drunk off her scent alone.
“Do you understand how gross that is?”
Kedar hiked one of her legs up higher on his waist to settle more fully between her legs. Heat tore through her. “I do not care. Your scent has always pleased me, in all its forms.”
She wrinkled her nose but couldn’t find the energy to be truly disgusted. She was too focused on his huge hand grasping her hip. On the heat of him between her legs.
“I want your mouth on mine again,” he demanded.
Vessa laughed. “It's called a kiss. Kissing.”
“Kiss me, then.”
She twined her arms around his neck, let her fingernails scrape against his scalp.
And this time, when their lips met, there was nothing but a desperate need between them.
His tongue moved with hers as he pressed his hard length against her center.
He tasted like everything she’d been missing for months. For years.
“I’m sorry,” she panted against his mouth in between kisses. “I shouldn’t have left you. I was scared and…”
“I don’t care,” he growled. “I would do anything for you. Go to any lengths. When I broke free, I immediately followed.”
“Broke free? I told you I would release you. How did you…” She lifted his hand to inspect it. It had healed, but there was still evidence of the damage he’d done.
“This is nothing,” he breathed, capturing her palm in his. “I would have torn my entire arm off if I couldn’t get my broken hand through.”
She opened her mouth to speak, but he continued.
“You don’t understand. I didn’t want to be without you for even a second.
Do you know what it does to me?” His voice was thick with pain and need.
“And then after you took my knot… fuck. You’re my mate, you know that?
Mine,” he rasped as he trailed hot kisses down her throat and nipped at her collarbone.
“I couldn’t lose you again, so I followed.
I arrived here two hours after you did.”
She shook her head as he lifted the thin material of her top and licked her ribs. “That’s impossible. I would have known, sensed you.”
“Hmm,” he rumbled against her flesh. “I stayed away. Watched you from a distance. Waited.”
“Waited for what?” she huffed.
He palmed her breast through her bra, brushed a thumb over her peaked nipple. She arched into his touch. “I was waiting until I could accept your denial honorably.”
“Oh?”
His naked brow was furrowed as he lifted his head. “Then I realized I would never be able to. How does one accept the loss of their hearts? There were times when I watched you and I knew you were feeling it, too. Weren’t you?”
“Yes,” Vessa confessed. She had tried not to. Pits, she’d been trying for far longer than even these last eight months they’d been apart. “Getting over you is the only battle I’ve never won.”
“Let me put us back together again. All of our broken pieces,” he rumbled.
“We can put each other back together.”