Twenty-one Way Down We Go. #2
Then I look down at the flour-covered apron around my waist.
Fuck.
She's got me wearing an apron, making dinner, carrying groceries, buying birthday cards, and apparently letting her order me around in my own fucking kitchen.
I should be pissed.
Instead, I find myself smiling.
Barely.
But it's there.
I pull the apron loose and start to place things in the dishwasher.
°°°°°
UGHH
By the time I make my way downstairs, the house has changed.
The quiet that had settled over it earlier is gone, replaced by the faint clatter of dishes coming from the dining room and the soft music Lily must have left playing somewhere in the background. I follow the sound without thinking, turning the corner until the dining room opens in front of me.
And then I see her.
I stop.
For a moment, I genuinely forget what the fuck I was doing.
She's standing at the table with a stack of place cards in her hands, completely unaware that I've walked in.
The short, pale-yellow dress falls just above her knees, the colour making her skin look even softer beneath the warm lights.
Her shoulders are covered by a loose, knitted sweater, and her red hair falls down her back in soft waves, the white headband sitting neatly on top of her head.
And, because apparently Lily cannot exist without one, there's a little bow tucked into her hair.
Even her shoes have them.
Small white ballet flats with delicate ribbons resting across the tops.
I stare longer than I should.
There are beautiful things in this world. Expensive things. Rare things. Things men would kill to possess.
None of them have ever made me stop breathing.
She does.
She looks like something that doesn't belong in my world, like someone took a piece of sunlight and somehow gave it a heartbeat. Too bright for the darkness I've spent most of my life surrounded by. Too soft for the things I've done.
And, God help me, I want to keep her that way.
I want to keep her here.
With me.
Away from everyone who could ever hurt her, away from every person who might look at her and see something they could take.
The thought is possessive enough that I force myself to move.
Lily is placing the cards carefully around the table, one after another, making sure each sits perfectly on top of the white placemats. She has a large stack still balanced in her hands, and before she can reach for another place setting, I step forward and take them from her.
Her eyes immediately find mine.
Then that smile appears.
It spreads across her face so naturally that something in my chest pulls tight.
"You found the clothes I set out, I see," she says sweetly.
I glance down at myself.
The white button-up with the thin blue stripes fits comfortably across my shoulders, tucked into black slacks with a belt finished by a gold buckle.
I look back at her.
"I did."
Her hands come up without hesitation, gently smoothing the front of my shirt as though she's making sure everything is sitting properly.
Her fingers brush over the fabric near my chest, and I have to remind myself to breathe.
Her gaze drops briefly to the rest of my clothes before returning to my face.
"You look very nice."
I hum quietly. "Yeah?"
She nods.
"Very."
There's something about the way she says it that makes me want to keep her standing there.
Instead, she suddenly brightens.
"Come on!"
Before I can ask where, she's already reaching for my hand.
"You have to sign Matthew's card, and we have to hide the gift."
I take the remaining dishes from her hands before she can protest, setting them carefully on the table.
"Alright."
She leads the way toward the living room, her steps quick and light, excitement practically radiating from her.
I follow.
She reaches the rainbow-coloured gift bag and immediately pulls out the card, opening it before handing it to me along with a pen.
"I wrote something nice," she explains, watching me carefully. "I figured you wouldn't want to write much, so all you have to do is sign it."
Her finger taps a specific spot on the card.
"Right there."
I look down.
Underneath the words she's written is a blank space waiting for my name.
From Lily and-
I sign it.
No hesitation.
Then I hand it back.
She immediately takes it, swipes her tongue across the edge of the envelope, and seals it before slipping it carefully into the gift bag.
I watch her for a moment.
She looks pleased with herself.
"Where do you think I should put this for now?" she asks, holding up the bag.
"In my room."
She nods immediately. "Okay! Be right back."
She turns and hurries toward the stairs.
I can't help the small smile that pulls at my mouth.
"Better be quick," I call after her.
"They'll be here soon."
She makes a tiny squeak from halfway up the stairs, like she's suddenly remembered the time, and rushes upward.
I shake my head, still smiling faintly as I watch her disappear.
"Unbelievable," I mutter to myself.
And somehow, I don't think I've ever meant it more fondly.
°°°°°
I am so sorry, I have been away and I am sorry.
The end of school was crazy and then I immediately spent my summer working.
I am back and hopefully things will be coming out quicker.