22. Ellis
TWENTY-TWO
ELLIS
I fucking lied to her. Straight to her face. Right after declaring she was my friend. But it wasn't really a lie, was it? I try reasoning with myself. It was more of a half-truth.
And it's not like me making her French toast really means anything. Sure, it meant something for my dad and his dad before him. But not for me. I just wanted fucking French toast, so sue me. Not to mention, it was actually her choice, not mine.
I slake off the lingering guilt and divert all of my focus on reassembling the giant pink metal monstrosity that will soon reside in my living room.
God, how is this even my life?
I went from a bachelor without a care to having Scarlet and her fucking ferret sharing my space. Stranger still, I'm not even upset about it.
“Fucking hell, get it together, man,” I mutter to myself as I lay out all the parts. Thankfully, it's pretty straightforward and goes back together quickly.
If I move my Ti plant to the right of the couch, it will fit perfectly in front of the built-in bookshelves. Almost like it was meant to be there.
What the fuck has gotten into me?
I blink, as if that alone can clear away the strange thoughts tumbling through me, before sinking down onto the couch. I pinch my eyes closed and exhale deeply as I try to will away all of the weirdness clinging to me.
I must doze off at some point, because the next thing I know, there's little claws digging into my leg as Scarlet whisper-shouts “Fefe, no!”
I glance down only to find her ferret climbing up my leg like it’s a tree. “What the fuck?”
“She's just... interested. I'm sorry.”
“Interested in what?”
Scarlet shrugs as the little fur noodle wriggles its way onto my chest, where she promptly curls into a ball and makes herself right at home.
“All of the new smells.” Her lips quiver like she wants to smile but is fighting the urge. “And apparently... you.”
“Apparently,” I echo, my voice completely deadpan. “Is this going to be a reoccurring thing? Your... what even is she? A rodent?”
Scarlet gasps. “No! Not that there's anything wrong with rodents, but ferrets are actually a part of the weasel family.”
“And weasels aren't rodents?” I ask, completely out of my depth.
“Nope. Weasels are members of the order of Carnivora and members of the family Mustelidae, not Rodentia.”
I feel my lips lift into a highly amused grin. “This might be the nerdiest shit you've ever said to me.”
Her cheeks bloom my favorite shade of pink. “Yeah, well, I like to learn things.” She taps her temple. “I'm full of weird and random tidbits. It's why I’m so good at trivia.”
“Noted.” I glance down at the now-sleeping ferret on my chest.
“Oh shit, want me to get her?”
“No,” I pretend to sigh before crossing my arms behind my head. “She looks comfy.”
“Mind if I join y'all?”
A vision of Scarlet cuddling up beside me, laying her head on my chest flashes unexpectedly before my eyes, causing me to jolt.
“Or not,” she mumbles, backing away. “Just call me when you want me to come get her.”
“No, fuck.” I crook a finger her way. “C'mere, Princess.”
“You sure?” She bites her lower lip and the caveman inside me demands I free it. Or better yet, that I bite it.
Clearly, I need some caffeine or something. My brain’s off the rails today. But I roll my eyes and force myself not to react to my errant thoughts. “Get your ass over here, Scarlet.”
She huffs and shuffles my way, settling herself near my feet.
“It's weird, really,” she says after a minute.
“What is?” I ask as I absentmindedly run my fingers through Fefe's soft fur.
“She's not big on strangers.”
“She's met a lot of strangers?” I ask, caught somewhere between desperate for her answer and dreading it at the same time. All I can picture is a parade of random men, and the thought enrages me. Which is fucking dumb because I have no claim over her. And I don’t want one either... right?
“Well, I guess I don't know that for sure. She’s only ever met my Mom, who she does not like and Nora, who she's indifferent toward.”
Something unclenches in my chest at her response... something I'm not sure I want to look too closely at.
“Guess she just knows I'm special.”
Scarlet's dark eyes twinkle as she nudges my sock-covered feet. “Sure, that must be it.”
“Wanna order in?” I ask, collapsing down next to Scarlet on the couch after finally convincing Fefe to go into her cage for the night.
After a full day of Fefe running around my house, stealing my socks and hiding them under my dishwasher, and demanding my attention like an impatient toddler, I’m too fucking exhausted to do anything, much less cook.
“Sure.” She twists to face me, tucking her feet underneath her. “You tired?” she asks, her voice dripping with humor, which is welcome, even if it’s at my expense. She hasn’t been herself most of today. Not that I can blame her.
“Scarlet.” I level with her a dead stare. “Your fucking ferret is more exhausting than James, an actual walking and talking toddler.”
She giggles. and I swear to god, the sound shoots through me like a bolt of electricity lighting me up from the inside.
“I promise, she’s not usually so... intense.
” She bites her lip. “I mean, she’s definitely a little thief.
Socks, as you know, are her favorite, but she’ll pilfer anything she can get her little paws on.
Just be glad she only has one hiding spot here. So far, anyway.”
“So far?” I bolt upright. “What do you mean so far?”
Scarlet cackles in delight. “She’s a clever girl. At my place she also stashed things behind the dishwasher, as well as the washing machine, and in the bathroom closet.”
“She’s a menace.”
“She is, and I love her.” Her smile drops as she turns serious. “I promise, she’ll calm down. This was just a big change for her and she... well... she really seems to like you.”
“What can I say, Princess? I’m irresistible, to all species apparently.”
“You’re also a menace, so really, it’s a match made in heaven.”
“Haha, funny.” I shove my sock-covered toes into her thigh. “What sounds good?”
She wrinkles her nose. “What all delivers out here?”
I shake my head. “Not much. It’s pretty much pizza or burgers.”
“Ohhh, from where?”
“Buns Out,” I say, my mouth already watering at the thought.
“They deliver this far?”
“From town? No. But they opened a food truck at the top of the mountain that will.”
“Hell yes. Brunch burger and eggy fries for me, please. Extra aioli.”
I gag a little as I pull up the app to place our order. “You eat the weirdest shit.”
“Don’t knock it till you try it, Sunshine.”
“Sunshine?” he asks, quirking a brow.
“I don’t know.” She shrugs, suddenly looking shy. “Officer Jackass doesn’t really feel right anymore. And since everything’s gone to shit, you’ve sort of...” She trails off, buries her face in her hands, and groans.
“I’ve what?” I ask, as I tap the confirm order button on my screen.
“You’ve-sort-of-been-my-sunshine.” She says it all as one word and it takes a minute for my brain to digest her words.
“Well hell.” I sit all the way up, absolutely beaming as I open my arms to her. “That might be the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.”
I’m even more shocked when she understands what I’m silently asking and crawls across the couch into my arms for a hug.
“Do friends cuddle?” she asks as I tug her closer, settling her in front of me so that I’m the big spoon.
“I don’t see why not,” I say, slightly bewildered by my actions, because I am not a fucking cuddler. Especially not a platonic one.
She hums under her breath, like she doesn’t believe me. But she doesn’t move either, so I’m calling it a win.
“Gossip Girl while we wait?” I ask.
“Sounds good.”
“Pass me the remote?” I nod toward it on the coffee table.
“Sure.” She leans forward to reach it, and the motion presses her lush ass directly into my groin.
“Fucking hell,” I groan under my breath, wondering if she’s aware of the simultaneous torture and temptation she’s subjecting me to. I mean, surely, she can feel my chubby, right?
“You good?” she asks, passing me the remote.
“Just fucking peachy, Princess.”