15. Sienna
FIFTEEN
SIENNA
The whole way home I’ve been seething. Okay, no I haven’t, but I’ve been wracking my brain trying to figure out Trey’s thought process on why he’d pay Champ’s vet bill. I spiraled down a rabbit hole of insecurities. Does he think I can’t afford Champ? Is he inserting his macho dominance, and this is how our future relationship is going to be? Or is this him being nice? Either way, I’m going to want to talk about this. The only problem I currently have as I pull up to the house is how I’m going to start the conversation. Which is another animal in itself. I’m head strong, can come off abrasive, when really, I’m super passionate if it’s something I care about.
I’m still somewhat of a mess from my day at the warehouse. I did the best I could with what I had to work with. At some point, Genevieve and I need to make a game plan to eventually buy the small space, see if we can convert it into a storefront and make the back half work for all the other stuff. Maybe even add a shower. I’d like to eventually drive my personal car instead of a farm truck. As it is right now, I’d ruin my car between the mileage, me being an absolute mess at the end of the day, and the rough terrain. What good would that do? I close my eyes for a minute, taking a deep breath, in through my nose and out through my mouth. One isn’t good enough, so I do it two more times. Okay, I can do this. Surely, I can have a conversation with Trey that won’t turn into a knock-down drag-out fight. We never had them before, and I don’t think we will now, but goodness did I see a lot of those happen during my college years. A guy or girl would go to a party, one or the other would end up with another person. The fighting began the minute the truth came out, and everyone heard everything. Some couples managed to make it work. Others, well, it became a smear campaign.
My truck is already parked, the keys are out of the ignition, and I’ve got my fingers wrapped around the handle. All I need is to pull on it, and I’ll have the door open and can step out of the truck. Which is what I’m forcing myself to do. This is not the end of the road. This is a minor bump. We’re going to have them, I know this, and that’s why I put my rear in gear. I grab my bag from the passenger seat, throw it over my shoulder, and close the door. My eyes wander around the miles and miles of land surrounding our property. In the distance there are cows, birds flying, and a breeze has the trees swaying. I’m looking for my raccoon family. I missed them this morning, and it seems they’re nowhere to be seen this evening, either.
“Damn, I wonder where they are,” I breathe out. Obviously, no one responds, not that I’d expect them to. It looks like the farm is already shut down for the night. Some horses are stalled. My girl Lucy is one of them. She’s a diva and wants to be left alone. Amos’ horse likes to wander back and forth, so he leaves a stall door open from the pasture. There are a few others like him and a few others like Lucy’s. Amos added a few other animals throughout the years. Goats and donkeys now live at the Ellison farm. Dad would totally shake his head if he were still around, and Mom would be happier than a pig in shit. I can imagine all the things she would make from goat’s milk, like cheeses and yogurts, and I’d bet even soaps of sorts. Maybe I should look into doing something like that once life settles down. Fat chance of that happening any time soon, but a girl can dream. Though, if Genny gets ahold of my idea, she’ll easily start coming to the farm more and take over in the best possible way. I’d bet she’d find time to make soaps and lotions. The woman has energy I’d like to bottle up and buy for myself. I can imagine her branding it in a way that would work for our storefront, and because she’s such a genius marketing guru, I’m sure it would sell out.
I head up the stairs of the front porch. With our home being over one hundred years old, there’s no attached garage. Amos thought about adding one, but in the end, it was cheaper to build a detached with a covered walkway to use during the colder months. As it is right now, we just park off to the side and leave our vehicles out in the elements. Well, my personal car is in the garage. Amos made sure of that. Even though he has no idea my reasoning behind using the farm truck, I can see it kills him not to ask questions, yet he knows if he pushes, I’ll resist.
I’m reaching for the knob to open the door when I hear laughter coming from the other side. It’s too high pitched to be Trey’s, which means it’s more than likely Case who’s inside with his uncle. I open the door, staying as quiet as a mouse, wanting to watch their interaction. Trey has been all about wanting to see me pregnant with his child and, well, I’d love to see what he’s like with Case when no one is around.
“Uncle Tree!” Case’s speech has been a topic amongst the Johnsons for a while now. He struggles with his words and how to say them, at least this is what Amos told me, basically warning me should I be around Case and notice an issue to please act like there’s nothing wrong. Apparently, from what my brother told me, Ryland battles with Case’s speech development. He has shouldered the blame and responsibility in thinking his son’s delay is because of something he did. Everyone has told him that’s bullshit, but he can’t shake it.
I creep inside further, making sure my keys don’t so much as jingle or I don’t randomly bump into a wall and ruin their time together. I’m awestruck, there’s no other way to explain it. Trey is lying on the ground, hands tucked behind his head, and he’s Case’s amusement park. There are blocks, trains, cars, and even some action figures every which way on the floor. A smile tugs on my lips. Case has a race car in his hand and he’s zooming the wheels all over Trey’s body. Seeing him with his nephew is incredible. He’s loving and patient with him, and while I don’t have a niece or a nephew, so I can’t say if I’d be the same way, but I’d like to think I would.
Trey lifts his head, nods my way, and I give him a little finger wave. I mouth I’m going to grab a quick shower. He mouths back the word okay , then his attention is back on Case. I’m going to have to tell him tonight what I’m doing with Genny. There’s only so much longer I can keep him from that part of my life. Plus, tonight, Case took the attention away from my dirty clothes. Tomorrow, that may not happen. I should really move, except I’m rooted to the spot when Trey picks Case up and flies him over his head, making all kinds of noises like an airplane. There’s lots of laughter inside these four walls, and I want that forever. Any doubt I could ever have since we’ve officially been back together is gone. Trey Johnson was put on this earth to love me and to be a father to our children. And I was made to love him and be the mother to our children. A seed of hope blooms in my lower belly. My hand goes there, wishing for a baby to grow there, and soon.
I reluctantly peel myself away from the two of them. Their chuckles echo throughout the house as I make my way down the hallway. I’m going to have to be quick if I want to get in on the interaction of playing with Case. I really need to talk to Genny about making our plans become a reality, and fast. I also know the minute Amos is back in Arrowleaf and back from his self-imposed vacation, Trey and I are going to have to talk to my brother. I don’t want him to find out about our relationship, plus my business, through secondhand information. As it is, so far, there are more people who know about us. Tallulah because Trey paid my vet bill. Case since he’s here at the house, and I know for a fact Trey won’t be able to not give the slightest hint that we're an us. Then there’s Ryland, who will either pick him up or Trey will bring him home, but there are a lot of toys in the house, so I’m pretty sure Ry dropped him off, which means he’ll surely pick him up. Yeah, I’d say we need to get our ducks in a row fast.