Chapter 17
Liz forces herself over to the table, sliding into the middle chair, Riley and Mikey joining her on either side. Liz looks at each of them, waiting for someone to talk. They look back at her, waiting to hear what she has to say, wondering what has led her here… to them.
“So, what do you want to know? I promise I won’t keep anything out this time,” she says, wiping crumbs off the table, trying to keep her hands busy so she doesn’t panic.
“Everything,” Riley says. “You need to tell us everything that happened leading up to Dmitri taking you.”
“Okay, but I need you to promise not to get mad if I need time,” she says, fully expecting them to already be mad at her for having demands.
“You pulled a gun on Mikey last night yet somehow you ended up in my bed and got him to feel bad for you after. I don’t think you need to worry about us getting mad,” Riley says, tone almost playful.
Liz takes a deep breath and begins to tell them everything about her past.
“Well, um, it was pretty much your typical, sad girl life. My parents were monsters, always fighting. If they weren’t fighting each other, they were fighting me.
I probably should have told you I have an older brother, he’s been in jail more than out of it so there has to be some record of that, anyway, I’m pretty sure they only had me so the three of them had someone to take their anger out on.
What my parents would do was nothing compared to him, though.
They would encourage him to do whatever he wanted to me because, and I quote, ‘he’s our son’. ”
“I’m glad you’re opening up, love, I really am, but we need to get to the part where you get taken,” Riley says. Mikey shoots him a look, obviously trying to tell him to be quiet without saying it.
Liz looks over at him, crossing her arms and leaning back in her chair. “If you’re not going to listen, I’m done talking. I know I fucked everything up, but this isn’t easy for me. I have only told one person about my past and it got him killed,” she says, glaring.
“Sorry. Continue,” he says to her.
“Anyway…” She shoots him another look, hoping it’s enough to keep him from interrupting again.
“I had a horrible family who liked to use me as their personal punching bag, except my brother, he used me for so much worse. Whatever you’re thinking right now, he’s done it. Not all my scars are from Dmitri you know, and I don’t just mean the ones you can see.”
“Jesus Christ, how old were you? How did no one help?” Mikey asks. Liz peers over at him, he is better at hiding it, but she can see the storm brewing in his mind.
“Honestly? I remember shit happening in preschool, it got worse as I got older, but those are the first real memories I have of my mom hurting me. She said my dad gave me too much attention, she slapped me so hard I fell out of my chair. I was so scared, I thought she felt bad when she came over, I cried for help but that just made it worse. She dragged me by my hair and put me in a closet, so that was fun,” she jokes, using humor in a sad attempt to hide the pain.
“I was in second grade when things got bad. It was the first time he hurt me, like that… he came into my room talking about how he learned about sex in health class, he told me he was going to be the first one of his friends to do it, then shoved his hand in my pants, I screamed and hit him. I thought my parents would keep me safe, but when they saw the red mark on his face…well, you learn pretty quickly to keep your mouth shut, take the hits and pretend nothing happened after” she stops, her eyes unfocus, staring far off, lost in the painful memory.
Riley watches in silence, filling with anger when he sees the agony fade to nothing behind her eyes. It’s like she is so desensitized to her own trauma she can shut the pain off and become just a shell. He knows she is telling them the truth and it only fuels the rage building.
“Sorry, I’m rambling, so, I got out when I was sixteen.
I jumped from one shitty situation to another, moving in with a grown man who promised me a good life.
Big surprise, he was just as bad as everyone else, maybe even worse.
After I got away from him, I was living in my car, working two jobs, trying to just stay alive.
I had no one. Then, I met James, and I loved him from the moment we met.
After our first date, we were inseparable.
He took me in, taking care of me until we could take care of each other.
We got married, and a few years later, we had Maria.
I went from no family, to the most amazing one you could ask for.
Our house was happy and always full of love.
Even when things weren’t perfect, the two of them made it seem like it was. ”
Tears roll down her face, dripping onto the table below. She takes a breath, wipes her face, and starts again.
“A few years ago, a woman reached out to me, saying she was engaged to my brother.
It was his… sixth engagement, I think. I didn't keep tabs on him, but I would always find out when he got arrested. She told me she was going to be my sister-in-law and wanted to get to know me. The thought of him doing to her what he had done to me and so many other women made me sick. I looked at my own daughter, if she was going to marry a monster I would hope someone would try to save her. I told her she should get out before she ends up broken like the rest of the women in his life with a link to his latest arrest. His last fiancé was found in the woods, three missing teeth, a broken arm, broken eye socket and a bullet hole in her shoulder. Well, she must have listened, because after a couple days, I got a text from an unsaved number saying I was going to regret fucking up his life. I tried to ignore it, and after a while, I forgot and things went back to normal. I left James at home with Maria to go grocery shopping. When I turned back onto our street, I smelled smoke. There were flashing lights and sirens lining the road and our house was in flames.”
Riley and Mikey both watch her, wanting nothing more than to reach out and take away her pain. Neither of the men knew what they were expecting her to say, but it wasn’t this.
Liz takes a moment to compose herself, tears steadily streaming, dripping onto the table within silence.
Mikey reaches out and takes her hand, giving it a gentle, comforting squeeze.
A pang of jealousy goes through Riley at the sight of their joined hands, wishing he was the one comforting her.
He’s pulled back from his thoughts when Liz takes a shuddering breath.
“I only remember bits and pieces after that: screaming until no more sound would come out, trying to run to the house before an officer stopped me. From what I learned later, I tried to fight my way into my house. I remember one of the officers who grabbed me said they weren’t in the house.
I knew then, the look he gave me, I knew they were gone.
I planned the services and got what little remains I could cremated, I mean the real way.
Everyone knew it was my brother. My former in-laws hated me.
They told me it was my fault for what happened, like I didn’t already know.
I tried so hard to get the police to listen, to get any kind of justice for them, but they wouldn’t.
The cops all told me I was lashing out because of my pain.
Despite his mile long record of abuse, attempted murder, and literal fucking arson, they closed the case and let that fucking monster stay free. ”
They thought it couldn’t get worse, but with every word she spoke, their hearts broke more for her.
Riley had no idea she had been through so much, been forced to lose her family in such a horrific way.
He was practically shaking with rage. Liz looks to Mikey who just gives her a nod, letting her know Riley will be fine, and it’s safe to continue.
“James and I had made a promise to Maria; she had begged us to go on a big vacation. So, I put them in my car and drove. I couldn’t stay in that town any longer.
I forced myself to stay alive, every damn miserable day I fought the dark thoughts, for them.
Every day for sixteen months… until the day came.
I stumbled across the perfect spot to scatter their ashes.
I hated the beach, but they loved it. Sometimes I would carry their tiny urns through the sand to make them happy, I lost track of what I was doing and ended up on this tiny hidden beach with the softest white sand.
It was perfect. I swear I could hear them ask to be left there, so I did.
I scattered their ashes on that beach so they could be in paradise together.
I refused to taint their beautiful beach with my suicide.
I already ruined their lives, I would not ruin their eternity too.
I said goodbye and left them. I wanted to die the moment they did, but after two failed attempts I gave up until that day.
I found a shitty part of town with a bar on a pier.
I figured I could get drunk and drive off.
It was deep enough no one could get to me and I would be drunk enough to not bitch out. ”
They both look at her intently, deathly still, waiting for her to finish.
“I went to the bar and had a couple drinks, that’s when I was approached by a group of guys.
They tried to buy me drinks and talk to me, but he wouldn’t leave me alone, so I finally snapped, and said…
something stupid that set him off. He got pissed, called me a pathetic, drunk, whore, but he left—”
“What did you say?” Mikey interrupts, knowing it’s not important, but still wanting to know what could have set the Russian terrorist off.
“I told him... that he was a disgusting old creep, and I wouldn’t suck his dick with his boyfriend’s mouth and pointed to the bigger of his two buddies,” Liz said with a smirk.
Riley watches her as she goes to a dark place, thinking of something she’s keeping from them. He brushes it off. Opening up like this is hard enough for her. He will find out what she is thinking about eventually.
Mikey burst out in laughter, the booming sounds filling the apartment.
“Consider yourself forgiven, darlin. That’s the best thing I’ve heard in weeks,” he says to her before she continues.
“I kept drinking. I vaguely remember stumbling to my car, ready to end the nightmare that was my life. I think he was waiting for me in the parking lot, I don’t really know.
I remember someone pulling me into a car, something stabbing into my neck, then, nothing.
I woke up in the cell, now I’m here. I’m sorry, but I really don’t have it in me to tell you more of what they did to me while I was locked up,” Liz finishes, hoping they believe her.
They have to believe her, she has never talked to another living soul about what happened; she’s putting all her trust in them right now.
“Fuck,” is all Mikey manages to get out.
Riley remains sitting in icy silence. He can’t even look at Liz, scared for what will happen if he sees her in any more pain.
“So, this all happened because your brother is a pathetic piece of shit and you tried to save a stranger from his abuse,” Mikey says, only half asking. He isn’t sure what to think of her story; he never thought it would be as bad as what she just told them.
“Yeah, pretty much,” Liz says, shrugging her shoulders, so desensitized by her brother’s abuse she isn’t left in shock when re-telling it.
“What’s his name?” Riley asks. His deep voice is cold and dark, sending a shiver down her spine.
When she looks at him, their eyes meeting, she sees the anger he tries to hide.
She thinks back to the first time they really talked.
She thought he was joking about punishing the men who hurt her.
Liz knew they faced consequences for their actions, she just assumed it was because they disobeyed orders.
Now, looking at Riley, she knows it wasn’t.
He’s looking at her like he is going to burn the world down just to keep her from being hurt again.
“I… I can’t.” she says, sounding almost scared.
Riley breathes deep, thinking the fear gripping her is his doing.
“I haven’t said his name since I told the police… I just can’t, the minute I do he becomes real again,” she says, hoping they understand that by saying his name, she’s giving life to the monster who took everything from her.
Riley glances down and notices the scrap of paper and pen on the table, he picks it up and reads the note, eyes softening as he looks at Liz. He rips a small part off and slides it over to her, slipping the other half into his pocket.
“Darlin, I know it’s hard, but we need a name. It will really help us.” He gives her hand another squeeze, needing her to understand they are both there for her. She blinks back the tears and reaches for the pen. Hand shaking, tears burning her eyes, she writes a name on the paper and folds it up.
As soon as her hand is free of the paper, Riley snatches it off the table. He stands so fast the chair he’s sitting in goes flying behind him, hitting the cabinets with a loud crash. Liz jumps, never having seen him this angry. She’s filled with worry that his anger is because of her.
Before anyone can try to talk to Riley, he storms over to the door, boots echoing through the room, and storms out. They stay there for a while, letting everything that has happened wash over them. Liz keeps looking at the door, waiting for Riley to come back. Mikey is the one to break the silence.
“It’s not your fault. Ry just needs some time to process.” He stands and walks to the fridge, grabbing a beer for himself. “It’s been a long night, darlin. Why don’t you try to get some more rest? I’ll stay with you until he comes back.”
Liz gets up, emotionally drained, and fighting sleep. She doesn’t think about what she’s doing when she walks straight to Riley’s room and climbs into his bed, letting his scent carry her to sleep.