Chapter 39
Two weeks go by without any word on Dmitri, so Liz spends her days doing her normal routine.
She works out and trains with Mikey, goes to the gun range with Riley, and every few days Riley takes her to their grove.
Liz wakes up every day looking forward to going, just getting to enjoy her time with Riley.
Although things never go further than a few small kisses, every time they go she feels closer to him after.
The two of them spend hours talking, or reading, some days they just lay in the grass and don’t utter a single word.
Liz wakes up excited for the day, knowing she gets to get out of the house.
She quickly gets ready and powers through her training before rushing back to her room and changing to go out with Riley.
Liz puts on a pair of small cut off shorts and a white crop top.
She throws her hair into a high ponytail and slips her freshly painted toes into a pair of plain black flip flops before heading up to meet Riley at the truck.
They hop in and drive over like they have for weeks, when halfway down the road the non-linear junction detector stuffed into the back seat of Riley’s truck starts going off. .
Liz and Riley look at each other, shocked that something has changed. They don’t know whether to be thrilled at being one step closer to getting Dmitri or sad that their special time is coming to an end. Riley puts the truck in park and quickly checks out the machine beeping behind him.
“They definitely put something here. I’ll have Tyler look into it, but we need to be careful about what we say,” he says, quickly getting out of the truck and walking around to grab their things.
Riley carries the blanket over to their spot and lays it out, making sure it’s perfect for when Liz reaches him.
They sit and Riley cautiously looks around before pulling the small RF detector out of his pocket and setting it down in the middle.
He looks at Liz, noting the fear in her eyes as she looks around, hating that this special place is ruined for her.
Maybe he should have brought her somewhere else and saved this for when they would truly be able to enjoy it.
“I’m so sorry I got you into this, love” he says, reaching over and grabbing her hand. “I know this isn’t how you ever saw your life going.”
“Why do you keep apologizing like my shit luck is your fault?” she asks, sadness taking over his face.
“Riley, you saved me. You risked your life for me to make sure I got out. I heard you guys that day. I heard Mikey tell you that you would die with me if you didn’t leave,” Liz says, stomach churning at the thought of what could have happened to him if she had fought back any harder.
“You did everything you could to save me. In return, I stabbed you, almost got you killed, almost got you fired, then almost killed again. I don’t think I ever thanked you for what you did that day.”
She watches him with those big green eyes he loves so much. “You shouldn’t be thanking me. I could have done much more, should have done so much more. If I did, you would have never been taken,” he says, looking anywhere but at her questioning eyes.
“What do you mean?” she asks, confused. “My brother had them go after me, he admitted that.”
“It's my fault they met, and it's my fault they took you. I could have stopped it and I didn't."
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean, Riley?” Liz asks, unable to hide the pain in her voice.
Riley takes a breath, knowing it’s time she knows the whole truth, so he tells her everything.
“I was the one who put Ivan in the same prison as Jer– your brother,” he corrects himself, knowing how much she can’t stand to hear his name.
“Ivan was one of Dmitri's top men, we managed to catch him while he was in the U.S on the hunt for missiles. I brought him where I was told to bring him and I thought it was the end of it. A few weeks later we started hearing chatter that Dmitri’s men would be at that bar, meeting one of his contacts. I didn’t know he would be there.
We were given a description of who he was meeting, that just so happened to match you.
We were assigned to watch him, get any information we could before bringing him in.
I was camped on a building close by, eyes on him all night.
I watched as you went into the bar, you matched the discretion, but something was off.
I assumed you were just another woman going to get drunk and find a man for the night and matching a smuggler was just an unlucky coincidence.
” Riley pauses, knowing that telling her the whole truth is going to make her hate him as much as he hates himself.
“I watched him. He sat watching you for a while before finally approaching you. When he did, I thought I was wrong and you were the contact he was meeting. I sent Tyler a more accurate description and told him to find out who you were, but nothing came back, so I just kept watching. When I saw him get mad and storm off, I thought your deal went south. I kept tabs on you all night, but all you did was drink and leave.”
Liz looks at him, tears beading in his eyes, still unable to look at her.
“Instead of watching Dmitri, I watched you. I needed to find out who you were. I was sure you were working with him. If I had been watching Dmitri, I would have seen him leave. The second they grabbed you, I called Mikey, told him to get to you, but it was too late. You were gone by the time he got out there. I gave our guy on the inside your description and told them to find out what he did with you. I looked for you on every mission. Every compound we raided, I searched for you. The last one we did, he found me and told me they were holding a woman who vaguely matched your description. I had to make a choice: get Dmitri or save you. Obviously, you know who I chose.”
Riley lets out a breath, finally able to breathe with that off his chest. He looks at Liz, tears streaming down her face, and his heart shatters.
He reaches for her, not wanting to admit everything they had was gone.
He had so many chances to be honest with her and he was too much of a coward to do it.
He selfishly never wanted to ruin the moments they shared.
“So everything you’ve done… it’s been about easing your guilt?” Liz asks through her tears. She doesn’t wait for his response before getting up and walking to the truck, slamming the door behind her.
Riley parks the truck and Liz jumps out, heading for the cabin, not bothering to wait for him. She heads right to her room once the elevator doors open, ignoring Mikey when he asks where Riley is, refusing to speak to anyone. Liz slams her door, pacing circles around her room, her thoughts reeling.
Riley had seen her before and had fought to save her all because he blames himself for her capture.
If he didn’t, would he have bothered to release any of the prisoners?
She has spent months hating herself, feeling like she is betraying her late husband every time Riley makes her smile.
That self-hatred only grows with every kiss they share.
All the time spent together only made her fall for him more.
Now she knows he never felt the same way about her, he just blames himself for her ruined life.
She stands, stomping to the bathroom and filling the tub with the hottest water she can stand, thinking the burn will help clear her mind.
Just as she’s about to climb into the sweetly scented bath, someone knocks on her door.
Liz quickly puts a robe on and storms over to the door, expecting to see Riley on the other side when she throws it open.
“Hey,” Mikey says, flashing her a sad smile. “What’s wrong?”
Liz looks up at him, tears filling her eyes again. “You knew?” she says, letting the tears fall down her face. “You knew all this was because he fucking feels bad and you didn’t tell me?”
“It wasn’t my place to talk to you about it. Riley blames himself for what happened, he needed to tell you himself, in his own time.” Mikey lowers his voice.
“I never asked to be his pity project. He could have just let me go,” Liz says through her sobs.
Mikey closes the door and steps over, wrapping his arms around her, letting her sob into his chest.
“Listen to me, darlin, he found you because of guilt. I’m not denying that.
Everything that came after was because of you.
I’ve known him for a long time. We have freed hundreds of people together, and he always makes sure they get the help they need, but he has never cared for anyone the way he cares for you.
He has never fought for anyone the way he fights for you.
The second you stabbed him, his heart became yours,” Mikey says, rubbing her back as her sobbing slows.
“You know, he refused to leave your side until he was forced to. He made the doctor stitch him up sitting next to you. Everyone who broke his orders that day is still healing from what he did to them. Did he tell you why he’s always around?
Why a top operative hasn’t left to go on a single mission? ” Mikey asks.
Liz just shakes her head no against his chest. Thoughts racing from one thing to the next, she’s unable to form words, so she lets Mikey keep talking.
“He had orders not to look for prisoners, more specifically, you. The general didn’t want to waste resources.
Riley went against his direct orders to find you.
He broke the general’s nose for suggesting he hands you over, putting his seventeen-year career at risk to keep you out of harm’s way.
Don’t think for a second anything he does for you is out of pity.
That man is in love with you, he’s just too scared to admit it. ”
Liz sniffles and steps away from him, thinking about everything he said. She looks to the bathroom where her steaming tub is waiting.
Mikey follows her gaze. He paces to the door, turning back to her as he opens it. “Go enjoy your bath, we have information you need to know about when you’re done.” With that, he walks out, closing the door behind him.
Liz soaks for what feels like forever. When the water starts to turn cold, she climbs out and gets dressed, not excited for what comes next.
When she enters the kitchen everyone stops what they are doing and looks at her as she walks over to the table and pulls out a chair, taking the only seat left.
“Mikey said there’s something I should know. Anyone want to tell me what’s going on?” she says, looking at Tyler and Alex, moving the papers on the table in front of her.
“We go—”
“Not you.” Liz snaps, holding one finger up at Riley to silence him before he can finish his sentence, glaring at him, green eyes shining with the sting of betrayal.
“We got through the files,” Tyler says to her.
“Apparently your brother spent the last two and a half years working his way up the organization. Turns out he offered you up as a way to get to Riley, somehow using that to get closer to Dmitri. Last thing we know about is he intercepted a shipment of missiles and housed them until they were cleared to move.”
Alex clears his throat, not wanting Tyler to have to bear the bad news on his own. He looks at Liz and slides a few papers over to her. She looks through them, something like text conversations printed out.
“Before we got to him, he sent some information to Dmitri, convincing him he has been in contact with you and you know everything about his part in the operation. We think it's code, but I don't know for what.”
Liz goes deathly still, all the blood draining from her face. A slow shake starts to take over, and mad at him or not, Riley takes her hand. Liz shoots him a look but doesn’t pull away, everything Mikey said still weighing heavy on her mind.
“So, all this is, everything that has happened is just him making sure I never know peace,” Liz says to herself more than anyone.
Riley tightens his grip when he hears the pain in her voice. “One more thing,” Riley adds, hoping she will allow him to talk. “Tyler confirmed they bugged our grove. Two cameras, one with audio.”
“Anything else?” she asks, looking around the table.
When no one speaks up, she slides out of her chair and walks back to her room, not bothering to change before crawling into bed, fighting the sleep trying to take hold of her.
Even with all the new information, there is only one thing she can’t get off her mind.
One thing that Mikey said, setting her heart on fire.
That man is in love with you.