Chapter 44
They crash into the cold water. Riley immediately lets go of Liz, allowing her to swim back up.
As soon as her head is out of the water, Liz pushes her hair back out of her face and sees Riley already waiting for her closer to the edge.
She swims over and quickly sends a large splash of water in his direction, only causing him to throw his head back, letting out a deep rich laugh.
“You asshole, you could have killed me,” Liz shrieks, splashing him again.
Riley makes quick work of swimming over to where Liz is trying to focus on treading water and stands in front of her, water falling to just under his pecs. Growing increasingly distracted with the water beading on his muscular chest. Liz just glares at him while she bobs up and down.
“I would never hurt you, love,” he says, taking a slow step in her direction. “You wanted me to jump with you, and I wanted to make you happy. I wanted to have one last nice night with you.”
Liz opens her mouth to talk, but not being the strongest swimmer, starts to lose focus on the task at hand and snaps her mouth shut.
Riley just chuckles, reaching out and pulling her toward him.
He helps her get situated so she can float next to him, one arm under her head, the other resting over her torso, just under her breasts, holding her balanced.
He tries not to think about her, almost naked and glistening under him, or how the soft skin of her breasts would feel in his hand.
“Have you really been having a good time with me?” she asks, peering up at him, big green eyes sparkling under the light of the setting sun.
Riley sighs, not out of frustration, but contentment, his eyes meeting hers. “Being with you is the first time in a very long time I’ve been happy,” he says, peering down at her.
Liz wiggles out of his grip, getting herself upright again, turns and looks up at him.
He just laughs, knowing she still can’t touch the bottom of the lake.
Riley bends down and quickly wraps his large hands under her thighs and picks her up with seemingly no effort at all.
Liz squeals and starts to giggle, but wraps her legs around his waist, throwing her arms loosely around his neck.
“I feel the same way. I never thought I would find happiness again, but every time I’m with you, that ache in my chest isn’t as bad. I can smile, and laugh and enjoy the little moments again,” she says, lowering her head so her chin is resting on Riley’s shoulder.
He pulls one hand from her leg and wraps it around her back, pulling her in close, never wanting to let her go. They stay like that, wrapped in each other’s arms, nothing but the sounds of the waterfall crashing next to them.
“Am I a bad person?” Liz asks, almost a whisper.
Riley just squeezes her tighter. “Why would you think you’re a bad person, love?”
Liz starts to move herself back, so Riley drops his hand back to her leg. She leans and looks down to where their bodies are pressed together, trying to ignore the fact that her bare chest is still on display.
“You think you’re a bad person because… you don’t want me this close to you?” Riley guesses, sadness in his eyes. He drops his hands from her legs, not wanting to make her anymore uncomfortable, assuming she will let go and move away from him.
“Please, don’t,” she whispers, wrapping her legs tighter on his waist.
Letting out a small sigh of relief, his hands are back on her in an instant. Both arms wrapped tightly around her back, holding her close now that he knows she wants it just as much as he does.
“Tell me why you think you’re a bad person,” he says, more a command than a request.
Liz pulls herself as close to him as she can, nuzzling her head into his neck.
“For caring about you… for wanting you… for finding happiness with you,” she says, voice starting to crack from the tears she knows are coming.
“I know my family has been gone for years, but every time I’m with you, I feel like I’m betraying them.
I hate myself for having feelings for another man.
I told you before, I should be dead, Riley.
I shouldn’t be here, happy and wanting to live when they don’t get to,” Liz says, warm tears streaming down her cheeks and onto Riley’s chest.
His hand starts to move up and down, rubbing large circles on her back, placing a kiss on the top of her bare shoulder before saying, “Listen to me. You are a great wife and an amazing mother, nothing will ever change that. What happened to them is a horrible thing that should have never happened, but that doesn’t mean you’re a bad person for not giving up on your life.
From what you’ve told me, James was a great man, and he died knowing you will always love him.
I think, somewhere deep down, you know he wouldn’t want you to give up.
He would want you to find some way to be happy again, and he would be so fucking proud to see you doing that. ”
Liz wipes her tears, letting his words sink in.
She knows he’s right, so she stays there, wrapped in his warm embrace.
Finally, when her mind is calm, she loosens her grip on his neck, leaning back slightly to look up at him.
They lock eyes, and ever so slowly, Liz brings herself back up.
Riley leans his head down to meet her, resting his forehead on hers.
Everything is out in the open now. There are no secrets left to hide behind.
Liz battles the thoughts running through her head.
She can’t keep fighting how she feels. She leans in and places a featherlight kiss on his lips before pulling her face back.
That kiss is Riley’s undoing. He has never been so relieved to have forgiveness in his life.
His hands drop to her ass, fingers digging into her soft skin.
He lifts her higher before his lips are crashing into hers.
Her hands find their way to his hair, grabbing a handful to pull him in closer, inciting a small growl, and sending chills down her body.
Liz parts her lips, allowing their tongues to swirl around each other.
Riley grips her tighter and their kissing slows, turning gentle and loving as he carries her from the water and lays her on their blanket.
Riley pulls away, breathless, and starts a slow, steady line of kisses on her jaw, down her neck and back up again, while his callused hands explore her body.
He rubs up and down her side, across her flat stomach, drawing tiny moans from her with each caress.
Her hands wrapped around him, delicate fingers digging into his strong back.
He kisses his way back to her mouth and her lips instantly part for him, his tongue sweeping back in.
Riley drags his hand up her side, agonizingly slow, before finally giving himself what he wants and taking her breast into his large hand.
Riley holds her, almost tenderly, rubbing his thumb over her peaked nipple before giving it a small pinch. Liz arches her back and lets out a breathy moan, mouth still locked with his.
Liz takes her hand from his back, sliding it down the hard ridges of his abdomen. Reaching between them in an attempt to grab what's been straining against his briefs since her legs wrapped around him.
He stops her, bringing her hand over her head where he pins it.
Reluctantly, he pulls his mouth from hers and leans down, whispering in her ear, “As much as I would love to feel every inch of you wrapped around my cock… we’re being watched, princess.
” Leaning down, he kisses her again, this time gentle, loving, sending butterflies through her.
“I don’t care,” she mumbles into his lips, kissing him back. She can feel his smile spread across his lips before pulling away and looking into her eyes.
“I want this as bad as you, love, maybe even more, but this isn’t how I pictured it happening for the first time,” he tells her, placing a tiny kiss on the tip of her nose.
“So you’ve thought about this?” she asks.
“There is never a time when I’m not thinking about it,” he says, releasing her hand. He moves his hand to her thigh, rubbing up and down, gently sweeping his thumb over the place he’s dying to touch. Liz lets out a breathy moan, stretching up to kiss him, sad knowing it’s going to end.
“Can we come back tomorrow? Since everything’s changing, I want one more night here with you.”
“Of course, baby,” he says, kissing her again before pushing himself up.
They sit up, Riley pulling Liz onto his lap, holding her close while they watch hundreds of fireflies dance around in the dark clearing.
It’s the perfect end to their day. Riley’s gentle caress doesn’t last long before he starts kissing every inch of skin he can get to, his hands roaming her body once more.
It kills her, but she has to stop him. They reluctantly stand, quickly redressing before they can jump back into each other’s arms.
Riley takes Liz’s hand and leads her back to the car, opening the door and helping her in before he climbs into the driver seat and speeds back home.