Chapter 12 #2
What I do notice, though, with raw clarity, is how all the pressure from my body is currently pooling between my legs.
And I’m not the only one who notices.
My eyes fly open at the same time that Jamie sucks in a sharp breath, his hands stopping what they’ve been doing.
I sit up quickly, getting a little dizzy from the rush, and let out an irritated growl. “Fuck. Jamie, I’m sorry. I got way too relaxed there.”
There’s no answer, no movement. Did I freak him out? He hasn’t even got his license yet, but he already has to deal with someone’s inappropriate boner.
I turn to look at him. And I freeze.
His expression is stunned, but not in the way I’d expect. His cheeks are red, mine must be too, but his pupils are blown wide, lips parted. His chest is rising and falling rapidly, and when his gaze lifts to meet mine, the emotion there is impossible to misinterpret.
Lust, deep and unadulterated.
Holy shit.
Jamie’s tongue flicks over his parted lips, leaving them shiny.
“Would you like me to help out?”
Great. Now I’m having auditory hallucinations. “Sorry?”
Jamie’s eyes flick down to where I’m redundantly trying to conceal my hard-on. “I mean…” He shrugs, as if we are discussing weather. “It’s kind of my fault.”
Oh-kay, not a hallucination. It takes me a hot minute to formulate a response. “It’s not. My body is just stupid and constantly horny.”
“Still… It must be uncomfortable,” he insists. He’s back to wringing his hands together, his shoulders slumping. “And I know you have people you can call, but I’m right here. You might as well use me.”
My ears ring. Jesus fucking Christ. How.
On. Earth did Jamie go from avoiding me like the plague to offering to jerk me off?
Was it the massage? Did having his hands on me cause his restraint to crumble?
Because it’s not just that he’s offering; he looks downright eager for it, waiting for my permission.
If it wasn’t clear before, Seth was definitely right; Jamie does want me, and he’s been fighting hard not to want me. Until now.
We need to talk, Seth was right about that too.
And this is as good an opportunity as it gets.
I don’t have to bring it up awkwardly—it’s already awkward and can’t get any worse.
I need to be open with Jamie. I also need to make sure he knows how much I care about him and that I want to salvage the situation as much as possible.
I don’t want to lose him. Not as a roommate, not as a friend.
Not as someone who’s slipped into my life so effortlessly, as if he always belonged there.
But this isn’t about me—it’s about Jamie not getting hurt because I can’t give him what he wants.
Alright, honest and open conversation, here we go.
“Yeah, okay.”
What. The. Fuuuck.
Tyler, you fucking moron, have you gone insane?! What happened to the honest and open conversation?!
I make a series of inhuman, confused noises, but before I manage to take it back, Jamie’s face lights up like a goddamn Christmas tree.
“Really?”
“I…” Fucking hell, I can’t backtrack now. It would crush him. Or worse, he’d think I was mocking him.
I take a deep breath. I got myself into this mess, and I’ll need to find a way out of it. Later. After I’ve thought it through.
“Y-yeah. But only if you’re absolutely su—”
Between one blink and the next, Jamie is on his feet.
And then on his knees.
On the floor.
In front of me.
“This is good, right?”
He gazes up at me with big hopeful eyes while I try to make a lick of sense of what’s happening.
“I… What are you doing?”
Confused, Jamie looks at the couch, then back at me. “You can lie back again if you want. This is just a better angle for me.” He licks his lips again. “I can get your cock deeper like this.”
I can actually feel my brain exploding, I’m just not sure if it’s from our positions, hearing someone as sweet as Jamie say the word ‘cock’, or that he’s wanting to take mine into his mouth. Throat deep, apparently.
“I—I thought you’d just jerk me off.”
Jesus. Is that disappointment in his expression?
“I can do that, if you want,” he says quietly. “But, technically, you can do that yourself. I thought you’d prefer my mouth. I’m really good, I promise. No gag reflex.”
Well, my brain is officially kaput. My dick, though? That fucker is hard as a rock.
Of their own accord, my eyes fall to Jamie’s mouth. It’s…a pretty mouth, lips soft-looking and plump. It’s on the smaller side, and shoving my dick in it could cause some serious damage.
Fuck, why does my cock like that imagery?
“I know you’re not into guys,” Jamie carries on, oblivious to my crisis. “That’s fine. You can close your eyes while I suck you off. It will be just like a girl’s mouth. I’ll make sure not to make any noises.”
As the words register in my slowly rotting brain, bitterness spreads on my tongue.
Why would he say that? Why would he be willing to do it while I think of someone else?
Would he really be okay with sucking off a guy who’s pretending he has a girl kneeling between his legs instead?
Has he…has he done it before? Agreed to fade into the background and become someone else in the other person’s mind while getting them off?
The thought fucking outrages me.
“That won’t fly. I like it when my partners are loud,” I say with a growl.
It’s not what I want to say. I want to chastise Jamie, make him realize he shouldn’t be okay with being used like that, but it’s not my place. Who am I to lecture him?
Jamie’s baby-blues widen, a few stuttered sounds escaping his lips. “Oh. Well, that…that wouldn’t be a problem. So…yeah?”
Fuck. Seriously, this guy…could he sound a little less eager? Maybe like he wouldn’t die if I said no right now.
Then don’t say no, idiot.
“Are you sure about this, Jamie?” I have to ask again.
Jamie nods quickly. “I am sure. I love giving head.”
My dick fucking throbs, and I let out a big breath of surrender. “Okay. But only if you’re sure you can handle me. I might be a bit too much for you.” The toy I saw in the bathroom back then was surprisingly big, but had nothing on me.
“I can handle you,” Jamie says without skipping a beat.
I can’t shake the feeling that I’ve heard him say it before.
At the clinic, I suddenly realize. When he first brought up the offer to massage me.
The memory of his blush comes to mind, and the way he dipped his gaze and lowered his voice as he said the words.
I suppress a hysterical laugh. Tyler, you idiot. It was so obvious, from the very start.
“Tyler? Is everything okay?” Jamie’s brows are pulled together, but he hasn’t moved from his spot. Still kneeling in front of me, on the hard floor, waiting patiently. Kind of like, heh, like a bunny asking for a treat.
In short, he’s impossible to deny.
“Yeah, all’s good.” I reach for one of the cushions and hold it out to him. “Here.”
Jamie regards it with confusion. “I’m okay. I don’t mind kneeling like this.”
“Well, I do.” I nudge him with the cushion. “You’re already gonna have a sore jaw, no need to have sore knees too.”
Jamie’s eyes fall to the tented front of my sweats, his throat bobbing. He takes the cushion with a mumbled “Thanks”, sliding it under his knees.
“See? Isn’t that better?”
Blushing, Jamie nods.
Satisfied with the set-up, I lift my hips, pulling my sweats down to mid-thigh, my dick bobbing free since I’m going commando. I sigh with instant relief, seeking out Jamie’s face to see his reaction.
It’s pretty much what I expected. His mouth is hanging open, eyes ridiculously wide and dark.
Allowing a proud smirk to break free, I grip my dick at the base and give it a long, satisfying stroke. “Still sure you can handle it?”
Jamie answers by putting his hands on my knees and looking up at me with a desperate expression as he whispers, “Please.”
I give him an encouraging grin and let go of my dick. “I’m all yours.”
I wait with bated breath as he slowly inches closer, into the space between my legs. One hand wraps around my cock gingerly, like he’s still not sure if he’s allowed. I spur him on by shifting my hips closer and up, thrusting into his fist.
He sucks in a breath, tightens his grip and leans in, lips already parting.
And then, he stops. “Are you… You’re going to watch?”
I arch an eyebrow. “Is that a problem?”
“N-no. I just didn’t think you’d want…”
There it is again—the outrage from before. I focus on making my voice calm, not wanting Jamie to think I’m upset with him.
“Did you think I’d close my eyes and pretend you’re someone else while you work hard to get me off? That’d be pretty unfair, don’t you think?”
Jamie blinks uncomprehendingly. “I…”
“If you’re going to wreck your throat on my cock, you can damn well be sure that I’ll watch every second.” That came out harsher than I intended. But at least Jamie doesn’t seem— Actually, he’s making a face I have a hard time interpreting. “What—”
Before I can string the words together, Jamie dives forward and burrows his face in the space between my hip and thigh, letting out a loud moan.
Holy shit. Not what I was expecting at all.
It also makes me realize, way too late, that I left the gym in a rush, so I could nip the migraine in the bud. Which means I never took a shower. Ugh, gross.
“J-Jamie? Sorry, I just realized I didn’t take a shower after the gym. If you give me five, I can—Oh, fuck!”
This time, Jamie’s moan is not just loud—it’s outright filthy. Instead of backtracking since I don’t exactly smell like a bunch of fresh roses, he rubs his face into my hip crease and inhales deeply.
Oh. My. God.
He continues doing that, a series of sounds escaping him, desperate and high-pitched. Jesus Christ, is he sniffing my dick? Is it a musk thing? Whatever it is, he seems to be hooked on it. Acting like he wants to make cologne out of it. It’s weird.
And fucking hot.