Chapter 32 #4
“But it’s…it’s permanent!”
I’m sure that if he wasn’t holding my hand, he’d be gesturing wildly with his arms.
“That’s the point.” I run my thumb over his pulsepoint. “I’ll carry it with me wherever I go.”
There’s no more protesting after that. Go figure.
“I’ll start now,” Cindy announces, and after a couple of beats, I feel the needle digs into my skin.
That’s…not bad at all. A little spicy around the tendons, but that’s about it.
Jamie clearly doesn’t think so, making a scared sound and gripping my hand like he’s the one getting tattooed.
“How you doing so far?” Cindy checks after the first line.
“It tickles.”
She laughs. “That’s good, I guess.”
She carries on, occasionally dipping the needle in a small cap with ink. I mean to watch the tattoo come to life, but instead end up watching Jamie, whose gaze is glued to my wrist. His expression keeps changing between disbelief, wonder, and empathy pain, the latter completely unnecessary.
“Okay, all done!” Cindy informs me what must be only five minutes later. I knew it would be quick since I chose just an outline of the shape, but this was really speedy. “Let me apply ointment and wrap it for you, and then you’re good to go.”
I finally turn my focus to the finished piece. Naturally, the skin is red and inflamed, the lines slightly raised, but it’s all very neat and smooth.
The bunny tattoo is illegally cute, with bulging cheeks and a tiny nose pointed upwards, like it’s looking to the sky.
It’s perfect.
And it’s mine.
“It looks great. Just what I wanted.” I hold out my wrist to Jamie, so he can have a proper look before Cindy puts film all over it. He doesn’t say anything, but his eyes go suspiciously glassy.
“I take it you have a rabbit?” Cindy asks as she begins wrapping it.
“Two, actually. They’re absolutely adorable.” Eyes locked with Jamie’s, I say very slowly and deliberately, “I love them very much.”
Am I a coward for saying it to him indirectly? And with another person around? I don’t know. I just know the moment feels right. I also don’t want him to feel pressured to say it back, so saying it in public seemed like a good choice.
Looking at him now, I don’t think he’d be able to say it back anyway. He just stares at me, mouth ajar, not making a sound.
I think I broke him.
God, he’s cute.
“How cute,” Cindy comments, inadvertently voicing my thoughts. “Okay, done. Let me go through the aftercare with you.”
Shortly after when we’re leaving, Jamie still hasn’t taken his eyes off my wrist, as if checking it’s really there.
“I can’t believe you did that. You’re insane.” He says it like it’s a bad thing, but I can tell he loves it.
“They say love makes you do crazy things,” I reply, casual, even though my skin still stings under the fresh ink. “But hey, I could’ve gotten your name tattooed instead. Wouldn’t that be lame?”
The joke flops. Everything about Jamie hardens and softens at once. I’ve seen him like that before—when he was filled with hope but too scared to hold onto it in case it slipped through his fingers.
“You really mean it?” he asks, so quietly it almost hurts. “What you said back there…and now?”
“You’re gonna make me spell it out, huh?”
I hate that he still feels like he has to ask, after everything, but I’m happy to say it as many times as needed.
Closing the remaining distance between us, I pull him into me, our bodies flush. I can feel a heart beating loud and fast, but I don’t know to who it belongs to.
“I love you, Jamie.” I brush his lips with mine. “I love you, little bunny.” Then I kiss him, like sealing a deal.
I’ve never said those words to anyone, not even Lindsey. I thought that saying them would feel monumental, like Earth shifting on its axis.
Strangely, it’s the opposite. Calm. Comfortable. Like something falling into its rightful place, a final piece of a puzzle that’s been missing.
I start to pull away when I taste salt, but don’t get far. Jamie clasps my face, rising up on his tiptoes.
“Me too,” he says, capturing my lips again. “I love you too. So much.” Another kiss, each more desperate than the last. “You saved me, you know? In so many ways. My knight in grumpy armor.”
He saved me too. But I don’t think he’d believe me if I told him.
“Are you gonna get a tattoo in my honor too?” I tease.
He presses his lips together, giving me an apologetic look. I love how serious he always is.
“I can do the stick-on one.”
That pulls a laugh out of me. “Good enough for me.”
“Is it? Even if it’s not permanent?”
“Well…” I lean in to whisper in his ear. “I’ll just have to think of another way to mark you up as mine.”
His breath hitches, goosebumps breaking out on his neck.
“Tyler?”
“Yeah?”
“Can we go home? Now?”
I’m already dragging him away before he even finishes talking.
He laughs, a bounce in his step as we walk together.
I couldn’t care less whether he gets a tattoo or not. Even if the marks I put on him keep fading, that’s okay. It just means I’ll have to do them over, and over, and over again, reminding him who he belongs to.
And I can certainly live with that.